In Pain You Find Love
by Moonbeam-987
Summary: When tragedy hits the Venturi/McDonald house hold what will happen? Will there be survivors? Will there be romance? Oh, there will definitely be a plot twist!:  DASEY!
1. The Painful Begining

**Ello everyone!:) This is my first try at something besides Zutara, so just bare with me. I have read a lot of Dasey fanfics and I decided that I wanted to make one myself! This plot has been done to death, but I have a couple of my engenius ideas that I am going to toss into this story:) I hope you enjoy the first chapter:))**

**Disclaimer: Sure I own it... in my dreams!:)**

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Derek is the one person who can get under my skin, and he is the guy that I love. We have lived under the house for the past two years and now it is time for both of us to move out. He decided to go to a college north of the house while I am going to a college south of our home. He doesn't know that I love him and I plan on him never finding out.

My mom was helping me pack my stuff so we could put it in the back of Derek's truck. He was going to drive me to my new apartment while my mom and George would be following after they picked up the other kids from school. I have to sit in the truck with Derek for almost two hours, and it's going to be a long trip.

After we got everything piled in the back of the truck I hugged my mom and George telling them I would see them in a few hours. I hopped up in the passenger side and buckled while George was telling Derek to drive carefully and to be safe. After the speech was over Derek got in and started the engine. The air-conditioner blew his sent around me and I melted in my seat. The smell of cinnamon and vanilla enveloped me and I sighed silently soaking it all in.

"Where do you want to eat?" He asked looking at the restaurant signs ahead of us.

"I don't care, where ever you want to eat" I replied.

He chose a small diner right as it started to rain. The rain was coming down in bucket fulls as we walked in. A waitress around our age with curly red hair walked up to us.

"Hello my name is Luna" she said in a chipper voice. "You guys are the cutest couple I've seen!"

Before I could correct her Derek was. "We're not a couple. She's my step-sister."

I knew we weren't a couple, but every time he had to correct somebody on the subject my heart broke a little more.

"Oh," she said, "well I'm sorry." She pointed to a table and said, "You can go sit at that table and I will be there in a second." She winked at Derek and turned away.

Derek smiled and stared walking to the table. My blood boiled. We sat down across from each other and looked at the menus.

"What can I get you to drink?" Luna asked when she walked over to our table.

"I want a coke" Derek replied rudely.

"I'll just have tea." I said not looking at her.

"Ok, one coke and one tea coming up." She walked off into the kitchen and came back with our drinks. She placed small napkins on the table to set our drinks on. There was something small written in the corner of Derek's napkin. She smiled as she left and Derek looked down at his napkin. I took it out of his hands and it read _Luna Hooks 324-5463._

My jaw dropped and he snatched the napkin out of my hand.

"Are you really going to call her?" I asked.

"I dunno." He said looking back down at the menu.

We ordered our food and Luna brought it out to us. We didn't talk, we just ate.

"I hope mom and George aren't trying to drive through this" I said looking out into the rain.

"Dad would never try to drive in this with everyone in the car. I'm sure they stopped somewhere to eat too." He replied before stuffing his mouth with another bite of mashed potatoes.

The waitress came with our check, and we paid. The rain was still really bad outside so we decided to sit in the diner until it stopped.

"So, when do you start school?" he asked trying to fill the annoying silence.

"August 27th" I replied.

"Only a week? Wow, I don't start till September 10th."

"Then why are you moving up there so early?" I asked the question blurting out of me.

"Hockey practice."

"Oh" I replied.

The silence ensued after that. Luna came around ever few minutes to ask us if we needed anything and would flirt with Derek. This little floosey waitress was pushing me to my limit. Sure she didn't know I was in love with Derek, but it was trashy to flirt with someone when they are sitting with somebody else.

The rain let up and I practically jumped out of my seat saying, "Come on Derek."

I grabbed his wrist and there was a jolt that went through my hand. I dropped it just as fast as I had grabbed it. He looked at me with an inexpressible look upon his face. _Did he just feel what I just felt?_

We walked out to the truck and got in without looking at each other. Yet again the air-conditioner blew his sent around me and I completely got lost in it. Derek drove the rest of the way as we sat in silence, the radio was the only thing keeping me from going mad.

Once we got to my college we started unloading the truck, carrying as much as we could in our hands. It took a couple of trips before we got everything in my apartment, and after we got everything inside I busied myself with putting everything in its place while Derek in the middle of the couch watching a hockey game.

After I got done I sat on the edge of the couch trying not to get to close to Derek. He got up and got a drink and when he came back the impact of him landing on the couch made me sort of roll into him. Even though I didn't want anything more than to be sitting that close to him, I tried to move back to my spot, but he did something I would have never expected. He threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in closer to him. We sat there for about an hour watching hockey like this. I hate hockey, but I would sit through hockey game after hockey game if I could just sit like this forever. Then I realized how late it was…

"What time is it?" I asked Derek.

He looked at his phone and replied, "8:27."

"George and everyone should have been here hours ago…"

I pulled out my phone about to call my mom when I saw that my phone was on silent, I had seventeen missed calls, and three voice mails. I called my voicemail to listen to the messages. The first played and it was a scruffy man voice.

"_Casey McDonald, I am Officer O'Brien. I have some bad news; your family was in an accident. I would appreciate it if you would call me back as soon as you can. Thank you." _

Before I could gather my thoughts the next one started playing automatically. It was Emily.

"_Casey! Answer your phone! Th-there has b-b-been and a-a-accident. You need to come b-b-back home and get t-t-t-to the h-hospital. Hurry Casey!"_

Tears started to roll down my faces as the third started to play.

"_Casey, I need you to answer your phone! It's Sam, please answer your phone! Derek isn't answering his phone either, and you need to get home fast! Hurry Casey there isn't much time!"_

After Sam's message I jumped up and grabbed Derek's hand and started running out of the door.

"Case! What are you doing?" He asked as I tugged him out into the rain.

"It's the family!" I screamed at him. As soon as the sentence left my mouth he was running right beside me not needing to be tugged anymore. We hopped in the car and started flying down the highway.

"Casey, tell me what happened." He said with his voice thick with worry.

"I-I don't know. E-E-Emily and S-Sam, v-voicemails, an ac-accident!" I said incoherent through sobs.

He took my hand in his hand that wasn't holding the steering wheel and started rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand. We drove in silence from then on, terrified of what was to come.

We pulled up into the town hospital and got out of the truck. Derek waited for me on the other side of the truck and held out his hand to me. I took it and we walked into the hospital. My eye caught two people sitting in the waiting area of the emergency room.

It was Sam and Emily. He was holding her as sobs wracked her body, and I saw tears leaking from his eyes also. My stomach lurched.

"Emily!" I yelled and she stood up and ran towards me.

"Casey!" she said as she hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe, but I hugged her back just as hard.

"Em, what happened?"

She didn't reply, she was crying to hard. Then Sam appeared behind her.

"Sam what happened? Where is my family?" Derek asked as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Derek, George was driving in that awful rain. A man in a truck didn't see the stop sign and ran it r-r-right as…" Sam couldn't say anything else.

"Right as what!" Derek yelled shaking Sam by the shoulders.

"He hit them Derek!" He cried out.

My legs wobbled underneath me and the room started spinning. Em noticed and sat me in one of the chairs in the waiting room.

"Where are they?" Derek said as tears streamed down his face.

Sam didn't answer.

"Where are they Sam? Where's dad? Nora? Lizzie? Edwin? Where is Smarti?" he asked his voice getting louder and louder with each name.

"Derek, only Lizzie made it…" Sam answered in a whisper.

Derek slumped to the floor and started sobbing, his shoulders shaking with each wracking breath. I moved to the floor with him and wrapped my arms around him sobbing myself. I looked up at Sam and Em.

"Where is Lizzie?"

"She is in ICU. They had to r-revive her twice, the doctors aren't sure if sh-she is g-g-going to make it through the night." Emily replied.

"I want to see her." Derek said pulling up off the floor with my arms still wrapped around him. "I want to see Lizzie."

"I'll ask the doctors." Sam said as she went to the nurses' station.

He came back with a doctor dressing in dark blue scrubs with white hair.

"Hello I am Dr. Sutton. I hear you want to see Lizzie McDonald?" he said with a low voice.

"Yes," Derek replied, hot tears making trails down his face, "I'm her brother, and this is her sister." He said pointing towards me.

"She was sitting in the very back of the van and didn't get full impact of the wreck, but she is still in critical condition. You can see her whenever you want though, seeing the circumstances. Follow me." he said as he started to walk towards two big metal doors.

Derek and I followed holding on to each other for support. We kept walking until we made it to a room with a girl laying in the bed. She had brown hair and her skin looked unusually pail, but as Casey got closer she realized it was her little sister laying there. She had big gashes going across her face that had been stitched up, a long red rectangle shaped burn on her neck, and there were a lot of marks going around her shoulders.

"She didn't get hit by the truck, but she got banged up pretty bad" the doctor said. "Her head hit the back window and the glass broke producing these marks," he pointed to her face, "This mark on her neck is from the seatbelt, and the rest of the nicks and marks are from the shattered glass. We had to revive her twice and now all we can do is wait. I will leave you three alone." He said as he turned to exit.

"Thank you." I said before he walked out the door.

Derek stared down at my little sister with tears rolling down his face.

"How could this happen Case?"

"I don't know Derek, I don't know." I said looking up at him.

"My dad's gone, Edwin's gone, Nora's gone, Smarti…" he couldn't even finish the sentence.

"I know…" I said holding my sister's hand praying that she was going to make it through.

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**Did you like it? I surely hope you did! And I know what you're thinking, _Ohmygosh! This girl is being like every other person who has written a Dasey story and has killed off all of the family_... But this is where you are wrong! I will see you soon if you review;)**


	2. Wake Up

**Here is the second chapter! I was a little unsure about this chapter, I was going to hold off on it, but I thought that it wasn't going to get any better than this. I was kind of making up as I went, and it makes sense to me because I know how I want it to be, so if you have any questions feel free to ask. And I am always up for constructive criticism:) but please be nice! I hope you don't get lost...**

**kmr04: **_I just want to confirm... the family never even made it out of town after having picked up the kids... is that right? -_**Yes, that is correct. I didn't think about having them go very far since they went to the hospital in their home town. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.  
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**Disclaimer: I don't, nor will I ever own LWD. I know, I'm sad about it too:'(**

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"Case?"

"Yes Derek?" I asked looking up at him.

He was sitting in a chair on the opposite side of Lizzie's bed from me. He was holding her right hand as I held her left. Redness enveloped his eyes and he looked completely exhausted, but I'm sure I don't look any better.

"Where do you think the rest of them are?" He asked his voice cracking in a few places.

"I don't know Derek." I said as tears started to leak out of my eyes.

The doctor didn't tell us about the rest of our family, he only informed us on Lizzie. I'm sure that they are all in the morgue, but I couldn't bring myself to voice it. Just then a police officer walked into Lizzie's room.

"Are you Casey McDonald?" He asked looking at me.

"Yes I'm Casey, and this is my step-brother Derek." I said as I wiped tears away from my eyes.

"I am Officer O'Brien, I called earlier."

"Oh, yes! I'm sorry I didn't call you. After I got your message we came down here as fast as we could."

"It is ok." He said with a sincere smile.

"We don't know what happened." Derek said not taking his eyes away from Lizzie, "We weren't there. Could you please leave."

"I know that son, but the hospital needs you to confirm the bodies, and I thought I should warn you a head of time. And I was making sure that you found your sister."

"Thank you." I said. I looked down at my little sister and just imagined what the rest of my family looked like. My stomach twisted and I felt dizzy.

"Ok, if you ever need anything you can call the Police Station and ask for me."

"Thank you Officer O'Brien." I said attempting a smile, but it didn't really pull across my face.

He left the room and I looked at Derek. His eyes were still glued to Lizzie. Tears slowly fell from his eyes and landed on his forearm.

I can't imagine what he is going through. He lost his whole family. He was the only Venturi left. I still had Lizzie, but he had nobody. Sure he had me and had Lizzie, but we're not his blood, we're just a substitute. He lost his dad, his brother, and his baby sister. I lost my mom. Even though I'm in unbelievable pain about losing her, I can't imagine what he is going through.

"Derek, are you ok?" I asked before even thinking.

"No Casey, I'm not ok. I lost my dad, my brother, and I lost my S-s-smarit!" The tears poured out of his eyes. I let go of Lizzie's hand and walked over to his side of the bed. I wrapped my arms around him and he turned around and pressed his face into my stomach. His hot tears seeped into my shirt, but that only made me hold him tighter.

"Shhh, shhh. We're going to make it through this Derek, we have to." I said with tears falling down my face.

_How can we make it through this? Lizzie is in a coma, half of my family is gone, and Derek is slowly dying on the inside. I can't do this, I'm only 18._

"Caaaa-sey? Deee-rrr-ek?"

There was a rustling sound and I look over to Lizzie's bed to see her eyes fluttering open.

"Derek! Look! She's awake!" I said as even more tears developed in my eyes.

He turned away from me and leaned over to press the nurse button, and then he turned and looked at Lizzie.

She looked so little laying in the bed. Her eyes fully opened by the time the grey headed nurse walked in. She walked over to the bed looked at all of the machines hooked up to her and she paged the doctor. Doctor Sutton walked in shortly after moving towards Lizzie.

"Well hello miss Lizzie, it's nice of you to join us" He said with a big smile across his face.

He pulled out a flashlight, "Can you follow the light?" he asked her. He flashed it across her eyes and her eyes followed it.

"Can you tell me your name?" he asked next.

"Lizzie McDonald."

"Ok, how old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"Do you know why you are here?"

"Umm… I remember being in the car, it was raining really hard. I was talking to Edwin, and then there was a bright light… and I don't remember anything else" She said looking at me and Derek like we had grown three heads.

I was crying uncontrollably and Derek was holding me as tight as he could. _She doesn't know what happened. She doesn't know that are family is no longer with us. She is the only survivor._

"What happened? Where is everyone?" she asked looking around for the rest of the family.

"Lizzie, there was an accident," Doctor Sutton started, "That bright light was a car's headlights. That car hit your van…" he let the sentence go.

"Wait, what are you saying?" she said her breathing picking up, "Casey where is Edwin?" she said with pain in her voice._ Why was she asking for Edwin and not mom?_

"Liz, you were the only one that made it…" Derek said deeply like he was trying to hold his emotion back. He was clutching me in his arms trying to get me to calm down for Lizzie's sake.

"What?"

"They didn't make it." Doctor Sutton said trying to help.

"No, no, no, NO!" Lizzie screamed, "Where is Edwin! I want to see Edwin!"

She started to try and get up and Doctor Sutton pushed her back down. "You must stay in bed Lizzie."

"No! I need to see Edwin!" She screamed even louder.

Doctor Sutton couldn't hold her. "Nurse call!" he yelled.

The nurse ran out of the room and came back a few moments later with a man carrying a needle full of some white liquid. I leaned into Derek for support and he moved us to the opposite side of the room from the bed. My baby sister was about to be sedated. I quickly forced my face into Derek's shirt and covered my ears. He wrapped me in his arms in a protective way, like he was shielding me from the pain, but I could still hear Lizzie screaming out for Edwin.

I pushed my hands harder into my ears, and I could still hear. Then it got quieter to the point where I couldn't hear anything. Derek loosened his grip on me and slowly rubbing my back as a sign that it was over. I pulled my hands away from my ears and pulled away a little from Derek, but he still held on to me. I looked at my sister lying asleep in her bed. Her face was a little red and she didn't look peaceful in her slumber. Then I looked towards Doctor Sutton. His hair was in disarray and he was smoothing out his shirt.

"The sedative should keep her asleep for a couple of hours. Maybe since we told her she might wake up and not have the same reaction. Then again… I will be in here in a couple of hours to check on her." and with that he walked out of the room with the rest of the people that had came to assist.

I turned to Derek and he looked like he had aged ten years since what just happened.

"Derek… I'm scared."

"I am too Casey." He said as he led us back to the bedside. This time instead of us each taking a side of the bed he sat down in the chair and placed me on his lap. He securely wrapped his arm around my waist and held Lizzie's hand with the other. I wrapped one arm around his neck and place my other hand on top of his and Lizzie's. We sat there for a long while just looking between each other and Lizzie until Derek broke the silence.

"Why do you think she wanted to see Ed so bad?"

"I don't know." I said as I looked down at my baby sister.

"Do you think...?" he didn't finish his sentence, but I knew what he was thinking.

"Do you think that too?" I said looking into his chocolate brown eyes.

"Maybe they thought it was weird and thought that we would judge them?" he said questionably.

"But if they were together they would have told us, wouldn't they?"

"I don't know, but that's what I pieced out of this incident." He said looking back down at Lizzie. "Do you think they loved each other?"

"If they were together, I'm sure they did." I said as tears bubbled out of my eyes.

_What if Lizzie and Ed were together? What if they loved each other? Now he is gone and has left my sister hurt with me and his brother trying to hold ourselves together even though we are slowly slipping. I hope we can just make it through the night._

I could feel my eyes slowly drooping, but I had to stay awake incase Lizzie woke up again. Derek apparently took notice that I was swaying back and forth on his lap trying to stay awake.

"Case."

"Hmmm?" I said trying to wake myself up.

"Why don't you go lay on the couch over there?" he said pointing to the little mint green couch on the other side of the room.

"But what if-f-f Liz-z-z-ie wakes up?" I said slurring my words.

"I will wake you up at the first sign of her waking up. Please go sleep. For me?" He said holding my gaze.

"Ok" But I didn't move.

Derek shifted me in his arms and picked me up. He walked me over to the little couch and carefully put me down. He picked up one of the extra blankets laying on the end of Lizzie's bed and threw it over me. Then he leaned down, and right as he pressed his lips to my forehead, I fell into unconsciousness.

_**The whole family was sitting outside in the backyard with happy, smiling faces**_**. **_**George was cooking on the grill, mom was helping him put out the fire he caused, Derek was holding Marti in the air swinging her around above his head, and Edwin and Lizzie were sitting in the grass holding hands. 'Everything is perfect'**__**I thought to myself, but I thought to soon.**_

_**I look over at my mom and George and saw that scratches and blood bloom across their skin, then they faded way in the wind. I look over at Lizzie and Ed and see that the same thing is happening to them, except Lizzie was left sitting by herself covered in scars, tears rolling down her face mixing with the blood. As I went over to comfort her I looked over at Derek and Marti. She slowly evaporated out of Derek's cradled arms and he fell to the ground, sobs shaking his whole frame.**_

_**Lizzie soon faded out of my arms and I started to run towards Derek, but I wasn't moving. Rain started to pummel me when I saw a bright light out of the corner of my eye. It was a car headed right for Derek. **_

"_**DEREK!" **_

"Casey, wake up."

I woke up to Derek shaking my shoulders telling me to wake up.

My eyes focused on his face and tears welled up in my eyes. I threw my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. He automatically wound his arms around me and rubbed circles into my back.

"What's wrong?"

"I dreamt that everyone d-d-died. And I w-w-was running towards y-y-you. Th-then a c-c-c-car ran o-over you! Oh Derek!" I sobbed not making any sense at all.

"Shhhh Case, it's ok. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He said trying to calm me.

He sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap and rocked me back and forth until I stopped crying. Once I had finally stopped he pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked as he pushed some of my hair away from my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said practically lying through my teeth. He took notice and gave me a weird look but dismissed it just a fast.

"Lizzie is awake." He said looking over to the bed.

I looked at her and almost broke down again. Lizzie was curled up in a ball on the bed crying her eyes out. I got up and walked over to her with Derek's hand holding mine. I put my hand on her shoulder and she flinched away from me.

"Lizzie?" she didn't reply. "Lizzie, please look at me."

She turned her head towards me and stared me straight in the eyes. Her eyes were red and puffy, I couldn't take it.

"What do you want Casey?" she asked.

"Tell me what happened. What happened between you and Edwin?"

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**Ok, I know this chapter was totally weird. Now don't start throwing rotten food my way before I can explain myself!**

**I know what you are thinking:  
**_Lizzie woke up too alert for just coming out of a coma. _**-I had to make Lizzie more alert to actually move along with the storey  
**_Derek doesn't seem too upset._**_ -_I haven't gotten into Derek's feelings really. Do you think I should do some of the story in his POV?  
**_Casey is crying over stupid stuff. _**-I can't think of anything else for her to be doing... Her family just died  
**_Casey really isn't upset at the begining when she thinks about ther mom._** -She is upset but she's thinking more about how Derek feels  
**_This chapter is terrible. _**-I know, I know...**

**I have no idea how to explain the whole Lizzie/Edwin thing, so I would be very apreciative if you had any ideas to PM me:)) I will credit you for your ideas of course!  
****If you didn't totally give up on me for this chapter I would really love to hear what you think:))) Thanks for listening to me drone on... **


	3. Home Will Never Be Home

**Hello:)) Here is the next chapter! Yay! I have decided to do 2 chapters from each POV, so the last two were Casey's and this one and the next are from Derek's. It is a little weird writing for Derek's point of view for me, so I hope you enjoy this chapter even though there may be a few awkward parts.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned LWD, but sadly I don't :'( I also wish I owned Michael Seater:)**

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How can she expect Lizzie to talk about that after finding out that Ed, and the rest of our family, is forever gone? Sure I want to know too, but she should have waited. Lizzie doesn't look like she is going to be saying anything soon.

"Lizzie please just tell me." Casey begged her little sister.

Lizzie didn't reply. After the third or fourth time of Casey asking she just stopped answering. Casey has been trying to get her to talk for hours but she refuses to answer any of her questions. I pulled on Casey's sleeve and tried to get her to look at me.

"What Derek? I'm trying to understand what she is going through" she said as she ripped my hand away from the sleeve of her shirt and turned back to Lizzie.

"Casey," I said as I pulled her by the arm this time, "stop asking. She doesn't want to talk about it. She just lost Ed, and the rest of the family just like us, so please give it a rest."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and my heart broke even more. It felt like my heart had been ripped out, stomped on, smashed with a hammer, and then stuck back in my body after Casey got the phone call that changed our lives. Seeing those tears well up in her eyes made me want to rip it out myself from all of the pain.

"Case, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I ask as I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her.

Usually I get really uncomfortable around girls crying and usually I run away at the first sign of it, but this was different. Casey and Lizzie need me. They need me to be here for them and keep them safe because now there is no one else to do it. I have to be here right now to comfort Casey. And I think I need her too.

"I know Derek. I-I-I just can't do this. We're o-only eighteen." She sobbed into my chest.

"Casey," I said as I pulled her away from my chest to look into her eyes, "we're going to make it through this. We have each other and we have Lizzie, we will make it. We have to." I whispered the last part as I pulled her back into my chest.

Soon she finally calmed down and she left my arms and went to sit by Lizzie.

"Liz I'm sorry for earlier. I just wanted to understand what you were going through so maybe I could get my mind off of what has happened and try to help you. I didn't realize what I was doing and I'm sorry for that."

"It's ok Casey" was all that Lizzie replied with before she rolled over and fell asleep.

Casey and I just sat there the rest of the night, well actually it was the rest of the morning now. All I could do was think about my family. I kept imaging the scene.

_Dad and Nora sitting in the front, dad holding one of Nora's hands over the armrest, Marti sitting in her booster seat singing about princesses and playing with her favorite Barbie, Ed sitting beside her turned around talking to Lizzie, who is sitting in the very back of the van. _

_Dad notices that the rain is coming down really hard and tries to get to the nearest pit stop so they can get out and find something to eat. Then he hears Nora scream. He turns his head to see a bright light coming towards him and tries to go faster to get away, but he's too slow._

I couldn't think any farther than that. Tears started flowing freely and I put my face in my hands trying to pull myself together. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I assumed it was going to be Casey's, but when I looked up I saw that it was Lizzie's little scared hand. I looked around and noticed that Casey wasn't even in the room. Lizzie didn't say anything and neither did I, we just sat there looking at each other with tears in our eyes. Her hazel eyes held so much pain it killed me, but I couldn't look away from them. _I don't know how we are going to make it._

Dr. Sutton came in and made us turn our attention to him.

"Hello Lizzie, Derek. How are you feeling today?" he asked with a smile on his face.

"I feel fine," she answered with no inflection, "when do I get to go home?"

_Home_. It wasn't going to be _home_ anymore. Dad and Nora wouldn't be there running around trying to get everybody where they needed to be, Ed wouldn't be sneaking around with Lizzie, and Marti wouldn't be begging me to play dress up with her. _Smarti…_

"Well it seems like you can go home very soon, but we would like you to stay a few more days so we can make sure everything is ok. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." She answered.

With that Dr. Sutton left the room and Casey walked back in from wherever she had been.

"Hey, I brought you guys sandwiches, for lunch, from the cafeteria," she said as she placed the food on the table sitting next to Lizzie's bed, "Did the doctor say anything?"

"Yeah, he said that we can take Lizzie home in a couple of days" I said picking up the sandwich and taking a bite. I wasn't hungry, but I knew I needed to eat something.

"Oh that's great!" Casey said as she sat in the other chair next to Lizzie, "We should go home, try to clean up and get everything in order Derek."

"Yeah we should." Casey meant more than just getting everything in the house situated.

She meant call the family and tell them the news, call the funeral home and get everything planned, call Dad and Nora's lawyer and get a reading of the will, get the house ready for Lizzie to come home, and then prepare ourselves for identifying our family at the morgue.

"Do you want to go get started Derek?"

"Sure," I turned to Lizzie, "Are you going to be ok if we leave to go get the house ready for when you come home?"

"Yeah I'll be fine."

"Ok, we'll be back in a few hours." I said, and then I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"See you in a little bit." Casey said as she kissed her on the cheek.

As I reached for the door handle Lizzie said, "Drive careful Derek."

My breath caught in my throat and I felt tears prick my eyes. I nodded my head and walked out the door. Casey walked up beside me and grabbed my hand as we walked down the hallways of the ICU. Every room had lights on and people were visiting, but there was one room that was different. I paused in front of it.

A little body laid in the bed, and it was bandaged from head to toe with white gauze. All of the lights were off, the blinds had been pulled down and covered with blankets so no light penetrated the room. There was no sound coming from the room except the faint sound of the heart monitors and the breathing machines that were hooked up to the body.

"Just to think, Lizzie could be like that." I said looking into the room.

"I know." Casey replied.

"Come on, we've got a lot to do." I said as I tugged her arm and we walked down the hallway.

We got out of the hospital and got in my truck. We drove home in silence, not even turning on the radio. All I could think about was that little person lying in the hospital bed. Soon we were in the driveway and neither of us attempted to move. We sat in the truck for what felt like hours before we finally got out and started walking up to the door.

"Derek, I can't do this. I'm not ready." Casey said as fresh tears rolled down her face.

"It's going to be ok Case, we can do this." I said as I took her hand in mine and put my house key into the lock.I twisted the knob and pushed the door open.

The house looked as if the family was going to pop out and say "Got'ch ya!" but we both knew that wasn't going to happen. As we walked into the living room I could hear Casey whimper beside me and I felt tears sting my eyes. Edwin's hockey stick was laying on the couch with one of Marti's pink princess gowns on top of it. I had tried to get Ed interested in hockey, but he just played to make me proud. I walked a little farther and almost tripped and fell over Lizzie's soccer ball. Casey walked over to the couch and picked up Marti's dress and cradled it in her arms.

"Derek…" her voice trailed off.

"Yeah Casey?" I asked not taking my eyes away from the mess that the house was. Usually it was comforting, but now it will only bring pain to my heart.

"They're n-n-not c-coming b-b-back." She said as she crumpled to the floor sobbing.

She sat there rocking back and forth holding on to Marti's dress for dear life. She was falling apart right in front of my eyes, and all I could think about was the fact that I wanted to curl up and die myself. But I couldn't be thinking like this, Casey and Lizzie need me.

"Case," I said as I knelt down beside her, "It's going to be ok." I said as I rubbed circles on her back.

"No it's not Derek! We can't do this. We're just kids!" she yelled at me. After her outburst she curled back up and sobbed.

I picked her up and carried her bridle style and moved her into my chair. I sat there and waited for her to calm down to where I could talk to her. She finally hiccupped herself calm and looked at me with her big blue eyes. I could see everything through her eyes. The pain, the suffering, the happiness were all laying in her clear blue eyes.

"I'm sorry Derek, I didn't mean to lose it like that. I've been keeping it all in to stay strong for Lizzie. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I understand."

"No it's not Derek. I need to learn how to control my emotions. Isn't that what you're always telling me?" she asked looking into my eyes.

"Yeah, but this is different. This isn't me playing a prank on you, this isn't you being dumped by your boyfriend, its ok this time. It's not good for you to keep your feelings to yourself in this situation. I never cry, but you have seen me breakdown multiple times since last night, and I have realized it's good to let it out."

"Thank you Derek." She said as she held Marti's dress closer to her.

We sat there for a few minutes taking everything in; the room, the smell, the pictures hanging on the wall, everything in sight. Then Casey spoke up.

"Did you sit me in your chair?" she asked with a quizzical look on her face.

"Well, are you sitting in it?" I said retorting back.

"Well yeah, but I would have never expected you to put me down in _your chair._"

"Then it's your lucky day Princess." I said trying to smile. I'm not sure if I pulled it off well, but she smiled a small smile back at me.

"Do you think we should get started?"

"Yeah, I guess we better" she replied.

She decided that I would call my side of the family while she talked to the funeral home on her cell. I went to the kitchen and got dad's address book and walked up to the phone. This is going to be hard. I hadn't even said it to myself that my family was… was no longer with us. I opened the book to my Uncle Matt's number; he should be the first to know. Both of my grandparents are deceased so he is the next in line of my closest family. I dialed the number and listened to the ringback tone until he answered.

"Matthew Venturi here."

"Hey Uncle Matt, it's me Derek."

"Oh hey Derek! How's it going? How's your dad? I haven't heard from him in like two weeks."

"Umm… that's why I'm calling. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but…"

"Spit it out Derek"

"Dad i-i-is dead!" I cried into the phone.

"What? What happened? Derek?"

"…" I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. Sobs choked my throat and I couldn't talk.

"Derek, I need you to tell me what happened." Matt said sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

"It was r-r-raining, a-another c-c-car, they collided, only L-L-Lizzie made it." I cried into the phone not making any sense.

"D-D-Derek, is th-there anything I n-need to d-d-do?"

"No," I said pulling myself together, "Me and C-Casey are working on everything. Sh-she is on the phone right now with the funeral home g-getting everything arranged."

"Ok, I-I-I'll be there in a f-f-few days."

"Sounds good."

"I'll s-s-see you in a f-f-few days."

"Bye."

"B-bye D."

I hung up the phone and put my face in my hands. I stood there trying to compose myself when I felt Casey's hands on my back. She rubbed soothing circles into my back and it helped me get myself together. I turned around and looked at her.

"I called the funeral home and got an appointment to go and get everything set up. We're going to go tomorrow at three-thirty"

"That sounds good. I just called my Uncle Matt, he's going to be down here in a couple of days."

"That's good. How did he take it?"

"Much like we did, but I think he tried to keep it together for me."

"Oh, well I'll go call the hospital and check on Lizzie and get an appointment for us to go confirm the bodies…" she said as small tears rolled down her cheeks.

I lifted my hand to her face and whipped them from her face gentle. Her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink and she walked away dialing the hospital number on her phone.

I turned back to the counter and flipped through pages of the address book.

"This is going to be a long day…"

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**Ok, in my oppinion I think this is a very awkward, fast moving, choppy chapter... I think it's terrible, but I was having awful writers block and I couldn't come up with anything, so I tried to push through it and came up with this chapter. I hope who ever is reading this doesn't give up on me just because of this chapter. And if you are reading I would really appreciate it if you would review. When you review it helps me understand if you like it, if you hate it, or if I need to do anything different. Reviews give me the extra little push I need to write, and it makes me super happy when I see that someone has reviewed my story:)**

**I have no earthly idea when the next time I'm going to update is. School starts back tomorrow, and I have to work on my drivers ed stuff:P So I will try my hardest to get another chapter up by next week!**

**Thank you to every one who has read and/or reviewed:))**


	4. How Can This Be Possible?

**Hello:) Here is chapter 4! I really think you are going to like this chapter (or I hope you do anyways) This chapter is longer than the other chapters and maybe a little more confusing. When I read it, it makes perfect sense to me, but if you get lost or have any questions feel free to ask:) I also know that both Derek and Casey are both OCC in this story, but they aren't supposed to be. This is fiction, so please don't burn me for changing them up a little! Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. This story is somehow special to me. I have no idea why, but it makes me feel like a proud parent when somebody reviews on it. I know you're thinking _this girl is a total loser,_ but oh well:) Thanks for listening to me drone on...:))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD, but Michael Seater is all mine! Muahahahahaha! ;D**

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The rest of the phone calls were pretty much the same as the first call to Uncle Matt. Everyone said _"What? Derek are you sure?" "Derek quite messing around" "Do you need me to come down to your house?" "How could this have happened" _and more that I can't even remember. After about the fifth call they all started blurring together.

I called my mom right after my uncle. I wasn't going to call her at first because I was sure she really didn't care, but I did anyways. She was upset, but not the way a true mother should be. She cried, but kept it composed like always, never showing emotion. She said she might make it down for the funeral, she "_wasn't sure yet."_ After talking to her I was happy that I never had to see her again.

Casey checked on Lizzie and set the time for us to go and confirm the bodies, _to_ _confirm_ _our family._ It was set for us to be back at the hospital around four-forty-five. Right now its three-fifty-seven and I am dreading every minute until we have to go back to the hospital. I don't want to go.

I would suggest for Casey to go by herself, but I know deep down that she wouldn't even be able to walk through the doors without me by her side. So there is no choice. I have to go with her.

We finished picking up the house, not daring to go into my dad and Nora's room, Edwin's, or Marti's. I could barely walk past their doors without having a tear escape my eye. Lizzie's room was now picked up, and so was the living room. Casey called her side of the family, with a little help from me every once in a while when she wasn't able to get the words out. Now Casey and I sat in the living room waiting for when we would have to leave.

Now the clock read _4:00pm _and Casey started to get up.

"I told Lizzie we would go back to her room before we went to… our appointment." She said with slight hesitation.

"Oh, ok. Well then I guess we should go ahead and go." I said as I got out of my chair, walked to the coat rack, and grabbed my leather jacket. My keys were in the pocket and I jingled them around.

We stood at the doorway for a few minutes just looking at each other in silence until she broke it.

"Derek, are you scared?" she asked in such a quite whisper I barely heard her.

"Yes. I'm terrified." I said trying to stay strong for her.

"Me too."

With that I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and hugged her. It took her a while to respond; probably thinking _Why is Derek hugging me? This is not like Derek_, but she finally reacted and hugged me back.

After we pulled apart, she grabbed my hand and we walked out the door.

I know that I, _The Derek Venturi_, is not usually the touchy-touchy kind of guy, especially with Casey, but this was different. We need each other. The only other person we have besides ourselves is Lizzie, and we need to be here for each other. I have to become the man of the house now and keep everything together. I need to keep Casey together. If she breaks down on me, then that might be my breaking point. I can't do this by myself.

We got in the car and started driving to the hospital. We pulled up into the parking lot and I had to circle around a couple of times before I found a close enough parking space to where we didn't have to walk very far. As we got out I felt my stomach drop and I felt like I was going to heave up that little bit of sandwich I had at lunch. I looked over at Casey and she had lost the little bit of color that splashed her face and she paled in a horrible way. She didn't move. She stood right beside the door of the car and didn't as much as blink. I walked over and stood in front of her.

"Case?"

"What Derek?"

"Are we going to go see Liz?"

"Oh, yeah. Let's go." she said as she grabbed my hand and practically dragged my behind her.

We made it up to the ICU floor and walked down the hallway that led to Lizzie's room. As we walked pass the room that held the little body all bandaged up in the dark my heart twisted. What I would give for my family members, even if just one of them, to be laying in that bed like that. I would give everything and anything. We walked pass the room and walked into Lizzie's room.

She was laying there in the bed looking out the window with one small tear rolling down her cheek. She was in pain. I'm not sure if it's at all physical, but I know it's emotional. She has been robbed of her childhood. She will never be as happy as she could have been. She might have to grow up fast than she thought. Casey and I have to grow up and take on responsibility that we didn't think we would have to take on until we got a little bit older, but our lives have been thrown for a loop.

"Hey Liz!" Casey said with a big smile on her face. Her acting has improved.

"Hi Casey, Derek." She said dully. She didn't even tare her eyes away from the window.

"Has Dr. Sutton come in and said anything while we were gone?" Casey asked trying to get Lizzie to talk a little more.

"Yeah, he said that I have improved so much that he sees no reason for me to stay longer. I should be able to go home tomorrow." She said with no emotion. She's going to be like this for a while.

She is no longer going to be the funny, always laughing, playing around Lizzie we know. She's been changed by this, and there is no way she can go back. There is no way any of us can go back.

"Oh that's wonderful news! Isn't it Derek?" Casey said turning around to look at me.

"It sure is." I said trying to pull my mouth into a small smile. "We have everything set up at home for you in your room, now we just have to wait till tomorrow."

"I don't want to sleep in my room." Lizzie said indifferently.

"Well where do you want to sleep?" Casey asked looking completely confused. "Do you want to go live with dad?"

"No Casey, I don't want to live with dad. I want to sleep in Edwin's room."

Casey and I just stood there with our jaws hanging open.

"You what?" I asked with a tone that I didn't have control over.

"I want to sleep in Ed's room."

I could feel tears well up in my eyes, and I knew I had to get out of there before I said something that would hurt Lizzie. I ran out of the door and leaned up against the wall. I let the tears fall down my eye as I slowly sunk to the floor. I could hear Casey talking to Lizzie, but it was muffled to where I couldn't make out what she was saying. The next thing I knew Casey was kneeling down beside me.

"What's wrong Derek?"

"_What's wrong? What's wrong!_ Casey, you know what the hell is wrong! She wants to sleep in Ed's room. I haven't even been in there! She can't Casey! I won't let her!" I let all of my anger out and yelled it at her.

She sat there and said nothing as I got up and started to pace. How could Lizzie ask this, demand it? How could I let her sleep in Ed's room? Knowing Casey she probably told her _"Why, yes Lizzie. Anything that helps you feel better." _I can't believe this is happening! I looked up at the clock on the wall in front of me. _4:41pm._ We have to go to the morgue in less than four minutes. Could it get any worse?

"Derek, I know you don't want Lizzie to sleep in Edwin's room, but-"

"It's ok. I guess I can't stop her anyways." I cut her off.

"Are you sure Derek? Because I can try to talk her out of it."

"It's fine Casey. We better be getting to our… appointment." I said changing the subject, even though I was dreading this alternative.

"Oh, yeah, I guess we should. Let me go tell Lizzie we will be back in a little bit." She said as she walked back into Lizzie's room.

I waited outside of the door not wanting to go back and face Lizzie after how I acted. Casey came back out and looked me in the eyes, tears filling up her eyes.

"Are you ready?" she practically whispered.

"No. But we have to get this over sooner or later." I said taking her hand in mine and started to walk down the hall.

As we walked I realized I had become accustomed to grabbing Casey when I felt like I couldn't go on any longer. She calmed me down when I felt like I was slowly being torn apart, and I don't know why. Even though we were about to walk into a room that held the bodies of my deceased family, I felt a little stronger because I had Casey's hand in mine. We are in this together.

The big metal doors of the morgue came into view. I could feel my stomach twist and I felt Casey tense up beside me. I am terrified to death, but I have to do this. We have to confirm the bodies; there is no getting around it.

We walked through the doors and we met a man standing there waiting for us.

"Hello, my name is Christopher Fletcher, you can call me Chris for short. You must be," he said as he flipped through some papers, "Casey McDonald and Derek Venturi?"

"Yes, th-that is us-s-s"

"Yes, then. I am so sorry for you loss. Please come this way." He said as he walked off wanting us to follow.

I felt Casey shudder and looked down at her. Tears filled her eyes and her face had lost all of its color. Her hand grabbed mine a little harder and I answered it by squeezing hers a little more. I hope we make it through this.

Chris stopped in front of a bunch of silver drawers. He pulled out one and pulled back the blanket that covered my dad. My stomach lurched and I felt hot tears start to rapidly run down my face. Casey turned her head into my chest and I pulled her into my arms trying to protect her from the sight of the man laying in front of me.

You could tell he was my father but he was distorted. The whole left side of his body was mangled. Cuts, scars, and black bruises covered his face and shoulder. Flesh on his shoulder was missing and I almost fainted at the sight of him. How could this be my dad? He was suppose to see me off to college next week, come be the proud father at my games when I go pro, watch me as I walked down the aisle with my bride, and watch my children grow up. But now looking down at him it hit me that he would never be able to do anything for me ever again.

I looked down at the top of Casey's head and it looked as if she was trying to burry herself in my chest to hide from all of this. If that were possible I would let her, but we have been thrown out into the water without a paddle. I pulled her closer to me, looked at Chris and nodded my head. He pulled the sheet back over his head and rolled him back into the wall. As he did so I felt a part of my heart go numb with pain. He pulled the handle on the next door and pulled the blanket down. I gasped and Casey peaked out her head from my chest and put her hand over her mouth.

It was Ed. He was barely recognizable. There was a big, red gash that extended from the right side of his face, went diagonally down his face into his neck and chest, and ended on his stomach. There were other cuts that surrounded it and pieces of flesh were nicked off of his chest. I nodded as I let out a sob letting Chris know he was my baby brother laying there.

"The EMT said that he was in the back seat when they found him, but your sister said that he was sitting in the middle row of seats," Chris said, "The doctors and police think that he unbuckled and threw himself over her. That's why he is so banged up. They said that the back window crashed in and the glass went through his chest."

Of course, Ed saved Lizzie. That's how she survived while the others didn't. Does Lizzie know that he saved her? Did she see what happened? I wish she would talk to us about all of this. Me and Casey are just floating out here with no answers besides the ones that the doctors and polices are trying to gather from nothing.

Casey is shaking uncontrollably by this point. I tried to hold her closer to calm her down but she couldn't stop shaking from the sobs that wracked her body. I looked back down at Ed and my heart again felt like it was going numb from the pain I was feeling.

Tears rolled freely down my face as I looked in to the pale, scared face of my baby brother. He always wanted to make me proud, and I don't think I ever gave him enough praise for all of the things he did that made me proud. He wanted to be just like me. He was never going to be able to go to high school and live his life. I was the person he looked up to and I let him down this time. I wasn't there to save him or Marti…

_Smarti._ It just hit me that I would have to confirm her body too. I won't be able to look at my baby sister laying there; I may lose it right then. She was just six, just barely born and now she is gone.

Chris pulled the sheet back over Ed's face and before he rolled him back in I reached out my hand and rested it on his chest. There was no up and down movement of breathing and I knew there would never be a breath from my brothers lips again. I pulled back my hand and wrapped it around Casey as Chris rolled my baby brother back into the whole in the wall.

Chris reached for another handle and I held my breath. I can't handle it if it's Marti laying on that steal table. He pulled back the sheet and revealed Nora laying there.

Casey pushed me away and she walked up to her mother laying there. She pushed the hair away from Nora's closed eyes and looked up and down at her. Tears rolled off of her face and onto the blanket that covered her mom for the shoulders down. She started to shake and I tried to pull her away, but just as I did she rushed out of the room through the big metal doors.

Nora's body was the least mangled one. The worse thing that I could see was a big cut on her forehead surrounded by a black bruise. There were other cuts and marks, but the one on her forehead over powered those claiming most of her head. Chris looked at me and nodded his head, I nodded back. He pulled the blanket over Nora's head and pushed her back into the wall.

I felt more tears roll down my cheeks as he pushed my stepmother back into the wall. She was the closest thing to a mother I ever had, and I took that for granted. My mom was a terrible mother and Nora always tried to act like the mother figure to me but I just pushed her away. For some reason I could never accept her as my mother. I was probably so messed up from my real mom that I just couldn't accept her. Now I would give anything to have her here so I could tell her she was the best mom I had. But it's too late now.

Casey came back through the doors and ran into my open arms. I pulled her in close and kissed the top of her head. She whipped her tears on my shirt and looked up at me.

"Are you ok Case?"

"Yeah, I'm b-b-better now that my s-stomach is emp-pty."

My face paled and I squeezed Casey tighter. She was starting to make herself physically sick, and there was nothing I could do except try to hold her tighter.

"Are you ok Ms. McDonald?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." She said as she nodded her head at him.

"Ok. That seems to be all we need here. You will need to provide cloth-"

"Wait. Hold on." I interrupted him. "You haven't showed us all of the bodies."

"Yes I have Mr. Venturi."

"Call me Derek." I said correcting him. "And no you haven't. There are supposed to be four bodies, not three…"

"Well they only extracted four bodies from the vehicle and one of them was your sister that is in ICU."

Casey looked up at me and then we both looked back at him saying in unison, "What?"

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**Yay! My first cliffhanger! :) I am so proud of this chapter and I hope you really liked it. I was going to do the next two chapters in Lizzie's point of view, but now after I have done this I am going to have to put it off. I'm not sure if I should finish out this delema in Derek's POV or Casey's? Please review or PM me and give me your thoughts on this, because I'm kind of leaning finishing this part in Casey's... Please, if you may, press the cute little review button under this:))**

**P.s. I am going to try to upload every saturday or so, but maybe if you leave lots of reviews the _upload-fairy_ might help upload sooner;)**


	5. Escaping Reality

**Two chapters in one weeks time!:) Yay me! Since I didn't have to go to school today, I just sat around my room writing this new chapter! This chapter is longer than the last one and I am so proud! Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, you guys are keeping this story going:) I hope you like this, and I would like to know how you are feeling about the story:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD or Secondhand Serenade. I hope to own Michael Seater one day;)**

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"_Well they only extracted four bodies from the vehicle and one of them was your sister that is in ICU."_

_Casey looked up at me and then we both looked back at him saying in unison, "What?"_

"They only pu-"

"I understand that!" Derek yelled at Chris. "But there were supposed to be five bodies, my dad's, step-mom's, brother's, step-sister's, and my baby sisters!" He said, his words slurring because he was so hysteric.

"Well there was only four…" Chris said utterly confused.

I just sat there like a deer in headlights. The whole time we had been standing in the morgue I have been dreading looking at Marti's little body laying on one of those steal tables. I kept imagining how Derek would respond. I kept trying to brace myself to be the stronger one, but after seeing my mom I lost it. I could feel myself losing the contents of my stomach, bolted out the big metal doors, and ran to the nearest restroom. I flung my head over the white toilet and dry-heaved since I absolutely had nothing in my stomach; I hadn't eaten since the night of the accident. I sat and sobbed on the floor for a few minutes, and then recomposed myself to renter the morgue to be there for Derek. Now I am standing here dumbfounded.

I look over at Derek and his eyes are almost bulging out of his head. He pulls his hands up to his face, rubs his eyes, and then runs them through his hair. He looked as if he was losing his mind. _Oh no, Derek you can't leave me to be the strong one. _I thought to myself.

"B-but that's n-not p-p-possible." I finally sputtered out. "M-Marti was w-w-with them. I know she w-was."

"Well I will go talk to the EMTs that extracted the bodies and maybe they can shed some light onto this situation." Chris said as he flipped through some papers making sure he didn't make a mistake. "I will contact you as soon as I know." And with that he walked out the big metal doors.

Derek turned to me and I looked as if he was literally being torn apart. His eyes were rimmed with red and black from the lack of sleep and from the tears he has cried. It looked as if he had aged at least twenty years from us sitting across from each other in the diner, and as I looked at his face up and down I felt tears gather in my eyes.

"C-Case…" he said barely whispering.

"Yes Derek?"

"What does this mean?" he asked as tears filled his chocolate, brown eyes, "Is this some cruel prank the universe is playing on us? Am I being punished for being mean to you all of these years?" He asked as he slowly lost control of his emotions.

"No Derek. You are not being punished for anything. This just means that there is hope that Marti is still out there somewhere." I said as I raised my hand and wiped the tears on his cheeks.

"I w-w-was supposed to p-protect her Casey. I was her older b-brother, I was the one to look under her bed for m-monsters, to play tea-party with her, to t-t-teach her to hold her ground, but I couldn't p-p-protect her from d-d-death." He said as he gave into his emotions and fell to the ground submersing himself in his tears.

I move on reaction, fell to the ground, and wrapped my arms around him trying to keep him together. We sat there for what felt like hours just crying. Then Derek just suddenly stopped crying and stood up leaving me on the floor still sobbing. I looked up at him and he stretched his arm out to me to help me up. I took his hand and stood up.

"Let's go see Lizzie." He said as he wiped away the stray tears that ran down my face.

"Ok." I said blankly as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we walked out of the morgue's big metal doors.

We walked through the hallways going back to Lizzie's room. We passed a million doors that held families laughing and talking, just being happy that who was ever in the hospital bed was alive. I tried my hardest to keep my tears in because Derek, Lizzie, and I could never be like that. All of our family is dead, and Marti is missing. We don't know if she is alive or if her little body is laying on the side of the road somewhere. We were a messed up family that is missing pieces of us that will never be replaced, we would never be able to be like these families that fill these halls.

We passed the room that held the little body that Derek usually stopped at to look through the window at, but this time he didn't stop to look. He walked right past it without a second glance. We walked into Lizzie's room, and she was just where I left her; she hadn't moved an inch. I left her with my ipod and she had the earbuds in her ears so she didn't hear us enter; not that she would have looked up at us anyways. Derek let go of me and I walked to one side of the bed while he walked over to the other. The bed was abnormally big for Lizzie, so when Derek and I laid on either side of her we weren't falling off the sides. Both of us wrapped our arms around Lizzie to where we were holding onto each other's hand and just laid there sobbing. Lizzie just sat there unemotional, maybe one tear escaping her eye.

I could hear the music blaring from the ipod in Lizzie's ears. It was _Stay Close, Don't Go_ by Secondhand Serenade. Lizzie is the type of person that listens to music that matches her mood. As I listened to the words in the song, I realized what was happening. She was shutting down because she loved Edwin. Sure Derek and I had our speculations, but we just thought it was a crush, but since the accident I have realized it must have been something more. As I came to this realization I shut my eyes tight, and tightened my grip on Derek and Lizzie, trying not to lose them as I lost myself in my emotions.

_**It was dark. I couldn't see anything, not even my hand right in front of my face. I could hear someone crying but it was so dark I didn't even know where I was. Then the lights flickered, and as they did I saw that I was in the hospital hallway. Then it went dark again, except for a light at the very end of the hall. There was somebody standing under the light… is that Derek?**_

"_**Derek!" I screamed, but he didn't answer.**_

_**I started to run towards him, and this time my feet actually moved. As I got closer I saw that he was holding something in his hands… it was… Marti.**_

"_**Derek! You found her!" He didn't say anything. He just looked at the little girl in his arms, tears pouring out of his eyes.**_

_**As I got closer I realized why he was crying. Marti was covered in blood. It dripped off of her and pooled around Derek's feet. I put my hand over my mouth and pulled my other hand into my stomach trying to hold myself together. Tears rolled out of my eyes as I look at the little girl craddled in Derek's arms. Then a white light erupted from Marti's body. The blood disappeared off of the floor and Derek stopped crying. After the light faded away, Marti was sitting on Derek's hip looking as healthy as ever. She reached out a little hand a touched my cheek with a worried expression on her face.**_

"_**Are you ok Casey?" She asked.**_

"_**Yes Marti, I am wonderful." I said as I embraced her and Derek in my arms.**_

I woke up to somebody playing with my hair. I opened my eyes a fraction of an inch and saw that I was laying on top of Derek._ How did I get here?_ He was looking off into space, playing with a lock of my hair absentmindedly. The rise and fall of his chest underneath my head was comforting and made me want to go back to sleep, but he took notice that I was awake.

"Good morning Princess" he said with a small smile looking down at me.

"Hey," I rubbed my eyes and looked up into his mesmerizing, chocolate, brown eyes, "What time is it?"

"Well let's see…" he said as he slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone, "It is six-forty-seven a.m."

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked totally confused. The days and the time have blurred and I lost track of both of them.

"I would say about eleven or twelve hours." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"What! Why did you let me sleep that long!" I pounded my fist on his chest.

"Ouch Case! I just thought you needed sleep. You haven't slept in three days."

"Oh, I'm sorry for hitting you, and thank you."

"You're welcome Spacey." He said with a tiny smile wanting to break his face when he used my nickname, but it didn't break to the surface. What I would give to see that smile that made me fall for him.

Then I looked down and again realized where I was. I blushed scarlet red and looked down at my hands that were tracing patterns on his rock-hard chest.

"Umm… how did I end up… here?" I asked not really sure how to word the sentence correctly.

"The doctors needed to take Lizzie for a few more tests before we could take her home, and you were asleep so I just picked you up and moved you to the couch. Em and Sam came to visit, and while I was talking to them you started whimpering and saying my name, so I walked over here to wake you up. Right when my hand touched your arm you stopped whimpering and your body relaxed, so I thought that maybe if I laid down beside you, you might just get some decent sleep. But then I realized that both of us wouldn't fit side by side on this little couch, so I lifted you up and slid underneath you. Sam and Em left, and we have been laying here ever since."

"Oh" was all I could say. I felt like an idiot.

We just sat there and looked into each other's eyes; the river meeting the dirt on the shore. It felt natural to be like this with him. He still had a hold of some of my hair and kept playing with it while I made little circles on his chest with my finger. Laying here made me feel like everything that had happened the past three days didn't seem as bad.

But I shouldn't be feeling this way. I just lost almost my whole family and we have no idea where the smallest Venturi is. _Where are you Marti?_

"Has Chris said anything?" I asked as my hand stopped drawing patterns on his chest.

"He said that he was searching all through the database trying to see if maybe there was a mistake, he said it might take a couple of days. He came in here and asked Lizzie to make sure that she was in the van, and Lizzie said she was. Then we had to tell Lizzie what was happening, and she kind of freaked, but they didn't have to sedate her." He finished a small tear rising up in his left eye.

"I hope he can find her."

"Me too," he said as he pressed my head on to his chest, "me too."

He hugged me into him and I heard the small sobs radiate from his chest, and I buried my face farther into him. Then the doctor rolled Lizzie back into the room in a wheelchair. She looked a little tired, but she looked healthier than she had in the past three days.

"Hello Derek and Casey." Dr. Sutton greeted us as he helped Lizzie get back in her bed.

"Uh… Hello Dr. Sutton." I said as I tried to get off of Derek embarrassed, but Derek only shifted us to where he was sitting up and I was sitting comfortably on his lap.

"Hey Doc. How is our little trooper doing?" Derek asked with a little smirk on his face.

"Well all of the tests went well and after you fill out all of the paperwork you will be able to take her home. I'll have Nurse Jenna bring in the paperwork to you." He said as he got Lizzie situated and then left.

"Isn't that great Liz, we can take you home soon." Derek said as he set me on my feet and held my waist as we walked over to Lizzie's bed.

"It's not home Derek. It's just an empty house." She said as she looked out the window into the rain.

"I know Liz, but we have each other and we are going to make it through this." He said trying to convince her that everything was going to be alright.

Lizzie started to open her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the blonde nurse that walked in the door.

"Sorry to interrupt, but here are the forms you need to fill out to take Lizzie home." She said with a sincere smile.

"Thank you Jenna. Thank you for being such a great nurse for my sister." I said as I took the forms and hugged her.

"Oh you're welcome Casey. Call me if you ever need anything." She said as she hugged me back and then left the room.

I looked over at Lizzie and she had fallen asleep while Jenna came in so I walked back over to the couch, with Derek following me, and started the paperwork. I filled out Lizzie's name, today's date, her birthday, her social security number, and then I paused.

_**Parent/Guardian names**_- what was I suppose to put? I know I should put my mom's, but she isn't with us anymore, so if they ever needed anything they couldn't call for her. We don't know who Lizzie's soul-guardian is; we haven't had a reading of the will. I know my mom probably put me as her guardian, but what if she put my dad. I am not going to let Lizzie go live with that slime-ball, I refuse. I looked up at Derek with a horrified expression.

"Derek, what do I put?"

He grabbed the pen and paper out of my hand and wrote:

_**Parent/Guardian names: **__Derek Venturi , __Casey McDonald _

I looked up at him in awe. He looked back at me and gave me a ghost version of his signature smirk; it didn't reach his eyes. I smiled back and took the pen and papers back to finish.

I finished all of the paperwork using me and Derek and her legal guardians in any situation the question asked for. It took about an hour to finish all of it, and I was mentally exhausted. I wanted just to be laying on this couch again with Derek holding me in his arms, but we had to get everything together to bring Lizzie home. I brought her a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts from home for her to wear and helped her into them. Dr. Sutton came in and gave Derek Lizzie's pain medication and told him the dosage, and brought us a wheelchair. Derek picked up Lizzie and sat her down gently in it. Soon we were wheeling her out to the 1997, rusty red, Chevrolet Silverado 3500; Derek's rusty, trusty truck.

We got her in the car and Derek turned on the car. Just like the last time I was in his truck the scent of him whirled around me and I lost every coherent thought.

The drive home was excruciating for Lizzie, Derek, and me. It was raining and every time the rain came down a little harder or we passed a red light/stop sign Lizzie would let out a cry. I put my hand on her leg trying to calm her, but it didn't keep her from crying out in terror. Soon we were in the driveway and Lizzie gasped.

"Are you ok Liz?" I asked as I turned around to look at her. She looked absolutely terrified.

"Umm… Casey, I'm scared." She gulped.

"It's ok Lizzie. Derek and I are here for you. We're going to help you through this." I said trying to be strong for my baby sister.

"O-ok." She said unsure.

Derek got the stuff from the hospital out and then got Lizzie's wheelchair out and brought it around to her side of the truck. He slowly lifted her, sat her down in the chair, then closed the door of his truck. I walked over to the side of Lizzie's chair and grabbed her little hand, and we made our way to the front door. Derek placed his key in the lock and turned the knob.

Lizzie bolted out of her chair and made her way up the stairs.

"Lizzie! Where are you going?" I yelled at her, but she didn't respond, she just kept going.

"Come on, let's go." Derek said as he tugged on the sleeve of my purple sweater.

I followed him up the stairs and we walked into Lizzie's room first, but she wasn't there.

"Four more guesses of where she is… and I'm pretty sure she's not in the bathroom." Derek said looking wary.

We both knew where she was. She was in Ed's room. I grabbed Derek's hand and we made it to Edwin's room where we saw Lizzie laying on his bed, shaking with tears falling down her face. I looked up at Derek and he looked at me a nodded.

We decided to leave. Lizzie would need time, and we would just be wasting ours trying to consol her. She was going to get through this, but in her own time. That's how Lizzie worked.

Derek and I walked back down the stairs and walked into the kitchen.

"Do you want me to make you some breakfast?" I asked as looked at the time. The digital clock on the stove read _8:26 a.m._

"Sure, could you make me some eggs?" he asked.

"Sure thing."

I got out the pot, the eggs, and some butter. The eggs slowly cooked over the heat, and they smelt wonderful, but I felt sick to mu stomach. I slid them out of the pan onto the plate, sprinkled some salt and pepper on them, and put the plate in front of Derek.

"Aren't you going to eat Case?" he asked, worry seeping into his voice.

"I'm not hungry right now, but I will eat in a little bit." I said as I sat across from him.

"Casey, I need you to eat. I don't need to be bringing you to the hospital because you've became anorexic. Have some of my eggs." He said as he got up with is plate and sat in the chair beside me with the plate in-between us.

"Derek, I'm not going to become anorexic." I said trying to convince him, but the look on his face broke my heart in two, "Ok, I will eat."

He picked up the fork and stacked some eggs on them and moved it towards my mouth. I opened my mouth trying to make him happy and ate the eggs. Then he got some more eggs of the fork and ate some himself. This continued until the plate was clean.

"I think I'm going to go take a shower." He said as he picked up the plate and walked it to the kitchen, "I'll be out in about 15 minutes."

"Ok, that sounds good." I said as I followed.

He walked up to me and hugged me before walking out of the kitchen. A small smile came across my face as I walked over to the fridge. Eating the eggs make me really parched.

I rummaged around looking for something that would quench my thirst when out of the corner of my eye I saw something; half a bottle of whiskey_._

I closed the fridge and went to grab the bottle. I don't really drink except maybe a beer or two at a party, nothing too dangerous, but this was different. It was like the whiskey was calling out to me saying that it could take away this heart ache. My hand absentmindedly unscrewed the top and the bottle met my lips.

It was a weird taste in my mouth, but it glided down my throat smoothly. Soon it was gone and I was craving more. I looked around trying to find another bottle, but there weren't any other bottles. Then it hit me. _The liquor cabinet._

**

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**

Don-don-don! Ok, so I am totally in love with the end of this chapter! It's so not me to write about this kind of stuff, but it sort of just came out of me and I was like, _"Wow! Where did that mess come from!"_

**Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. I know that Lizzie being released from the hospital might have happened a little too fast, but I didn't want to skip ahead like two weeks and be like _"Well it's been two weeks since the accident..."_ and have the story drag out super long. I know that its not accurate, but I would rather do this than write two whole weeks with out Lizzie being there and it just be Casey and Derek. I know, I'm weird.**

**Please read and review. I would like to know how you feel about the pace of the story and if you are liking it. And again thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story and have been leaving possitive reviews:)) iloveyou!**


	6. My Pain Reliever

**Ok, so this is not a new update to everyone who has this story on their alerts, I just have to fix a few things in this chapter that slipped through the cracks (and since I am a perfectionist, I must fix it) sorry to anyone who I got their hopes up:/  
****Thank you to **BrooklynnMae2796** for pointing out the mistake on the bands name, but on my playlist it has the name of the song as _Through the Glass... _hmmm? But I will definitely fix it:)**

**And for those of you who don't really want to read over it to see what I changed, I'm only changing: the name of the song, the name of the band, and I am skimming back on Casey's alcohol intake, cause apparentally she should be in a hospital for how much I gave her... Oops...**

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**Ok, so I am so not happy with the document manager right now... I tried to get the lyrics of the song to be centered, but apparently it doesn't want them to be, and it mess the whole chapter up. So if you see any mistakes with the spacing or the font, please ignore it:( Anyways, here is the next chapter! There are a few things I need to address:**

**1) I have no drinking experince. I tried to use google to help me with this chapter, but google wasn't cooperating. If I accidentally gave Casey too much to drink I am appologizing a head of time.**

**2) I have no idea how a hangover is, and if it seems to get to where Casey doesn't seem like she is having one, I intened for her to be.**

**3) I don't know what Casey's favorite movie is, so I picked my favorite:)**

**4) Thank you to everyone who has been reading/reviewed! Your reviews and encouragement give me the extra push to write this story, and to try to do the best I can:)**

**5) I hope you like this new chapter:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD (I wish I did), nor do I own the song _Through Glass_ or the movie _Quest for Camelot_**

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I took off into the living room towards the liquor cabinet. Derek said he would be down in about fifteen minutes; just enough time. I walked over to the cabinet and stuck my hand behind it, in-between the wall and the backside of the cabinet. I felt around until my hand hit something little and hard and I slid it off of the hook. I pulled my hand back and a tiny, silver key was resting in my palm. I flipped it over in my hand a couple of times and then placed it in the lock. When I turned the key the lock made a clicking sound and I knew I was in. I opened the doors to find five shelves full of liquor of different types. I grabbed the first thing on one of the shelves and came up with a bottle of vodka.

I sat down on the floor and looked at the bottle in my hands. I didn't even think about what I was doing as I opened the bottle and put it up against my lips. The strong taste hit my tongue and I almost spit it out, but I just continued guzzling it. As I poured straight alcohol down my throat tears started rolling down my face. What would mom think if she saw me doing this? What would George think? Edwin? I pushed all of these thoughts to the back of my mind and continued to guzzle the vodka.

After about the fifth swig of vodka, everything started blurring in front of my eyes. I put my hand up to my eyes and they were dry. The tears that were running down my face stopped and I didn't feel the need to cry anymore. A smile spread across my face. I don't feel anything. I can't believe it actually worked.

After my revelation I decided I had had enough for today, knowing I would be back in front of this cabinet tomorrow. I stood up, wobbling a bit, and picked up the key off of the top of the cabinet. I pushed the cabinet doors back together, locked them, and put the key back where it belonged. Reaching down I picked up the bottle laying on the floor and walked clumsily to the kitchen to dispose of it. By the time I threw it into the trash can and covered them up I heard Derek walking down the stairs. After his shower he put on a long sleeved t-shirt, with the sleeve pushed up his arms, and a pair of dark washed blue jeans. His hair was in disarray, as usual, pointing in all different directions, but looked perfect. My heart melted in my chest just looking at him.

"Hey Space-Case." He said as he walked towards me.

What if he smells the alcohol on me? I thought as he got closer and closer.

"Hello Spacey?" he said snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I held my breath and maneuvered away from him, losing my balance and falling into the counter.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah… uh… I'm just… uh… tired. Yeah, tired. I think I'll go up to my room and lay down." I said as I turned to walk out of the door.

"Yell if you need anything." He said and I gave him a thumbs up.

The stairs were tricky. I'm already naturally clumsy, and being drunk didn't help. I slowly took one step at a time, and still managed to trip on about every other one. Soon I was at the top of the stairs and making my way to my room. The doorknob split into four and I took me a while to grab a hold of it. After I got in my room I walked over to my ipod-dock and turned on _Through Glass_ by Stone Sour and drowned myself in the lyrics as I laid on my bed.

__

__

_I'm looking at you through the glass  
Don't know how much time has passed  
Oh God it feels like forever  
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home  
Sitting all alone inside your head_

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass  
Don't know how much time has passed  
All I know is that it feels like forever  
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home  
Sitting all alone inside your head

Nobody knows how I am taking all of this. Derek probably thinks that I have gotten out all of my feelings about the accident and I am on my way to getting over this. But I'm not. I am just as lost as ever, and I don't know how I am going to handle this.

__

How do you feel? That is the question  
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer  
When something like a soul becomes initialized  
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes  
You can't expect a bit of folks

So while you're outside looking in  
Describing what you see  
Remember what you're staring at is me

I'm perfect, grade grubbing, keener Casey. I'm supposed to be the strong one, but I don't think I can handle what's being thrown at me. My whole life has just been ripped away from me. I can't handle this. Everyone expects me to be perfect, never failing, but look at me and what has happened. I will never go back to being that Casey.

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_All I know is that it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

Maybe I should go talk to Paul. I haven't talked to him since I graduated last May because I had finally got comfortable in my skin and came to terms that I was in love with Derek. Paul thought I didn't need any other guidance, and told me that I would do wonderfully in college. But I don't think he expected this to happen. Could he even attempt to help me now?

_How much is real? So much to question_  
_An epidemic of the mannequins, contaminating everything_  
_We thought came from the heart_  
_But never did right from the start_  
_Just listen to the noises_  
_(Null and void instead of voices)_

_Before you tell yourself_  
_It's just a different scene_  
_Remember it's just different from what you've seen_

Derek is probably feeling forced to stay here with us instead of going out and looking for his baby sister. Yesterday I heard him talking on the phone with is coach telling him that he probably would have to quit the team. There was a muffled yelling fit on the other side of the phone, and then Derek started telling the coach what happened. I heard a muffled "I'm sorry" and a "Were going to miss having you on the team. Call if you change your mind." Derek was giving up his career to stay here. Maybe I should tell him to go.

_I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_And all I know is that it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_And all I know is that it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

I'm lost, and I can't find my way back. I'm slowly drowning in my sorrows, and I'm losing Casey. I'm losing the essence of who I am, and the only thing I can do is drink my pain away slowly.

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you, yeah_

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you, yeah_

Everyone tells you drinking is bad and to never do it. Sure a strong person can say that. Have they ever had everything and everyone they loved taken away from them? No. They were the people that never felt pain like this. Sure people think that when you're depressed you will start cutting yourself and go all emo, but there are other ways of relieving the pain. Mine is apparently drinking.

_I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_Oh God it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_All I know is that it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

I have to stay strong no matter what it takes.

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you, yeah_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you, yeah_

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you, yeah_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah_

I have to stay strong for Lizzie. For Derek. For everyone else besides me. While I'm staying strong for everyone else, Casey is slipping through the cracks.

_Who are the stars?_  
_Who are the stars that lie?_

I woke to the sun shining in my eyes through the window. I winced as a quickly shut my eyes. Just what I need; a hangover. The taste in my mouth was sour and I looked around trying to find my clock. 2:45pm. Ugh. Derek and I have to be at the funeral home in less than an hour. My head was pounding and the room was swaying. I shook my head and got up. I walked over to the door and peeped my head out. I could hear music coming from Derek's room and I'm sure that Lizzie is still in Edwin's room. Walking out I went to the linen closet and pull out a towel and a rag, and make my way to the bathroom.

As I shut the door and lock it a wave of nausea hits me and I bolt to the toilet. Everything I my stomach was heaved up. Tears welled up in my eyes and I moaned praying it was over. There was a banging on the door and I slowly turned my head to wait and see who was there.

"Case! Casey! Are you ok? Let me in." Derek said as he banged on the door and realized it was locked when he tried to turn the knob.

I pulled myself together and wiped the back of my hand across my mouth slowly getting up.

"Yeah. I-I'm ok Derek." I said my voice shaky.

"Casey, please open up so I can see for myself."

"Derek, I'm ok. I'm going to take a shower. I-I'll be out in a l-little bit." I said nervously biting my lower lip.

"Ok." Was all he said and then I heard his retreating footsteps.

After I decided that my stomach was completely empty I took off my cloths and turned on the hot water. I slowly slid into the water letting the warmth overtake my senses. I washed my hair twice because I didn't pull it back in time when I threw up and it smelled horrible. Soon all of the hot water was gone and I either had to get out or catch pneumonia from the freezing water.

Getting out I was a bit wobbly but I caught myself before falling. My head was pounding and I opened the medicine cabinet as I wrapped my towel around me. I grabbed my toothbrush, toothpaste, and some Advil, then shut it back and looked at myself in the refection.

I had small dark circles under my eyes and I was a little paler than usual, but besides that I looked normal; but I knew it was a mask. I grabbed the cup sitting by the sink, filled it with water, and took two Advil praying that it would take this awful headache away. I squeezed some of my spearmint toothpaste on my toothbrush and started brushing vigorously trying to get the sour taste out of my mouth. With each brush I could tell the taste was going away, and after about ten minutes I decided that it was gone all together.

Right as I opened the door of the bathroom the phone rang and Derek picked it up downstairs. Good, now he won't be rushing up here to check on me. I thought as I walked across the hall to my room. I shut the door and walked over to my closet. I pulled out a plum-purple shirt with three-quarter length sleeves and a pair of old blue jeans. I decide to let my hair air-dry since my hangover induced migraine wouldn't enjoy the sound of the loud blow-dryer. I was sliding my jeans up my legs when there was a knock at the door.

"Hey Case. Can I come in?" I heard from the other side of the door.

"Give me two seconds!" I said as I quickly finished putting my pants on and practically ran to the door, to open it and see the only person who can make my heart beat out of my chest.

"Are you ok? I heard you throwing up earlier." Derek said as he walked in my room and sat in my desk chair.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just have a really bad migraine." I said only partially lying.

"Oh, ok. That was the funeral home that called to confirm our appointment, and I told them that you were sick, so they said we could come by tomorrow at five-thirty."

"That sounds good." I said secretly thanking whoever was watching over me. There was no way I was going to be able to go to the funeral home today with a hangover.

"Yeah," he said rubbing the back of his neck, "Uh, do you just wanna, you know, hang around the house the rest of the day? Maybe watch a movie or something?"

"That sounds perfect." I said happily. It would feel good to do something normal. "Do you want to go ask Lizzie if she would like to join us?"

"I was just about to suggest the same thing" he said with a smile. Oh how I have missed that smile.

He walked over to me and grabbed my arm and tugged me out of the room. We walked until we got to the attic stairs and then we let go of each other's hand, thinking it might upset Lizzie more. When we got into Edwin's room we saw Lizzie laying in his bed with the blankets all wrapped around her. She was finally getting some rest. I walked over the bed and looked down at my little sister trying to imagine what she is going through, but I can't. Even though I know he doesn't love me back, the guy I love is standing beside me, alive.

"I think we should let her sleep." I whispered to Derek.

"I think your right. Come on, let's go." He whispered back as he tugged on my arm.

We walked out of Edwin's room and into the hallway and were faced with pictures of the family on the opposing side of the hall. I had mentally forced myself not to look at the pictures the other times I had walked by, but now I couldn't force my eyes away. The wall was adorned with multiple picture frames, holding happy, smiling people in them. My stomach twisted as I looked at each picture. There were pictures of all the kids; we all hated taking all of these cheese, posed pictures at the time, but I would do it again in a heartbeat now if I could. Derek saw my hesitation in front of the pictures and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"I miss them so much Derek." I said as tears started to leak out of my eyes, the effects of the alcohol gone by now.

"Me too Casey, but they're in a better place now… right?" he said his voice cracking.

"Yeah, that's right." I said wiping my eyes, "What movie do you want to watch?" I asked quickly changing the subject.

"Umm… I don't know," I confused him with the sudden conversation change, "What about Quest for Camelot?" He asked with a small smirk.

"How did you-"

"Really Casey? It's your favorite movie. You can quote it by heart." He answered, the smirk on his face growing.

"It sounds perfect" I said smiling up at him. Still holding on to my waist he started walking towards the stairs, bringing me with him.

"I'll get the popcorn while you get the movie" he said as he let go of me and started walking to the kitchen.

I knelt beside the TV and looked around for the movie. By the time that Derek got back with the popcorn and drinks, I had finally found it, and was putting the movie in. He sat the snacks on the coffee table and sat down on the couch, signaling me to come and sit beside him. I got up off the floor and moved myself to sit by him on his left side, but apparently I wasn't close enough. He slung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in; I had a terrible flashback to the night of the accident. I shuddered and he looked down at me, his face paling instantly after figuring out what made me shudder. He lifted his hand slowly, wiping the tears that escaped from my eyes, slowly leaning in. Soon our faces were inches apart, and my heart stopped. He looked at my face up and down, his eyes finally landing on my lips. He closed in the extra space…

"Casey! It's me Emily!" Emily came busting though the front door, and Derek leaned away from me, his arm still slung over me.

"Hey Em," I said breathlessly, "What's up?"

"Well I haven't talked to you since that night at the hospital, and I just wanted to check and see how you're doing." She said playing with a piece of string on her sweatshirt.

"Yeah, I'm doing good considering the circumstances" I said lamely. It was written all across my face; I'm not ok.

"That's wonderful!" she said as she ran over to the couch and hugged me. Derek got up off of the couch and left the room. Where does he think he's going?

After an hour of talking to Emily, she finally left. We talked about how I felt, how she felt, we cried, we talked about her and Sheldon, and everything that she could think about. I'm mentally exhausted, and I just want to sit on the couch and watch my favorite movie, with my favorite person. After waving goodbye to Emily as she walked to her house, I ran upstairs to find him. I walked past the bathroom and it was empty, then I walked over to his door. I could hear music coming from the inside, and I knocked on the door. Waiting a few seconds, he finally emerged. His face was blotchy and he had tear stains running down his face; my heart shattered at the sight of him like this. Without thinking I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him as hard as I could; neither of us saying a word. After an immeasurable amount of time we broke apart and he smiled.

"Let's go watch the movie." He said as he walked with me, hand in hand, down the stairs.

We sat on the couch and he started the movie. Instantly the room was filled with the first song and I snuggled in closer to him on the couch, my hangover completely forgotten. As we watched the movie he played with my hair and sometimes he would sing along with me and the movie. We laughed, and for one moment, everything felt normal. When the credits started rolling, we were snapped back into reality.

Neither of us said anything about the almost kiss. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment. Maybe he was just being nice. Maybe I'm hallucinating. All these thoughts colliding in my mind, and I don't know what to think of the situation. Then Derek finally broke the silence.

"This was fun. Thank you Casey" he said with a sincere smile.

"I had fun too Derek." I said smiling back. I know this sounded like the cheesy conversation after a date, but it felt like something more.

"I'm happy you did." He said as he leaned into me again. This is it!Two more inches. One…

"What the hell are you doing?"

I looked up to where the voice came from. Lizzie stood on the stairs, tears running down her face. The fierceness in her eyes scaring me to the bone. Derek got up and started walking over to her and hugged her. She tried to push him away with all her might, but he didn't budge.

"Calm down Liz. The doc said not to over stress or exert yourself. Please calm down." He said trying to soothe her; miserably failing.

I got up and ran over to where they were standing and tried to reason with her too.

"Liz, we weren't doing anything. We were just watching a movie. That's all." I said lying through my teeth. I didn't want to tell her what was really going on; I didn't have the courage.

"Casey stop lying! I know what you were doing! You were making out with Derek!" she screeched as more tears fell down her face. "I hate you! I hate both of you!"

Her words stunned Derek and he let his grip on her falter and she ran back up the stairs. Derek and I just sat there and stared at each other. Tears welled up in my eyes as the words my sister just said replayed in my head. I hate you. I hate both of you. Did she really feel that way? I fell to the floor and started sobbing, pulling my arms around me, I tried to keep myself together. Derek was at my side in an instance, wrapping his arms around me.

"Case, don't cry. Please don't cry." He said trying to get me to stop crying.

"B-b-but L-Lizzie said she h-hates us-s-s!" I cried into his chest.

"She didn't mean it Case, she just got upset. She doesn't really hate you."

"How d-do you know?"

"You're her sister. She loves you, no matter what. That's how I was with… Ed. We would always fight, but at the end of the day I knew we both still loved each other."

"R-really?" I said trying to pull myself back together.

"Yes really. I'm going to go check on her, I'll be right back."

"O-ok" I said as he got up and ran up the stairs.

I got up and ran over to the liquor cabinet. I didn't even realize what I was doing until the bottle of whiskey was on my lips. I gulped it trying to make this unbelievable pain in my chest to go away. I finished off the bottle and grabbed the next one; another bottle of vodka. The liquid went down my throat smoothly. Soon this pain will be gone…

"CASEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

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**Another cliffhanger! Yay! I wonder who catches her...;)**

**I am again appologizing for the whole acohol intake thing. She probably could have been hospitalized with all the alcohol I gave her, and I wouldn't know it. Sorry again:)  
I have no idea when the next time I'm going to update. I got in two chapters this week because school work was slow and I had a lot of time on my hands, but I don't know about the up comming week. **

**I hope you loved it! Again thank you for reviewing and reading:) Now, if you may, press the pretty, blue button that says_ Review this Chapter_, that would be wonderful!**


	7. Playing Games

**It feels like I haven't updated in forever, but it's only been about a week. But anyways, here is chapter 7:) This chapter is shorter than the last one, and I am sad about that. I had horrible writers block with this chapter, and it was making me so mad I almost gave up on this chapter, but I pushed through it. To me this chapter seems really short, and it feels like it's not as well written as my other chapters, and I really don't want to post it. And the fact that document manager isn't wanting to cooperate, yet again, is ticking me off! Here it is anyways;) I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD but Michael Seater is in my closet right now;) Bahahahaha!**

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I left Casey sitting on the stairs as I ran up to Ed's room. As I got up to his room, I didn't see Lizzie anywhere._ Where is she?_ I walked back down the attic stairs and walked to her room; she wasn't there either. I stood out in the hallway trying to here a noise coming from any of the rooms, but it was dead silent. _How can that be? I know she ran up here. Where could she have gone? _I searched every room looking for my step-sister, even checking the games closet, but couldn't find her anywhere. I ended up back in Ed's room pacing around when I noticed something I didn't see before._ The window, great._ I ran over to the wide, open window and saw Ed's old tree house rope ladder, tide securely to the ceil, reaching down to the ground.

"Ugh… Lizzie, really?" I mumbled to myself as I left Ed's room and made my way down the stairs. Casey wasn't sitting where I left her. I could hear some banging coming from the kitchen and I slowly made my way to the door. Pushing it open I saw her standing there, tears still running down her face.

"Hey Case, we have a-" I paused seeing that Casey wasn't the only one standing in the kitchen, "Sam?"

_What is Sam doing here? I haven't seen him around here since him and Casey last broke up._ Sam and Casey had tried to get back together over the past Thanksgiving holiday, but, after yet another nasty break up, he hasn't been over that much.

"Hey D." he said waving at me. The look on his face was unsettling. He shifted his eyes to Casey and looked at her odd.

"What're you doing here?"

"Just came to see how you were doing, seeing if there was anything ya'll needed."

"Oh, ok" I said not giving it a second thought. I looked over at Casey and she looked absolutely terrified. "Umm, Case, we have a big problem."

"W-what is it?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"It seems that a certain somebody, that is supposed to be on bed rest until she recovers, has climbed out of the window."

"What! Derek we have to go find her! She can't be walking around this much!" she said as she ran out of the kitchen and ran towards the front door, stumbling a couple of times.

I looked at Sam and he gave me this weird look and then ran after her. _What is going on?_ I thought as I ran after the two of them. Casey was already at the door putting on her coat and Sam was following right behind her.

"Ok, we need to split up and look for her. I will go to the park, Derek, you go to the soccer field, and Sam, go to the diner. We will meet back here in thirty minutes. We have to find her." She quickly gave the demands, and then was out the door, walking on foot to the park. When she tripped over the curb I turned and looked at Sam, knowing he was hiding something. Casey wasn't usually _that _clumsy.

"What is wrong with Casey?" I asked, staring him in the eyes.

"Man, D… I have no idea. Maybe I should go with her." and with that Sam was chasing after Casey that was still in view, stumbling around.

_What is wrong with them? _The soccer field was about a twenty minute walk from the house, so I grabbed my leather jacket and the keys, and made my way to my truck. I started the engine and pulled out of the driveway making my way to the soccer field. My mind drifted as I drove. _Why was Sam acting so weird? Why did Casey look terrified and tripping more than usual? Are they doing something behind my back? Sam knows how I feel about them. _

Then my thoughts trailed to mine and Casey's almost kiss; both of them. The first time I really wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. She looked so sad and when I realized that we were in the same position we were in before we heard about the accident my heart went out to her. She looked so beautiful with her damp, brown hair hanging down her back, her purple shirt contrasting with her skin perfectly; I couldn't help myself. Sure I had thought about Casey and me one day getting together, but I never thought it would happen. I have liked her for a long time now, heck I'm in love with the girl! She is the reason I get up in the mornings now, not that I haven't been getting any sleep since the accident. I probably have only had six hours of sleep the past four days, and she is what's keeping me together. _Why did Emily have to barge in when I was going to kiss her? Why did Liz have to walk in at my second attempt? Is this the universe trying to tell us we're not meant to be together? I don't know what to think nowadays._

Then I saw a figure walking down the road, light reflecting off of it from my headlights. It was a small figure wearing blue pajamas with brown hair; Lizzie. I drove up next to her and rolled down my window, but she kept walking.

"Lizzie, come get in the car." She didn't respond.

"Liz, look, I know that how you saw me and Casey upset you, but you need to get in the car with me. The doctors wanted you to rest, not take a five mile walk. Get in please." I said begging her.

"No Derek. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk to you, and I don't want to talk to Casey. I want to be normal again and go play soccer." She said as she kept walking, me slowly following behind her in my truck. I hadn't realized it until now, but she had a soccer ball nestled in her arms.

"Ok, let's make a deal." I said thinking on my toes. It must have worked because she stopped in her tracks.

"What?" she asked intrigued.

"If you get in the car with me I will take you to the soccer field and we can play some one-on-one, as long as you stop when you feel like you have overworked yourself. Deal?" I asked putting my hand out the window.

"Ok." She said as she shook my hand.

"Then get in."

She walked around the front of my truck and hopped in. It took about five more minutes to get to the soccer field. We got out and walked on the field. It was pitch dark outside, but the streetlights that lined the sidewalk by the field, and the light of the moon gave us just enough light to see. She put the soccer ball down by her feet as I walked over to the goal.

"Now remember our deal, the first time you feel like you are getting tired you have to stop."

"I rememeber." She said as she shuffled the ball in-between her feet.

"Ok then. Give me your best shot." Smirking at her I prepared myself for the oncoming ball. She hit the ball and it flew past my reach and went into the goal.

"That was just a warm-up." I said acting cool about it.

"Sure it was. Get ready to have your butt kicked."

Goal, after goal, after goal she got in. I tried my hardest to catch the ball that kept flying past me, but somehow I could never catch it. Every once in a while I think she would take petty on me and hit the ball to where I could catch it. I would celebrate with a victory-dance, and I could see a small smile spread across her face, and it made me want to act more of an idiot just to keep her like that. I want her to be happy, and that is why I am out here at ten-fifty-six playing soccer with her. I would play soccer all night with her if it had to, to keep her mind off of Ed. She got another goal.

"Hahaha! Take that Venturi!" she cackled, breathlessly, but soon the cackles soon turned into sobs. I was at her side in two seconds.

"Lizzie, what's wrong? Liz, talk to me." I said as I tried to get a response out of her, but all I got was more sobbing.

"Derek, he wasn't supposed to leave me," she said as she picked her head up to look at me, "He told me we would be together forever! How could he leave me!" she screamed into the night.

"I don't know Liz." I pulled her into my chest and rocked her back and forth trying to calm her.

We sat like this for an immeasurable amount of time, then my cell phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that Casey had been trying to call me. I called her back and heard her hysterical voice on the other side.

"Derek! Why haven't you been answering your phone? Have you found her?" her voice coming quickly from the phone I barely understood what she was saying.

"Yes I found her; we're at the soccer field. We'll be home in about ten minutes." I said hanging up the phone.

"Derek…"

"Yeah Liz?" looking down at her I saw she had stopped crying and was now looking up at me.

"I know Edwin threw himself onto me. I am the reason he is dead. Why am I such a h-h-horrible person?" she asked more tears coming to her eyes.

"Lizzie, never think that! You are the farthest from a horrible person!"

"B-b-but Edwin is dead because of me. M-maybe if-f he didn't try to s-s-save me, he m-might still be alive."

"If he didn't try to save you then both of you would probably be dead right now. I think he saved you so you could live your life while he watches over; like a guardian angel." I said smiling a little thinking of Ed as a guardian angel.

"Really?" she asked wiping some of her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Yeah, though you may have some bad luck every now and then, being it's Ed were talking about." I laughed and she laughed a little too.

"Let's go home Der."

"At-a-girl," I said as I picked her up off the ground and gently throwing her over my shoulder, "Let's go home." I repeated

She just giggled and let me carry her to the truck. As we walked all I could think about was Marti._ Is she ok? Is she scared? Cold? Is she looking for me? Where are you Marti? _I sat Lizzie down in the seat and helped her buckle up, then walked over to the driver side and started the took us about ten minutes to get home; Casey and Sam were waiting outside for us. As soon as I stopped the car Casey was at Lizzie's door pulling her out of the car.

"Oh my gosh Lizzie! Don't you ever do that to me again!" she said as she hugged her sister so hard I thought that Lizzie might be losing oxygen.

"I'm… sorry… Case… can't… breath!" she gasped.

"Oh, I'm sorry Liz." Casey said as she pulled away from her sister. "Why are you all sweaty?"

"Derek played one-on-one with me" Lizzie said with a smile at me, and I smiled back.

"Lizzie, could you go inside for a little bit while I talk to Derek and Sam alone?"

"Sure. I'll go take a shower," she said as she started to walk up to me and hugged me. "Thank you Derek. I love you." She whispered as she snuggled her head into my chest.

"I love you too squirt," I whispered hugging her back, "Now go take a shower, you reek!"

She giggled and walked off into the house. I turned to see her older sister staring daggers in my direction. _I'm in big, big trouble…_

"Derek Carson Venturi!" _Oh crap, she used my whole name… _"What the hell did you think you were doing playing soccer with my sister that just got out of the hospital yesterday?" she screamed, probably waking the whole neighborhood.

"Casey, she just needed a wa-"

"I don't even want to hear it! You shouldn't have done that Derek! She could have been hurt!" she said her face growing redder and redder.

"Calm down Case. Let's go inside and discuss this rationally." Sam said trying not to wake up all of Canada.

"Ok, but don't think your off the hook" she said pointing to me.

We walked in the house and Casey stumbled over nothing, nothing at all. _What the hell is wrong with her?_ I didn't have time to ask, because right as we got through the door she turned on to me.

"Derek, I am going to give you two seconds to tell me why you were playing soccer with my little sister at eleven o'clock at night when she should be recovering… Speak." She said glowering at me.

"Well she was really upset about… well… you know," I said trying to not put our business out there in front of Sam, "So she started to walk to the soccer field, wanting to be normal again. I begged her to get in the truck and come back home, but she just ignored me and kept walking, until I made a deal with her. I promised I would play one-on-one with her until she tired herself out as long as she came home with me right after." I said leaving out the little emotional breakdown part. When Lizzie is ready she will tell Casey herself.

"Why would you make that deal with her knowing that she shouldn't be doing any physical activity?"

"She just needed to feel normal Casey, if only for one night. Everything has been taken away from her and she just wanted to feel normal. She needed to have some fun. Don't be mad at her, if you need to be mad at anyone, it's me." I said looking down at my hands not wanting to meet her blue eyes.

"I'm not mad at anyone Derek, I was just worried and I let it get the best of me. I'm sorry." I walked up to me and gave me a big hug; kind of falling into me.

"What is wrong with you Casey?" I asked as I pulled her up to look into my eyes.

"W-what do you mean?"

"I know that you're naturally clumsy, but come on Case, you haven't walk two feet without tripping all day. What's wrong?"

"Nothing D-Derek. I'm f-f-fine!" she said stuttering, which only meant one thing; she's lying.

"Casey, stop lying, tell me wh-"

"Derek, she said she was fine." Sam interrupted.

I just stared back at Sam with a hated look. _He knows what's going on with Casey. Casey confided in him instead of me? Why would she do that? I'm the one that loves her, not that she knows that, but still. We have to tell each other everything now, doesn't she know that?_

"This has nothing to do with you Sam. Maybe you should go home." I said glowering at him.

Sam looked over to Casey giving her yet again another weird look. Tears glistened in her eyes and she shook her head.

"It's ok Sam, you can go."

"What? Now he needs permission from you to leave when I practically told him to?" I asked, baffled.

"Der-ek! Don't be mean; Sam just wants to make sure I'm alright. That's all." She said, more tears welling up in her eyes.

"I can act however the hell I want to! This is my house and I am kicking you out!" I yelled pointing at Sam.

"I'll see you tomorrow Case." He said backing towards the door. This made me even more enraged._ Now there planning to see each other? They haven't even spoken to each other since they broke up, for the seventh time, ten months ago! _I didn't even say anything as I pushed Sam out the door and slammed it in his face.

"DER-EK! What was that for?"

"He is not allowed here anymore." I said with a snarl.

"Why not? He hasn't done anything Derek!" she shrieked at me.

"I don't want him here, and that's it. No changing my mind. He is never allowed in my house ever again."

"What? Did you just say _your _house? Since when did it become yours? It's just as much mine and Lizzie's as it is yours!" she said barely breathing in-between words.

"I don't care whose house it is! All I know is that as long as I am living here, he is not to step foot through that door!" my voice got louder and louder.

"Whatever! I will just see him at his house then!" she said as she started walking towards the front door.

"Oh no you won't." I said as I gripped onto her forearm.

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Yes I can! I don't want you going near him, is that understood?"

"Stop trying to be like George!" she yelled at me.

It hurt to hear his name, knowing that I would never see my own dad again. Tears welled up in my eyes and my grip loosened on Casey's arm and she pulled it away. She had tears streaming down her face that I hadn't noticed before in my fury. The tears started to roll down my face and fall onto my white shirt, leaving little grey circles where they met the fabric. _I've already let myself lose it once today; I don't want to lose it again._ Casey started to walk towards me with her arms open.

"Derek, I didn't mean to, I wa-"

"Get away from me." and with that, I bolted up the stairs and ran into my room.

_Ugh!_ I slammed my door shut and started pacing around my room. When Emily came over earlier I came up here and picked up my room. I know, _Derek Venturi's room actually being clean?_ It shocked me too. I had nothing to do to get my mind off of everything, so I tried the Casey approach to getting through things, but after I finished cleaning, I still felt terrible and lost it. _I should have been a better son. I should have done everything that they asked me instead of blowing them off. I should have been a better older brother._ All of these thoughts flowed through my head earlier today and I lost control of my emotions. After about crying for five minutes Casey came and knocked on my door and I cried in her arms, then we went downstairs. That felt like a million years ago. Everything was fine then, but now I don't know what to do.

"Ugh!" I banged my hands against the wall that connected mine and Casey's room. I pulled my hands up to my eyes and rubbed the angry tears away from them, and then proceeded to pull them through my hair. _Why does this have to be so difficult? _I want to be with Casey, but seeing the looks Sam was giving her and the way she was acting makes me think that there is something going on between them. They are keeping secrets from me, they want to see each other, and they are both acting so weird.

There was a soft _pitter-patter_ of feet and then a _tap-tap _on my door. I walked over and opened the door to a sad looking Lizzie. Her hair was wet from just getting out of the shower and she had on purple pajama's, her face paled slightly.

"What's wrong Liz?" I said as I looked into her sad, light-brown eyes.

"I heard you and Casey arguing…"

"I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"M-me too." She said as tears filled her eyes and she hugged me around the waist.

I picked her up and moved her into my room so Casey wouldn't show up soon blaming me for her little sister crying. I sat down on my bed and sat her right beside me; her still hugging onto me.

"Hey… hey… It's alright, there is no need to cry Liz." I said attempting to console her.

"You and C-Casey can't f-f-fight Derek. W-we need to stick together." She said trying to wipe away at her tears.

"I know that, but she was acting so… not Casey?" I said confused.

"What d-do you mean?"

"She's been acting weird all day. She has stumbled so many times that she has exceeded her nickname, and Sam kept giving her weird looks. Then when I made him leave she was going to go after him! Can you believe that? She was going to go after the guy she has been purposefully avoiding for ten months!"

"That's not like Casey…" she said finally calming down some.

"I know. I'm worried."

"Let's go talk to her about what's going on. Maybe she just needs to sort some things out, and we can help." She said jumping up and holding out her hand for mine.

"Ok, let's go."

We walked out of my room and went downstairs to look for her first, expecting that she didn't come back upstairs after I blew up. Walking through the living room we didn't find her anywhere, and we walked to the kitchen, but she wasn't there either.

"I guess she's upstairs, come on." I said grabbing Lizzie's hand and making my way up the stairs.

We walked up the steps and made our way to her door. There were stifled sniffs and sobs coming through the door, and I knew automatically that she was crying. I hate that she's crying, and the fact that I'm the one that made her cry, makes it even worse. _I'm going to fix this. We are going to be happy again. No more tears in this house because of me. _I turned the door knob and pushed the door open.

"Hey Case, we wer-"

"Derek! Lizzie! This isn't what it looks like!" she shouted.

"Lizzie, go to your room" I said looking down at my little step-sister.

"But Derek!" she pouted

"NOW!"

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**It was awful, I know it...  
**

**In this whole chapter I ment for Casey to be drunk, so I hope that was clear. I really wanted to show that Derek has a softside when it comes to Lizzie, and not just to Marti. I wanted to show that they are becoming closer and more like real siblings instead of step-siblings. I hope those who are reading do not give up on me because of this chapter, but if you do I totally understand. It's going to get better and better! I already have the ideas for the next chapter, and I think they are pretty amazing if I do say so myself:) Thank you to everyone who has read/reviewed for this story! You guys are the reason I'm keeping this story going:)**

**To divine,blue: **(document manager refused to let me put a period between divine and blue, so I had to use a comma. Sorry)** I know you said you didn't want any of Casey's exes finding her because you thought it was being to cheesy, but I needed to use Sam. I tried having Derek find her, but it wouldn't have taken me anywhere with the way I want this story to end up. I hope you are not to upset with me... :)**

**Now if you would like to press the cute, little, blue review button, that would just make my day:)**


	8. My Only One

**Ok, its only been like a day and a half since I last updated, but here is chapter 8! I had like this MEGA-brainstorm and wrote all day, and I prodused my longest chapter ever! 7,048 words baby! Whoooo whooooooooo! I just had to post it because I couldn't let it sit on my computer for a week! I am in total love with this chapter. I really got into Derek's head and how he feels about everything, and it's super long because I wanted to fit it all in. Now Derek is going to be OOC, but that is why this stuff is called fanFICTION people! I tried to keep him in character as much as I could, and I'm sorry if i totally missed the mark. I hope you enjoy! Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD or the song Only One by Yellowcard. I do, however, own Kaylie:)**

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Lizzie left after I yelled at her to leave. All I can see is red. _This is not how I wanted to spend my Tuesday morning at two o'clock in the morning. _I looked at the scene in front of me and almost just collapsed on the floor from heartache. Sam was kneeled down in front of Casey holding her hand, a bottle of wine sitting beside his knee._ He's proposed to her? How could he?_

"Derek, this isn't what you think it is." Casey said as she started to walk towards me with a guilty expression on her face.

"I can't believe you. And you Sam! How could you d-do this to your best friend! You w-were like a-a-a brother to me!" I yelled at him, his face turning grim from my words.

"D, let's just talk about this."

I didn't even think about what I was doing until I was out the front door and running to my truck, listening to Casey's yells for me to come back. I still had on my jacket with the keys in the pocket, and I pulled them out and started the truck. I pealed out of the driveway and started down the road._ I can't go back, but what about Lizzie? She's all I really have now. Her sister, the girl I love, the only other family I have left just ripped my heart in two, and I left Lizzie at the house. She's probably upset that I yelled at her earlier, but what else was I suppose to do? Her sister was sitting on her bed with her ex kneeling down in front of her! I know it wasn't really means for me to yell at her to go to her room, but I couldn't think of anything else to do. And what did Casey mean by 'this isn't what it looks like'? What else did it look like? It was pretty obvious what it was, and I am never going back to that house again. I will from now on put all my effort into looking for my baby sister. I will go back for the funeral, but I will not talk to Casey or Sam. I'm going to be there for my little sister, Lizzie. Crap… Me and Casey were suppose to go to the funeral home today to get everything settled. Oh well, she can do it with Sam._ Her smell lingered around in my truck from the last time she road with me. I rolled down my windows trying to get her sent out of my truck, hoping she would get out of my head.

I drove down the road, tears blurring my vision, my hair blowing in the wind. I don't know where I am, and right now I really don't care. I just needed to get way from Casey. I needed to get away from the house. It was eating me alive to be there without the rest of the family, knowing that they would never be coming back. I will call Lizzie in the morning and tell her about my plan. I'm not going to tell her where I'm planning on staying, or where I'm going to be at any time, I don't need Casey coming and looking for me._ Ugh! How could Sam do this to me? He knew that I liked Casey, that's why I made up the whole male-code about not dating your friend's siblings. _After hours of asking me why I was so adamant on breaking them up Sam got me to confess my feelings for Casey. Sam understood that I liked Casey, but he told me that if I wasn't going to go for her, he was. Our friendship was put on the line for a while, but I realized that I couldn't tell every guy that went for Casey that she was mine, because she wasn't. _Casey was never mine._ With realizing this, I found that if she couldn't be mine then I could mess with her all the time, and with each prank my feelings for her grew. Every time that a new boyfriend came around my pranks got more clever and more devious. Sure I wish that I could have just straight out told her that I liked her, but I just couldn't. Every time I tried to tell her I would get all choked up and end up making a fool of myself. She was, is, the only girl that can make me make a complete fool of myself. She is the only girl that has ever broken my heart.

The tears are still flowing strong from my eyes and I have to pull over on the side of the road because I can't see through the thick tears. After I pulled over I turned off the truck and just listened to the silence. I try to rub them away, but by the time I rub away the ones on my face, more fill my eyes. It took me about fifteen minutes to get myself under control and I looked around me for the first time. I was about an hour away from my house in a little town. I could see a diner, and motel, a grocery store, a school, and a couple of houses._ This place looks so familiar..._ I started the truck back up and started driving towards the motel. There was a big neon sign hanging in front of it that read, _Moonlight Motel._ I pulled into one of the parking spots and turned the key to cut the engine. Grabbed my wallet from the glove compartment and made my way to the door of the motel office. When I got through the doors I met a woman with blonde hair with a few streaks of grey sitting behind a desk.

"Well hello darling. How may I help you?" she asked in a sweet voice that made my teeth ache.

"I need a room." I said bluntly.

"And for how long, may I ask?"

"For a while." I said not too sure on my plans.

"Ok, I'll put you down for a week for now, and then if you need to stay longer we can change it." she said smiling up at me.

"Sounds good. Here is my payment." I said throwing down fifty dollars.

She turned around and pulled a key from one of the hooks on the wall and turned back around and slid it across the desk.

"Room number 7 sweet-pea. There are towels in the cabinet and more blankets under the bed. If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask." She said winking at me._ Is she trying to flirt with me? She's like forty!_

"Thanks" was all I was able to say as I turned to go to the door.

I walked outside and turned to go to the room the lady behind the counter assigned me. I put the key into the lock and turned the doorknob. I walked in and took in my surroundings. It was a small room with chocolate colored walls. The bedspread matched the curtains, which matched the lampshade, which matched the carpet. There was a double bed sitting in the middle pushed up against the farthest wall and there was a door to the left of it. I walked over to it and saw that it was a bathroom equipped with a toilet, a shower, and a sink. I walked back into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. _I don't have any clothes, I don't have a toothbrush or toothpaste, I don't have shampoo, or anything for that matter._ I left the house in such a rushed manner that I didn't bring anything with me._ I'll have to go to the grocery store to get toothpaste, a toothbrush, deodorant; I'm going to have to make a list._ There was a note pad and a pen sitting on the nightstand and I picked them up and started writing down my list. It took about five minutes to wrack my brain of what I needed. Then I realized that they probably didn't have mall in this town, so I would have to make a special trip to a place that did.

I looked over at the clock sitting on the nightstand. _4:46 am; well I guess this is the fifth night in a row that I haven't slept._ I laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. There was probably nothing open at this time of the morning, so I tried to rest some, but sleep never came. I laid there and thought about where I'm going to go next, how Lizzie is feeling, about how I was going to find Marti.

We haven't heard anything from Chris since the day we went to confirm the bodies._ Was that only three days ago?_ I'm getting more nervous the more days that go by. She was with the family when they left according to Lizzie, and she was there when the accident happened. She should have still been in the car._ Where is my little sister?_

The clock now read _7:13 am _and I decided it was a good time to get up. I got up and walked over into the bathroom deciding to take a shower. I pulled of my clothes sluggishly and turned on the water. The hot water felt good as it splayed across the muscles of my back, relaxing them. Since I didn't have any shampoo or soap I just stood there letting the hot water envelope me. With the water running down my face you couldn't tell where the droplets mixed with my tears. I closed my eyes and the scene of Sam proposing to Casey flashed across my eyelids and I had to grab for the wall of the shower to keep myself from falling. _You have to pull yourself together Venturi._ Mentally slapping myself I pulled myself together and got out of the shower. As I got out and wrapped the towel around my waist I saw something, or should I say someone standing in front of me. I jumped, scared of the person staring back at me.

The boy staring back at me looked horrible. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, with black circles hanging underneath his dull, brown eyes. He looked paler that the normal person, and as if he was older than he appeared to be. Tears started to roll out of his eyes as I stepped closer to him. He was violently shaking with sobs when I was right in front of him. I want to help him, to console him, but how? I reached my shaking hand out to put it on his shoulder. He mimicked me and we went to touch each other's hand, but I was met with a weird sensation under my fingertips. His fingertips were cold and hard, and I flinched away from them; he did the same. Then I understood who the crying boy was.

_He's me._ I backed away from the mirror and lost my footing, falling onto the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest trying to hold myself together._ I am a wreck. I have nobody. I have no family. I have no one to help me. I'm here all by myself. _I rocked back and forth trying to calm myself down, but it didn't work. I was just as hysteric as I was when I first saw my reflection.

After an immeasurable amount of time, I finally calmed down and pulled myself to my feet, and left the bathroom without a second glance to the boy in the mirror.I pulled on my white, long-sleeved shirt, my blue jeans, my shoes, and finally my leather jacket. I left my hair to air-dry and walked out of the door, locking it, making my way to my truck. As I hopped in and started the car I saw something shift in my peripheral vision._ Ugh now what?_ I turned to look in the passenger seat, and my breath caught in my throat. I rubbed my eyes a couple of times, but when I pulled my hands away from my face it didn't change.

"E-E-Edwin?" I finally choked out.

"Hey bro!" he said with a big smile across his face.

It was my little brother sitting in the passenger seat beside me. My_ dead_ brother. _How the hell is this possible? Did I have a couple of drinks and not know it? Did I do some kind of drug? Am I just sleep deprived? Oh I really don't care! My brother is sitting beside me!_ I didn't dare move towards him, in fear that he might disappear. So I settled for sitting there with the biggest smile on my face looking like a complete doofus.

"Derek, are you… ummm… crying?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Yes! My b-b-baby brother is s-sitting in front of me! Why w-wouldn't I be?" I replied, more tears falling from my eyes.

"That is true, but I just haven't seen you cry since mom left, that's all."

"Ed, you have no clue how happy I am to see you! I'm sorry for being such a terrible big brother. I'm sorry for that time when you were two and I told you that if you flushed yourself down the toilet that you would be transported to the moon. And I'm sorry for that time when you were five and I got you in trouble for wiping jelly all over mom's favorite dress. And that time wh-"

"Derek, we don't have time for you to apologize to me for every time you have gotten me in trouble," he interrupted laughing, "And you weren't a bad brother. Actually you were the best brother."

"What? I was a horrible brother! All I did was use you for my personal gain…" I said confused.

"That's kind of why I'm here, I wanted to tell you that you're not, nor were, a terrible brother. You were the best brother I could ask for, and more. You helped me become strong and cunning like you, and I am eternally grateful." He said with a huge grin on his face.

"I love you Ed." I said as more tears rolled down my face.

"I love you too Derek," he said smiling so big I thought his face might rip, "And could you do me a big favor? I know that you normally wouldn't do this, but I would really appreciate it if you did."

"Sure, anything."

"Tell Lizzie I love her, always have, and I will always be with her no matter what. And that it's ok to move on and be happy."

"But that means having to go back to the house. I can't do it Ed." I said shaking my head._ I can't go there with Casey and Sam being there._

"Yes you can. Since when has "can't" been in _The Derek Venturi's_ vocabulary?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Since I found Sam proposing to Casey this morning." I said tears pricking my eyes.

"What!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, I walked in on him asking her."

"Wow… but I thought Sam knew how you felt about her…"

"He did. Wait, how do you know how I feel about Casey?" I never remember telling him that.

"Well, it's kind of obvious, except to Casey apparently."

"All the same, I can't go back." I said as I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Please Derek! For Lizzie? For me?" he started to pout.

"Ugh! Fine! I'll go, but I will call Lizzie first and make sure Casey's not around when I go." I said caving.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are the best brother ever!" he exclaimed.

"That's what they tell me" I said with a smirk.

"I have to go now Derek, but if you ever need me, just talk to me and I will hear you. I love you." He said as he slowly started to disappear.

"No Ed! You can't leave me! Stay… please!" I didn't get a response.

_Ugh! I have to talk to Lizzie. I have to keep my promise._ I pulled out my phone and dialed her cell phone number and patiently waited for her to answer.

"Hello?" a soft voice answered on the other line.

"It's Derek, don't say my name. Is Casey around?"

"Yes." She answered bluntly. She knew how to answer to keep Case in the dark about who she was talking to._ Ah, I taught her well._

"Ok, do you know when the next time she is going to be out of the house for a long period of time?"

"Yes, today at five-thirty." She answered.

"_Lizzie, who is that you're talking to?"_ I heard on the other side of the phone._ Crap…_

"It's Jamie, he wants to come visit me, and I thought while you and Sam are out today he could come over and keep me company. Is that ok?" she asked Casey._ Wow, that girl can think on her toes._

"_Oh, well yes. That sounds perfect. Tell him to be here around five-thirty and that we will be back around twelve or so because we're going to go to my apartment and bring everything home. I'll rent you two some movies on the TV and ya'll can watch them." _Casey replied.

"Did you hear that Jamie?"

"Yes I did. Sam is going with her to the funeral home?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes."

"Ok squirt, I'll see you around six. I love you."

"Back at you."

"Bye sis."

"Bye-bye." She said right before she hung up the phone.

I looked at the clock on the dashboard and it read _11:34 am. Just six more hours till I go to see Lizzie. I guess I can go ahead and go shopping for groceries, and when I get to the house I can just pack up my clothes instead of buying new ones._ I started the truck and drove to the grocery store. It was walking distance from the motel, but I didn't feel like walking at the moment. I pulled into a parking spot and got out of the truck, putting my wallet in my back pocket. I walked in and it felt like home. At a grocery store you can be anywhere in the world and it feel like you're shopping at the grocery story you grew up shopping in. I gave myself a small smile and grabbed a shopping basket.

I walked up and down the aisles picking up the necessities. Looking down in the basket I smiled at the familiarity._ Toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, shampoo, a razor, beef jerky, a bottle of coke, and a pack of gum._ I walked up to the cash register and put my items on the counter, watching the girl cashier checkout each item.

The cashier was a pleasant looking girl with long, dark-red hair pulled into a side ponytail. Her green eyes twinkled when she looked up at me, and her pink lips pulled back into a smile revealing two rows of sparkling, white teeth. Her skin tone was pale, but it contrasted with her hair in a way that made it glow. She is stunning;_ but she's not Casey…_

"Your total will be nineteen-thirty-two." She said giving me another smile.

I pulled a twenty out of my wallet and handed it to her, giving her a small smirk. She smiled and blushed as she put the money in the cash register and counted out my change. She pulled out two quarters, a nickel, and three pennies, handed them to me with my receipt.

"You're new here aren't you?" She asked.

"Yeah, I just got here this morning." I said trying to have a conversation with this girl, keeping my thoughts off of Casey.

"Oh, that's cool. How long are you planning on staying?" she asked twirling a piece of her hair from her ponytail.

"I'm not really sure. I'm going to be here for a while though."

"Running away from something?"

"Actually it's more like somebody… how did you know?" I asked confused.

"That's the only reason anyone ever comes to this town. I ran away from home and ended up here." She said her eyes twinkling.

"Really?" I asked intrigued.

"Yeah," she said with a small laugh, "I'm getting off in about thirty minutes, do you want to go get something to eat and hang out?" she asked a smile spreading across her face.

"Sure, I'm going to go and put up these groceries and I'll meet you back here in thirty minutes?" I would love to have someone to talk to.

"Sounds wonderful." She said her face brightening.

"Umm… I didn't catch your name…" I said, feeling like a total idiot for not asking earlier.

"My name is Kaylie," she smiled, "And what's yours?"

"Derek" I breathed giving her a smile myself.

"I guess I'll see you in a little bit then, Derek." When she said my name she blushed a beautiful shade of pink.

"See ya."

I walked out of the store and started walking towards my truck with a smile on my face. I hopped in and started the engine, making my way to the motel. _Ok, so I have about five hours until I need to start heading back to the house. I can have lunch with Kaylie, have time to back to my room, then make my way to the house and be there about the time that Sam and Casey leave._ I pulled into the motel and got out with my groceries. Once I got in my room I headed for the shower so I could have an actual one. After taking my shower and shaving, I had about ten minutes before I had to go meet Kaylie. I decided that I could go back early and just hang around until her shift was over. I pulled into the grocery store parking lot and got out to see that Kaylie was walking out of the door. I walked up to her and her face brightened instantly.

"Hey Derek!" she greeted me.

"Hey Kaylie, where do you want to go eat?"

"Umm… How about the diner?" she asked pointing down the road to a quaint, little diner.

"Sounds great. Do you want to walk, or do you want to do in my truck?" I asked pointing to my truck.

"We can just walk, if that's ok."

"Sure, let's go, I'm starving." I said as I pulled on the sleeve of shirt.

I didn't really notice what she was wearing until I pulled on her sleeve. She was wearing a deep-blue, long-sleeved shirt that clung to her, showing off her body, a pair of kaki bermuda-shorts, and a pair of Converse that matched her shirt. She was stunning, and she was probably the only girl that could be in the running with Casey; but Casey would always win.

By now we were at the doors of the diner. We walked in and waited to be seated while the waitress was running around._ Rain. Casey. Sopping wet. Napkin. Phone number. Luna. Accident._ All of these things flashed through my head and made me dizzy as I saw the red-headed waitress walk up to us._ OhmyGod… that's why this place looked so familiar…_

"Don't I know you?" the waitress asked.

"Umm… n-n-no… I-I have to go." and with that I sprinted out of the diner.

I stopped in the parking lot and doubled over trying to stop the flood of memories hitting me. Then I felt a hand on my back and I turned around quickly to see who it was. It was Kaylie. The expression was of one someone who had just watched a puppy get run over. Her big green eyes were swimming with tears and she held out her arms for me. Sure I had only just met her, but I needed a hug, or I might have just fallen apart.

"I-I-I'm sorry K-Kaylie." I choked out.

"Shh… it's ok Derek. You don't have to apologize." She said rubbing circles on my back. It reminded me of how I tried to Casey console just earlier this week.

"N-n-no, I'm sorry. L-let's go somewhere else." I suggested as I tried to pull myself together.

"Ok, we can go to the park if you want."

"T-that sounds good." I said as she took a hold of my hand and lead me towards the park._ Her hand doesn't feel like Casey's. Is Casey worried about me? Has she even thought about me?_

We made it to the park and we sat down on a bench together. I put my arm across the back of the bench and slumped down getting comfortable, Kaylie scooted over beside me and leaned into my chest and picking up my hand and placing it in hers. We sat there in silence for a long while._ She's probably waiting for me to talk…_

"So I guess you're wondering why I totally lost it back there…" I said, killing the silence.

"Well actually yes, but you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I don't want to talk about it, but I don't want you to think that I'm a psycho, so I'm going to tell you anyways." I said as I shifted and got up from the bench, leaving her sitting in it.

"Ok…" she said a little confused.

"It started two years ago. My dad remarried, and his wife, Nora, and her two kids, Casey and Lizzie, moved in with my dad, my little brother, Edwin, my little sister, Marti, and me. Casey is my age, and Lizzie is the same age as Ed. The moment I met Casey I was instantly attracted to her and I couldn't stop thinking about her. Then she met my best friend _Sam_," I said his name full of disgust, "and he fell for her. To make a long story short, I was in love with my step-sister, but never told her so my best friend pursued her." I said as I paced back and forth in front of Kaylie.

"Ok? What does that have to do with the diner incident?" she asked totally confused.

"It has everything to do with it" I said looking off towards the diner, remembering the last minutes of my happiness being spent there.

"Derek? Are you ok?" Kaylie pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, so anyways five days ago I was helping Casey move to her college about an hour away from here and the weather was awful, so we stopped at that diner," I said pointing towards it, "The rest of the family was going to meet us at Casey's apartment after the kids got out of school, so we stopped and waited for the rain to stop. We ate and the waitress, Luna, flirted with me, and then we left. We got to the college, got everything unloaded, and everything was perfect. Until we got the messages and phone calls we had missed. Come to find out our family was in a car crash and only Lizzie survived. Oh, and my baby sister, Marti, is missing…"

Kaylie gasped and put her hand over her mouth. She looked utterly shocked.

"D-Derek, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Me too… the reason I broke down earlier was because the last time I was in that diner, was the last time I was happy." I said looking down at my keys in my hand.

"Then what are you doing here?" she asked walking up to me.

"I found my 'best friend'," I put air-quotes around the word, "proposing to Casey…"

"What?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah." I said looking at her in the eyes with no emotion.

"I'm sorry Derek, but you should go back. I know you probably don't want to, but you need to." She said picking up my hands in hers and looking at me dead, straight in the eyes.

"I'm going back tonight, to get my stuff and say good bye to Lizzie, then I'm coming back here and putting all my efforts into finding my baby sister."

"Oh, well I guess that's better than totally disappearing like I did." She said looking ashamed.

My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket looking at the caller id;_ Lizzie._ I held my finger up to Kaylie and she went and sat back down on the bench. I flipped open my phone and answered.

"Hey Liz."

"Jamie, my sister and Sam are leaving earlier than they thought. The funeral home moved up there appointment to three, so could you be here around that time?" her soft voice came from the other side of the phone.

"Yeah squirt, I'll be there around three-fifteen to make sure Casey and Sam aren't there. That sound cool?" I asked.

"Sounds perfect, see you then." She said excited.

"Love you."

"I love you too Der." She whispered into the phone and then hung up.

I hung up my phone and slid it back into my pocket. I walked back over to the bench and sat down beside Kaylie. Her eyes were glazed over, like she was in thought, and I shook her shoulders trying to get her attention.

"Hmm?"

"I have to go earlier than I expected." I said with a sad tone. I really like talking to Kaylie, she's a lot like Casey, but she's different in a special way…

"Oh, ok," she said looking just as sad as she sounded, "You coming back?"

"Duh! You had to sit through my whole life story, so now I can't wait to hear yours." She smiled a wide smile, and I couldn't help but to give her a smile just as big. "I have to go now, but I will be back as soon as I can." I pulled a pen out of my pocket and took her hand in mine. "Here is my phone number, call me tomorrow and we can go do something."

"Sounds good." She said blushing.

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, "Thank you for everything Kaylie, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," she breathed as I turned around to walk back to the grocery store to get my truck.

I have no clue what came over me when I kissed her on the cheek, but it felt good. It felt for like for that one moment I was happy again. Now I have to go back to the house and face everything, but I will come back to this town and get to know Kaylie better._ If I can't have Casey, then I guess I'll have to go for second best…_ I feel really bad about thinking like this, but that is really what the situation is like.

I hopped in the truck and started on my way home. I still have about an hour and thirty minutes till Casey and Sam leave, but I might as well leave. As I drove down the highway I tried to think about Kaylie, but every time I tried to picture her in my mind, she would morph into Casey. _How am I going to get over her?_ I turned up the radio louder trying to get _her_ out of my head; a song that I had heard coming from Casey's room the night that her and Max had broken up was playing. I never listened to the lyrics the night that I first heard it, but now I soaked them in like a sponge, realizing these lyrics were my life.

_Broken this fragile thing now  
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces  
And I've thrown my words all around  
But I can't, I can't give you a reason_

I can't look at Casey now, much less talk to her. She is with Sam now. My heart has always been fragile, I just covered up the fact that it was, by being a jerk. Now it is broken and I am all alone now. I don't have a family anymore. How is it possible that I lost my family and the love of my life all in less than a week? God must be punishing me for being such a terrible person, only using people for my personal gain.

_I feel so broken up (so broken up)  
And I give up (I give up)  
I just want to tell you so you know  
_

I can't tell Casey how I feel about her. That would only make her feel guilty. She apparently loves Sam and wants to be with him. I have to let her go… right?

_Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do  
You are my only, my only one  
_

Casey is the only girl I have ever_ loved._ She is my _Only One_…

_Made my mistakes, let you down  
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long  
Ran my whole life in the ground  
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone_

I've always just kind of used girls; but it's not what it seems. When my mom left, I didn't tell anyone how I was taking it, I just kept it to myself. The truth is, I was completely shattered by my mom leaving. I thought that she left because I was too much of a wimp as a child, so I toughened up. I became the great _Derek Venturi_; the heartbreaker. I used girls to fill the void my mom left in my heart when she left. Then when Casey moved in I had to cover my feelings for her by messing with her all the time, pranking her, and being a total jerk. But little did I know that she would break my heart worse than my mother did.

_And something's breaking up (breaking up)  
I feel like giving up (like giving up)  
I won't walk out until you know  
_

Now, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. _I'm lost_

_Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do  
You are my only, my only one_

I guess I can try to tell her how I feel about her, but what would that do? She is going to marry Sam, and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to move on. I will put all my efforts into finding Marti.

_Here I go so dishonestly_  
_Leave a note for you my only one_  
_And I know you can see right through me_  
_So let me go and you will find someone_

When I get to the house I am going to leave her a note and tell her how I feel; that's the best I can do. I will tell her that I am going to move on and be as happy as I can be for her and for me. She has found Sam, and I have found Kaylie._ Am I just settling? Should I fight for her?_

_Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you_  
_You are my only one_  
_I let go, there's just no one, no one like you_  
_You are my only, my only one_  
_My only one_  
_My only one_  
_My only one_  
_You are my only, my only one_

Casey is my _Only One_…

When the song stopped all I could do was replay it in my head. It was on a continuous loop in my mind, and all I could think about was Casey. The rest of the drive I had to keep myself from breaking down into tears. When I finally pulled up in the driveway I saw that Casey and Sam had already left. I parked the truck and got out. Walking through the front door, I saw Lizzie sitting on the couch holding a brown teddy-bear in her lap, crying her eyes out. When her eyes landed on me, she jumped up from the couch and ran into my arms.

"Derek! You're back!" she hugged me so tight that I almost passed out from the lack of oxygen.

"Hey Liz" I said, hugging her back just as hard.

"Why did you leave Derek?" she asked looking up at me.

"Well, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything." I lead her to the couch and we sat down.

I told her about why I left and where I went. I told her it was the place Casey and I were at when the accident happened. Then I got to the part about seeing Ed.

"Wait. Hold on. You saw Edwin?" she asked, her eyes growing wider.

"Yeah, I got into my truck, and there he was, sitting in the passenger seat."

"What did he say!" she asked excited._ Thank goodness! She doesn't think I'm crazy!_

"Well I told him about the whole Casey and Sam thing, he went crazy, and he wanted me to tell you something." Her eyes grew even wider and I had her full attention.

"W-what was it?" she stuttered out.

"That he loves you, always have, and that he will always be with you no matter what." I said smiling down at her. Her eyes filled with tears and she clutched on to the teddy-bear in her arms tighter. "He also said that it's ok to move on from him. He wants you to be happy." I finished. The water-works really started then.

"H-h-he really s-said that?" she asked, wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Yes he did." She reached over and hugged me tears streaming down her face.

"Thank you for coming and telling me that Derek." She said into my chest.

"You're welcome squirt." I said with a smile.

After that we just sat there and talked. We talked mostly about Edwin and how odd he was. Come to find out that the teddy-bear Lizzie was holding was a prize that Ed won her on their first date. We talked about Kaylie, and if I should move on this quickly. Then we got on to the topic of Sam and Casey.

"She hasn't told me a thing, and I'm kind of afraid to ask. She looks like she can break at any minute." She said, playing with one of the teddy-bears ears.

"Oh" was all I could say.

"Yeah, Sam spent the night and then went back to his house to get some clothes. I think he's kind of moving in…"

"Well I guess that's about right."

"Derek, please stay" she begged me.

"I can't Liz. I can't stay here knowing that I have lost my family and Casey."

"But Der, you haven't lost me. I'm still here." She pouted, "Can I come with you if you don't stay?"

"No, you have to stay here with Casey." I said shaking my head.

"But Der-"

"I'm sorry Liz. You have to stay here. End of discussion." I said putting my foot down.

"Can you at least call every once in a while?" she asked as more tears welled up in her eyes.

"Every day."

She leaned over and hugged me again. I looked at the clock over her head and it read _11:34 pm. I have to go… this is going to be hard._

"Lizzie," I said pulling her away from me, "I have to go now."

"No!" she cried.

"Yes. I will call you in the morning and we will talk. Ok?" I said stroking her hair like I use to do when I tried to calm Marti down.

"O-o-ok…"

"I'm going to leave Casey a note Will you give it to her?"

"Y-yeah." She answered wiping her tears.

I got up and found a piece of paper and a pen. I wrote down my heart on that little piece of paper, and when I was done I folded it in half and wrote her name on the outside. After I finished that, I ran up to my room and pulled out my duffle bag, throwing every article of clothing that was laying on my floor into it. I walked back into the living room and found Lizzie standing by the door. I handed the note to her and grabbed my jacket from the coat rack and put it on. I played with my keys not wanting to go.

"Well Liz, I guess this is good-bye for now…" I said trying to say good-bye to the only person who cares about me now.

"Don't say good-bye Derek. Please don't." tears started falling from her eyes.

"I'll see you soon?" I gave a suggestion.

"I'll s-s-see you s-soon." She sobbed as she wrapped her arms around me.

When she finally let go I walked out the door and got in the truck. Tears blurred my vision, but I had to go to keep from running into Casey. I drove off into the night thinking about how I just broke my little sister's heart by leaving her there.

* * *

**Ta-da! I hope you loved it! Here are some things I need to point out:**

**I know you are probably thinking that Derek is being a total cry-baby and can't walk two feet with out crying, but before you start screaming "He's OOC!" let me explain. He is broken up about losing Casey and his family, how else would he feel?**

**You're probably thinking that Kaylie is getting a little too cozy with Derek. How I thought about it was that she didn't know about his drama with Casey yet, and she thought he really liked her, so she was trying to be a little flirty.**

**In the story so far I haven't really said anything about Marti, and I have just been putting little thoughts here and there. That is about to change...:)**

**I can't wait for you guys to see the letter Derek left for Casey! I love the idea I have for it:)))**

**Please review! Without your reviews, I feel like I'm slacking. And I want to know how you guys feel about this long of a chapter, because I'm thinking about putting more effort into making them longer:)**


	9. Things Are Not Always What They Seem

**Here is chapter 9! Since we had a snow day today, and it didn't snow:( I worked on this chapter all day. Ok, to be truthful, this is the worst chapter of the whole story. I have gotten too comfortable writing in Derek's POV and I feel awkward writing in Casey's POV. This chapter is really just the background of what Casey was doing in chapters 7 and 8 because the information is crucial to the story. Things I need to point out:**

**1) Casey and Sam don't know that Derek knows Sam was proposing.**

2) If there are some words that are supposed to contain "O's" and they do not have them, I am sorry. My "O" key is sticky and sometimes won't work. I tried to make sure that there were no missing "O's" and I am sorry if there are any mistakes concerning it.

3) Most of this chapter is flashbacks (_Italics_**) and in the flashbacks, Casey's thoughts are in regular font (**Like this**)**

**4) I am sorry for the crappy quality of this chapter... but I still hope you enjoy it:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD, blah, blah, blah. (**insert witty comment about me and Michael Seater**)- ;)**

* * *

As Sam drove to the funeral home, I couldn't help but to think of the past night, and how my life crumbled into a million pieces in just a few hours.

"_CASEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I heard a voice boom from behind me; it wasn't the voice I expected. I turned around and look the person in the eyes._

"_S-S-Sam… Uh… What are y-y-you doing h-here?" I stuttered, holding the bottle of vodka in my shaking hand._

_Sam and I haven't seen each other since before the accident. We had, yet another, nasty break up right after Thanksgiving. We tried to make it work one last time, on my part though; I just wanted to make Derek jealous. It didn't work… The moral of the story is, don't try to make people jealous, it only brings heartache._

"_I was coming to see how you and Derek were holding up. It looks as if you're not doing too well…" he said, his eyes shifting down to the bottle in my hand._

"_S-Sam… I-"_

"_Save it Casey. Do you know how dangerous this is?" he asked pulling the bottle out of my hand._

"_I-I-"_

"_It's really dangerous! D.A.N.G.E.R.O.U.S!" he spelled out the word to me, "Casey you know all of the problems I have had with my dad and drinking. Why would you do this?"_

"_I-it helps-s the pain g-g-go way…" I said turning around so he couldn't see the guilt in my eyes. I know that drinking isn't a way to solve my problems, but it takes away the pain._

_I felt his hands wrap around my shoulders and he spun me around to where I was staring straight into his green, piercing eyes. I use to love those eyes, but now I am in love with a pair of warm, brown eyes. Eyes that would be ashamed of me if they saw me now. _He would be so ashamed…

"_I d-don't want t-to be like this S-Sam… I just w-w-want the p-pain to go away." I said in-between sobs. He held my shoulders tight and pulled me into a hug._

"_I'm going to help you through this Case. Derek and I will be here every step of the way." I pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes._

"_Derek cannot know about this Sam. I don't want him to be ashamed of me. I don't want him to think that I have totally lost it. You cannot tell him!" I said poking him in the chest._

"_But Case, he needs to know."_

"_No he doesn't! He cannot know about any of this." I said as I stormed off into the kitchen to dispose of the bottle, knowing that it was the finally bottle that would touch my lips. _

_I pushed the kitchen door open and walked directly to the trashcan. As I dropped the bottle I watched it disappear into darkness, hearing a thud as it hit the bottom. Tear slipped from my eyes as I thought about how I was going to have to give up my pain reliever. I turned around and saw Sam staring at me with a big smile on his face._

"_At-a-" _

"_Hey Case, we have a-" Derek said interrupting Sam. He stopped mid sentence and saw that it wasn't just me in the kitchen, "Sam?"_

"_Hey D." Sam said as he waved at Derek. Sam looked nervously between me and Derek… _this is awkward, he better not say a word.

"_What are you doing here?" he asked Sam. _

"_Just came to see how you were doing, seeing if there was anything ya'll needed."_

"_Oh, ok" Derek replied as he pulled his attention back to me, "Umm, Case, we have a big problem."_

"_W-what is it?' I asked scared. _What if he found out…

"_It seems that a certain somebody, that is supposed to be on bed rest until she recovers, has climbed out of the window." _

"_What! Derek we have to find her! She can't be walking around this much!" I screamed as I started to run out of the kitchen, stumbling a little._

_I ran to the coat rack and threw on my flannel jacket as I waited for Sam and Derek to get to the door. I planned where we would go look first, and who would go where. Finally Derek and Sam we standing beside me putting on their jackets._

"_Ok, we need to split up and look for her. I will go to the park, Derek, you go to the soccer field, and Sam, go to the diner. We will meet back here in thirty minutes. We have to find her." I said before I walked out of the door to walk towards the park. I tripped and stumbled, but I didn't care how drunk I was, I was going to find my baby sister. _

_After I got across the street I heard footsteps coming from behind me. I quickened my pace, but that only made me trip and make my head spin. Soon Sam was walking right beside me._

"_What are you doing here? I told you to go to the diner!" I screeched at him._

"_I know, but I'm not going to let you walk around by yourself when you are drunk."_

"_Fine, that just means that when we are done here, we have to go to the diner." I said as I kept walking, not giving up on finding my sister._

_We walked through the park in silence, every few feet me yelling Lizzie's name, and me tripping over twigs is the only thing that was heard. When we didn't find her, we went ahead and walked to the diner. There was no sight of her there either. I just prayed that Derek had found her and they were already at home, but when we walked back to the house Derek's truck was still gone._

"_Where could they be?" I said, really to myself._

"_I don't know, but I'm sure Derek found her." Sam said as he walked towards me, "Come on, let's go inside." He grabbed my hand and we walked into the house._

_Once we walked in the house I dropped his hand and walked over to the couch to sit down. I played with a piece of string that was hanging from the edge, and prayed that Lizzie was ok. I felt the weight of the couch shift and I looked to find Sam sitting beside me._

"_Case, it's going to be ok," he said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. _

"_Umm… Sam we need to talk…" I said uncomfortably shifting from under his arm._

"_Ok?" he said confused, "What do you want to talk about?" _

"_You know that there is nothing between us, right?" _this is so awkward…

"_Yeah," he huffed, "I know that you and I are never going to happen again… but I guy can try can't he?" he asked with a cute, little smile._

_I giggled at his face. Sam was a really good friend, we just weren't meant to be together. I looked up at the clock and it read 11:43 pm. Where are Derek and Lizzie? I picked up my phone and dialed Derek's number. I called him five times with no answer. When I started to dial his phone number for the sixth time, he called me back. I didn't even give him time to speak before I started yelling into the phone._

"_Derek! Why haven't you been answering your phone? Have you found her?" I blurted out, hoping he was in the car with my sister on the way here._

"_Yes I found her; we're at the soccer field. We'll be home in about ten minutes." He didn't even give me time to react before he had hung up the phone._

"_So, did he find her?" Sam asked his voice full of worry for my baby sister._

"_Yes," I said as a big smile spread across my face and tears welled up in my eyes, "He's bringing her home now."_

_I flopped down on the couch and cried. I don't really know why, I just need to cry it felt like. They were tears of happiness mixed with tears of sorrow; it was an awful sensation. But all I know was that my baby sister was ok; well one of them. Marti is still missing, and I haven't even asked Derek how he is feeling about it. Chris hasn't called us with any update about her, and I'm getting really worried. _What if they are _never_ able to find her? Don't think like that Casey, they will find her. _I sat on the couch waiting for the sound of Derek's truck, then I got too impatient and walked outside to wait for them._

_It was a cool August night and the moon was shining brightly in the sky. I looked up at the moon, staring into its milky, white composure. It was beautiful. I stood there mesmerized when I heard Sam walk up behind me. He put a hand on my shoulder and looked up at the sky._

"_What are you thinking about Case?"_

"_Everything… how Derek and I are going to become parents to my little sister, how we're going to find Marti, how I'm going to make it through all of this…"_

"_Wait, what do you mean 'find Marti'?" he spun me to look in to his eyes._

"_Marti is missing. They didn't find her in the car after the a-accident…" I broke down in sobs._ You would think by now I wouldn't have anymore tears…

"_What? But how?"_

"_We don't know, we're waiting for a call on any news about it," I said wiping away my tears right as I saw Derek's truck coming down the road. I ran over to the driveway and waited until he stopped the truck to open Lizzie's door. I pulled her out and hugged her as hard as I could._

"_Oh my gosh Lizzie! Don't you ever do that to me again!" I said as I hugged her harder._

"_I'm… sorry… Case… can't… breath!" she gasped and I loosened my hug on her._

"_Oh, I'm sorry Liz," I said pulling away from her. I looked at her face and it was glistening with sweat. "Why are you all sweaty?"_

"_Derek played one-one-one with me," she said smiling. I could feel my anger boiling under the surface._

"_Lizzie, could you go inside for a little bit so I can talk to Derek and Sam alone?" I asked trying to keep my composure._

"_Sure. I'll go take a shower," she walked over to Derek and hugged him tight. She whispered something, and he whispered back with a big grin. Then she giggled and walked up to the house._

_I turned on Derek right as the front door closed. I let my anger out and didn't really care who heard me, or who I woke up._

"_Derek Carson Venturi!" I screeched at the top of my lungs, "What the hell did you think you were doing playing soccer with my sister that just got out of the hospital yesterday?"_

"_Casey, she just needed a wa-" _

"_I don't even want to hear it!" I interrupted him, not wanting to hear his excuses, "You shouldn't have done that Derek! She could have been hurt!" I said letting all my anger out, feeling my face get redder and redder with each word._

"_Calm down Case. Let's go inside and discuss this rationally." Sam interjected and I agreed willingly._

"_Ok, but don't think you're off the hook," I said pointing a finger towards Derek._

_As I walked into the house I tripped. The alcohol from earlier was still present in my body, and I was still a little wobbly. But that didn't stop me from yelling at Derek. I turned around right as I entered the door and confronted him._

"_Derek, I am going to give you two seconds to tell me why you were playing soccer with my little sister at eleven o'clock at night when she should be recovering… Speak." I said glowering at him._

"_Well she was really upset about… well… you know," he stated apparently not wanting Sam to know what was happening earlier, "So she started to walk to the soccer field, wanting to be normal again. I begged her to get in the truck and come back home, but she just ignored me and kept walking, until I made a deal with her. I promised I would play one-on-one with her until she tired herself out as long as she came home with me right after." I looked into his eyes and saw that he was telling the truth._

"_Why would you make that deal with her knowing that she shouldn't be doing any physical activity?"_

"_She just needed to feel normal Casey, if only for one night. Everything has been taken away from her and she just wanted to feel normal. She needed to have some fun. Don't be mad at her, if you need to be mad at anyone, it's me."_ Ugh, I feel so bad for yelling at him…

"_I'm not mad at anyone Derek, I was just worried and I let it get the best of me. I'm sorry." I walked up to him and gave him a big hug; kind of falling into it._

"_What is wrong with you Casey?" he asked as he pulled me up to look into my eyes._

"_W-what do you mean?"_

"_I know that you're naturally clumsy, but come on Case, you haven't walk two feet without tripping all day. What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing D-Derek. I'm f-f-fine!" I stuttered._ Crap… he's catching on.

"_Casey, stop lying, tell me wh-"_

"_Derek, she said she was fine." Sam interrupted._

_Derek gave Sam the most vicious look I have ever seen on his face. It looked as if he was in deep though, thinking of whether or not to take Sam out right then and there. _

"_This has nothing to do with you Sam. Maybe you should go home." He said glowering at Sam._

_Sam looked at me making sure I was going to be ok with him leaving and I nodded, tears glistening in my vision. This made Derek look even more furious at Sam._

"_It's ok Sam, you can go." _

"_What? Now he needs permission from you to leave when I practically told him to?" Derek asked, enraged._

"_Der-ek! Don't be mean; Sam just wants to make sure I'm alright. That's all." I said, more tears welling up in my eyes. _

"_I can act however the hell I want to! This is my house and I am kicking you out!" He yelled pointing at Sam._

"_I'll see you tomorrow Case." Sam said backing up, slowly towards the door._

_If it were possible, I think that steam would be rolling out of Derek's ears by know. His face turned red as he walked with Sam to the door and slammed it in his face._ What has gotten into him?

"_DER-EK! What was that for?" I screeched._

"_He is not allowed here anymore." He growled._

"_Why not? He hasn't done anything Derek!" I said, getting madder and madder._

"_I don't want him here, and that's it. No changing my mind. He is never allowed in my house ever again."_

"_What? Did you just say your house? Since when did it become yours? It's just as much mine and Lizzie's as it is yours!"_ How dare he think that he is the only one that lives in this house.

"_I don't care whose house it is! All I know is that as long as I am living here, he is not to step foot through that door!" he barked at me_

"_Whatever! I will just see him at his house then!" I said as I started walking towards the front door._ Sam is the only one who knows about my problem, I need him here to help me. If he can't step foot inside this house, then Derek is just forcing me to his.

"_Oh no you won't." he said gripping onto my forearm._

"_You can't tell me what to do!"_

"_Yes I can! I don't want you going near him, is that understood?"_

"_Stop trying to be like George!" I yelled before I even understood what I was saying._

_His grip loosened on my arm and he stumbled back, pain stretching across his face. _I crossed the line. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have even thought about saying that._ Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized what I had done. Derek kept stepping back, tears falling from his face onto his shirt. I walked towards him with my arms stretched out._

"_Derek, I didn't mean to, I wa-"_

"_Get away from me." he said as he bolted up the stairs._

_Him leaving me standing there like that sent a sharp pain through my heart. Tears came out of my eyes like a facet. My automatic response was to dive for the liquor cabinet, but I stopped mid-step._ I don't need it. I am strong. I don't need it._ Even though I chanted this in my head, I still walked towards the cabinet. I opened it and pulled out a bottle of champagne and ran up to my room. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Sam's number. After the third ring he answered. _

"_S-S-Sam…" I stuttered through sobs._

"_Casey, what's wrong? Did Derek hurt you?" he asked, worry filling his voice._

"_N-no, Derek d-d-didn't h-hurt me. C-can you c-c-come over?" _

"_How am I going to get in? Derek said I couldn't step foot in your house…"_

"_Umm… I'll o-open my w-w-window and you can climb through." I said as I got up shakily, and walked over to my window to open it._

"_Ok, I'll be there in just a second." He said as he hung up._

_I sat on my bed crying. I jumped at the sound of Derek pounding on the wall that joined our two rooms; this made me cry even harder. Then I looked up and saw Sam sitting in the tree beside my room. I walked over and watched him gracefully jump from the limb, through my window. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me and sat me down on my bed, kneeling in front of me._

"_Case, what happened?"_

"_D-Derek was yelling, I w-w-wasn't thinking, I t-told him to s-stop acting like G-G-George…" I said incoherently, bursting into sobs._

"_Shhh…." Sam gently wrapped his arms around me and started stroking my hair._

"_I was going t-to drink…" I said as I started wiping at my tears, and pointed down at the bottle sitting beside me._

"_Casey, you don't need this," he said as he lifted up the bottle, "You don't need it."_

"_I know," he sat the bottle down beside his knee and took my hands in his._

"_Casey, you are strong, you can make it through this without drinking." Just then Derek barged in the room with Lizzie at his side._

"_Hey Case, we wer-" I looked at Derek's face and then looked at the way me and Sam were sitting._

"_Derek! Lizzie! This isn't what it looks like!" I screamed. _Crap, Derek doesn't want him in the house!

"_Lizzie, go to your room" he ordered to my little sister._

"_But Derek!" she pouted_

"_NOW!" and with that she left._

"_Derek, this isn't what you think it is," I said as I got up and started to walk towards him._

"_I can't believe you. And you Sam! How could you d-do this to your best friend! You w-were like a-a-a brother to me!" He yelled at Sam as he back towards the door._ What is he talking about?

"_D, let's just talk about this."_

_But before either Sam or I could say anything else Derek was running down the stairs. We both ran after him as fast as we could, but he was already in the truck starting the engine._

"_Derek! Please come back! Please Derek!" I screamed after him, but she just pealed out of the driveway leaving me standing in the yard._

After he drove off, Emily rushed over to see what happened. Everything after that just seemed to blur all together in my memory. There were no tears, but just fuzziness. I remember Sam carrying me back into the house, and Emily trying to get me to snap out of it, but I just couldn't. Derek was gone. He left me here all by myself. _Why did he leave?_

I didn't sleep at all last night. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Derek's pain stricken face. Sam and Emily tried everything to get me to sleep, but I just couldn't. I vaguely remember Sam talking to Em about him going home to get some clothes so he could stay at the house and watch over me and Liz.

Now we are on our way to the funeral home to get everything arranged. _I really wish Derek was the one doing this with me; not Sam._ We left Lizzie at the house while we came to do this; she's too young for this. I was going to get Em to come and watch her, but then Jamie called and said he would come over and keep her company, and I thought it would be good for her to see her best friend and get her mind off of everything.

She took it really hard when she found out that Derek left. She sat at the top of the stairs and balled her eyes out for hours. She went up to Ed's room at about five and fell asleep and woke up at about twelve. Sam tried to get her to eat and she refused. I just sat on the couch still in shock, until I heard her refuse food.

"_I said I don't want anything Sam! Just go home!" she screamed as she through a bowl of cereal on the floor._

"_Elizabeth Marie McDonald!" I yelled as I got off of the couch and walked into the kitchen, "You will not talk to Sam like that! Now sit down and eat." I picked up the bowl and poured her more cereal._

"_But Casey, I don't want him here! I want Derek!" she screamed as tears fell from her light-brown eyes._

"_Well Derek left us! He left us here, and we have to move on!"_

"_Is that what you've been doing? Moving on? You haven't moved from the couch since he left!" she retorted back._

"_Look Lizzie, Derek left, he's probably not coming back. We need Sam here for right now." I said calming down._

"We_? No Casey, you need Sam, not me!" with that she ran up to her room._

After I finally snapped out of it I tried calling Derek a million times, but he never answered. I left him tons of messages, but he never called back._ He hates me…_

Tears fell down my face as I looked out of the window of the car._ How did my life end up like this? My family is dead, the guy I love left me, and now my sister hates me… _I felt a hand pull mine over the armrest; I looked over and saw Sam looking at me.

"We're here."

I nodded my head and got out of the car. Sam was at my side in two seconds, and we were walking towards the door of the funeral home.

"I can't d-do this, n-not without Derek." I whispered.

"Casey, I know, but we have to do this." He said as he grabbed my hand and kept walking. His hand didn't have the same calming effect on me as Derek's did.

We walked in the door and walked up to the gray-headed lady sitting behind a desk. There were papers sitting everywhere in nice, neat piles, and she was looking intensely at one of the. Sam cleared his throat and she looked up at us with a smile.

"Why hello dears, can I help you with something?" I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"We have an appointment." Sam interjected, saving me from falling apart.

"Yes, you must be Derek Venturi?" she asked.

"Umm… No, Derek couldn't make it today. I'm Sam Richards." He answered politely.

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that he couldn't make it… And you must be Casey McDonald?" she asked looking towards me.

I nodded my head to afraid to say anything from the threat of tears. She nodded her head at me and motioned us to follow her. We entered the back room that was filled with caskets. Blue ones, pink ones, black ones, white ones, wooden ones, ones with satin, ones with lace; you name it, they had it. There was an old man standing in the room and greeted us warmly.

"Hello I am Mr. Talbet, I'm so sorry about your loss," he said as the lady walked over to him and he wrapped an arm around her. "This is my wife, Mrs. Tabet." He said gesturing towards her. "Well, are you ready to get started?" We both nodded. "Who first?" he questioned on.

"M- my m-m-mom's" I stuttered out.

"Ok, then let's get started." Mr. Talbet said as he led us to a white casket with a light-pink satin lining.

It looked like something mom would have picked out. Pink was her favorite color, and I couldn't see her in any other casket than this one. I looked up to Mr. Talbet and nodded my head as tears ran down my face. Sam pulled me into his side and I leaned my head on to his shoulder, as Mr. Talbet brought us to another casket.

I ended up picking a classic black one with a black satin lining for George, and a grey one also with black satin lining for Ed. I didn't pick one out for Marti, not knowing where she was, and also the fact that I didn't have the courage. The whole time I was picking out George and Ed's caskets all I could think was;_ Derek should be picking them out. Is Derek even coming to the funeral? Does he even care?_

We got everything arranged for the funeral to be set for this Friday at noon, and earlier this week I had gotten a reading for the will on that day, so it worked out well. When we were done Sam and I said our goodbyes to Mr. and Mrs. Talbet, and walked out to the car. We still had to go to my apartment and bring everything home. I decided that since Derek left, I needed to quit University and take care of Lizzie.

My place was about thirty minutes from the funeral home, so it didn't take us long. We got out and walked up the stairs to my door. _I haven't been here since the night I moved in_ I thought to myself as I opened the door. We walked in and tears welled up in my eyes._ This is the last place I was truly happy in…_

Sam tried to hug me, but I pushed him away and started throwing stuff into boxes. Sam kept on trying to talk to me, but I would just walk into the other room and start throwing some more stuff into different boxes. He didn't understand that I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk about my family, I don't want to talk about my problem, I don't want to talk about Lizzie, and I definitely don't want to talk about Derek. I had tried calling him, but yet again he didn't answer; I settled on leaving him a voicemail that told him when and where the funeral was going to be. I packed everything pretty much on my own in about two hours. Sam mostly brought everything down to the car and threw it in either the backseat or the trunk, and then we were off.

As the darkness flew past the car, I couldn't help but to think about Derek. I thought about his smile, his eyes, how him holding my hand would send butterflies through my stomach. _What if last night was the last time I would see him? What if he never comes back? _I cried the rest of the way home.

When we got to the house Lizzie was asleep on the couch, clutching a teddy-bear in her arms. I told Sam that I didn't want to wake her and to leave my stuff in the car.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" he whispered, trying not to wake her.

"Umm… Well I guess you can sleep in Derek's room since he's not here…" I said not really wanting him to sleep in there, but it was either there or in Derek's chair. I just couldn't let him sit there.

"Ok. See you in the morning" he said as he walked up the stairs.

I picked up a blanket from the floor and draped it over Lizzie's sleeping form. She looked so peaceful as she slept, and I hoped that sleep would come to me that peacefully. I trudged up the stairs and as I walked past Derek's open door, with Sam laying in the bed, my breath caught in my throat and I sprinted to the bathroom. I flung my head over the toilet and gagged. Tears rolled down my face and I couldn't breathe. After I stopped gagging, I sat on the bathroom floor trying to calm myself, failing miserably.

When I finally entered my room I turned off the lights and collapsed on my bed. The only light that pierced the darkness were the red lights that blinked the time on my clock._ 12:43 pm._ I closed my eyes waiting for sleep to overcome me. I laid there and thought of Derek and sleep finally welcomed me with open arms.

I woke up to someone screaming. I bolted out of bed and opened my door as fast as I could. Lizzie was standing outside of Derek's door screaming incoherent things at Sam.

"What the hell are you doing in there!" she screeched so loud it hurt my ears.

"You were asleep on the couch and I had nowhere else to sleep!" he said defending himself.

"So! That doesn't mean you can go and take over Derek's room! You should have slept at your house!" she yelled back.

"Lizzie, what did I tell you about talking to Sam like that?"

"I don't care Casey! He is the reason that Derek is gone! How could you say yes to marry him Casey!" she asked through her tears, "Derek loves you and you just broke his heart like that!" she pulled something from the pocket of her pajama's and threw it at me, "Derek left that here for you last night when he came to say goodbye to me." and with that she ran down the stairs, and I heard the front door slam.

_What is she talking about me marrying Sam? Derek was here last night?_

I bent down and picked up what Lizzie threw at me. It was a small, folded up piece of paper that had my name written on the outside in Derek's sloppy handwriting. I unfolded it and started to read the small handwriting.

_Dear Case,_

_This isn't how I wanted to say goodbye, but it's the only way. I can't even imagine trying to tell you this to your face, because I know that if I did, I wouldn't be able to leave. This is the way it must be._

_I love you Casey McDonald, I have since the day I met you. I never had the courage to tell you, but since I am leaving, you have the right to know. I am leaving because I love you. I can't stand to see you with Sam, but if that's where you want to be, then I can't get in the way. _

_I will return for the funeral, but I will be there from a distance. I will not be coming back after that. I have decided that I'm going to find Marti, and that I won't contact you again until I do. _

_I know this sounds crazy, but I love you Casey, and I can't stand to see you with him. It's just the best for both of us if I go. Hope you are happy with Sam, you will make a beautiful bride._

_ I will always love you,  
Derek_

He loves me? I read it over and over again, clinging on to each word he wrote. Questions started to spin in my head and I got dizzy._ He really loves me? He's never coming back? Beautiful bride? Oh no.._ _I have to find him._ I grabbed my phone and dialed his number; it went straight to voicemail._ Crap, his phones turned off…_

"Casey, what's going on?" Sam asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Derek loves me." I barely whispered. I felt tears rushing down my face as I handed him the letter.

"He thinks were together?" he asked confused.

"He thought you were proposing to me yesterday night…" I said piecing it all together.

"What?" Sam asked, utterly confused.

"I'm just as confused as you are… We have to find him."

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**Ugh! I'm sorry I posted this miserable chapter... I hate it... Here is some more things I need to tell you:**

**1)The first number 1 at the top was a total lie if you didn't catch on. Sam never propose to Casey, Derek just thought that he did. I wrote them to not really understand what he thought until after they read the letter.**

**2)The only parts I like about this chapter is when Lizzie goes off on Sam:)**

**3)This chapter is really choppy, but i was having terrible writersblock, and I kept wanting to write in Derek's POV:(**

**4)I really hope that I did Derek's note justice. I thought of just putting_ I love you_ on it, but then that wouldn't really have helped explain everything like I needed it to.**

**5)I hope you don't hate me for this chapter**

**If you don't review, I completely understand, and I don't blame you. But if you feel like reviewing, please do:)  
And I know this is a really sucky chapter, but I am dedicating it to my bestfriend, in honor of her birthday! Happy Birthday Lizzie:)))**


	10. I'm Trying To Heal

**Hello!:) Long time, no see! I know it's been almost two months since I updated, and I am really sorry about that. Softball and school work overtook my life, and then I got hurt by playing softball, so my life has been kind of crazy. But that is no excuse what-so-ever. I hate that it has taken this long to update, but here it is! Chapter 10 is finally here! It is a lot shorter than the last few chapters, but I think its a pretty ok chapter. As I wrote this chapter I was thinking a head of myself, and there are some good things to come up in the next two chapters! I am so excited! But anyways, here is chapeter 10, and I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I have not missed writing this... I do not own LWD... Michael is the hottest guy alive!:D**

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"DEREK!" I screamed jumping up, hitting my head on something.

I opened my eyes and remembered where I was; Sam's car. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. I rubbed my head where it had collided with the dashboard, looked over, and saw Sam staring at me.

"Bad dream…" I mumbled still rubbing my head.

He turned his attention back to the road and turned the music up a little. We had no luck finding Lizzie. She ran out the door and who knows where she is now. She is on her search for Derek, and who knows where the heck he ran off to. _How are we supposed to find him? He could be anywhere in the world by now… _I tried calling him hundreds of times, but he never answered, so I left him messages. I figure Lizzie called him and he answered, and she was going to go where ever he was, but I still felt uneasy about not knowing where she was.

The sun started to rise as Sam pulled into the driveway and parked. He looked over at me with tiredness written all over his face. I couldn't even look at him anymore; I got out of the car and walked up to the door and unlocked it. Walking over to the liquor cabinet, I pulled out a bottle of whiskey, and started walking up the stairs to my room. A firm hand grabbed my arm and spun me around. For a moment I thought it might be Derek, but I was met with blue eyes instead of brown.

"Casey, what do you think you are doing? Don't you think this," he said pulling the bottle from my hand, "has caused us enough trouble for a lifetime?"

"I don't care Sam. Derek left, for good this time, and I don't have to keep up the façade anymore. I can drink all of my pain away and don't have to worry about Derek or Lizzie being upset about it. They both left me! I need this!" I yelled taking the bottle back and running up the rest of the stairs.

Running into my room I turned around and locked the door and slid down to the floor. Pulling the bottle up to my mouth I saw something in the glass. _Mom?_ I pulled the bottle away from my eyes and saw her sitting on my bed.

"M-m-mom?" my hands shook and I dropped the bottle on the floor. My mom looked at me, disappointment spreading across her face just as fast as the brown liquid spread across my pink carpet.

"_Casey, how could you?"_

"Mom, I-I can't b-b-believe you're here…" I said as I ran towards her.

I flung my arms around her and just as fast, she disappeared. I fell onto my bed and I felt anger well up in me. I screamed, kicked, and threw everything and anything I could get my hands on. Sam rammed my locked door and stood there, staring at me, startled. He ran over and wrapped his arms around me. I punched and kicked him, trying to get him away from me, but I lost the fight and exhaustion overtook me. I fell limp in his arms and started to cry as his grip on me got tighter. Being in his arms is nothing like being in Derek's. Sam's arms were warm and inviting, but they didn't send fireworks through me like Derek's did, and that only made me cry more.

"Casey, what happened?" he asked smoothing out my hair.

"M-my m-m-mom was h-here… she saw me d-drinking… and sh-she l-l-look s-so dis-s-sapointed…" I sobbed into his chest.

"Shhhh Casey, it's ok."

"I w-w-will never d-drink again…" I made the promise to me, my mom, and to Sam.

After I finally calmed down my stomach growled. I realized I hadn't eaten in hours and was starving. Sam walked with me down to the kitchen to find me something to eat. I rummaged through the cabinets and found the ingredients to make blueberry pancakes; Derek's favorite. He always wanted me to make them because he thought I made them the best. My stomach growled again and I started mixing the ingredients together. Soon I had a plate stacked with pancakes.

Sam ate seven pancakes while I ate two. We ate in silence after my breakdown, neither of us could think of anything to say. After we cleaned up the kitchen, we decided that we needed to get everything ready for the funeral, seeing as it was in three days. We needed to get George, mom, and Edwin's clothes together and inform everyone on when the funeral was going to be. Mr. Talbet didn't know yet if it was going to be open casket or not, but wanted us to get them some dressier clothes, just in case. Sam decided that he would call everyone and call the newspaper and tell when the date would be while I picked out the clothes.

I walked up the stairs slowly, deciding to pick out Ed's first, with heavy feet. _This is going to be hard…_ I walked up the steps to the attic and walked into Ed's room. Everything was in disarray and I wondered how I was going to find anything for him to wear. I walked over to his closet and pulled open the door.

A mountain of clothes fell on top of me and I fell to the ground underneath them. After a couple of minutes I finally resurfaced and looked around at the clothes splayed across the floor. I saw Ed's favorite shirt sitting about a foot away from me and I reached for it and pulled it over to me. It was a grey polo with tiny black, horizontal stripes. As I looked over it, I couldn't help but think that this shirt was the only thing I could see Ed getting buried in.

I got up from the pile of clothes and looked around for some pants for him to wear. I saw a pair of dark-wash blue jeans and picked them up. I grabbed a pair of socks from his drawer and his good shoes. I didn't know if it was really necessary for him to have shoes, but I just wanted to be prepared.

I left the pile of clothes laying on the floor, planning on come back and cleaning it up later, and walked downstairs. Sam was sitting on the couch telling someone when the funeral was. I walked past him and into the kitchen. I folded Ed's clothes and sat them on the counter trying to stall from going into mom and George's room. Sam walked in the room and put the phone on the counter beside Ed's clothes.

"Well everyone has been informed," Sam said as he looked down at the clothes I picked for Ed, "That's funny."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"That shirt is what I pictured you picking out for him…" he trailed off.

"It was the only thing I could see him wearing, and it will look good with the casket." I said running my hand over the shirt.

"Have you picked out your mom and George's clothes yet?"

"No, I haven't gotten enough nerve to go down there…"

"Do you want me to go with you?" He asked holding out his hand.

"Sure." I said taking his hand and he started to lead me to the basement.

We walked up to the door and my stomach twisted in an uncomfortable way. Sam reached out a hand and twisted the knob slowly.

"Wait!"

"What is it Case?" Sam asked looking at me with a bewildered expression.

"I don't know if I can do this Sam…" I said letting go of his hand and sliding down to the ground in front of my parents' room, "I'm not ready for them to be g-gone." My voice quivered and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Casey, it's ok. I will be here with you to help, I promise."

"They weren't supposed to die Sam! They were supposed to watch Derek and I go to college, come to my wedding, watch Marti grow into a beautiful teenager, see Ed succeed with his studies, and see Lizzie grow up to be the best soccer player in Canada! They weren't supposed to die…" I finished in a whisper.

"I'm sorry to say this Casey, and I might regret it, but I have too," he started pulling me up to my feet, "George was really important to me. When my dad used to get drunk and beat me, I knew I could come to this house and find refuge with George. He was like the dad I never had, and I will never forget that." He paused and closed his eyes as if he was reliving what he was telling me. "But I have come to terms that he is not going to be here to save me anymore, he's gone. I need you to realize this too Casey", he said opening his eyes slowly, "George, your mom and Ed are gone, and they're not coming back."

"I know…" I whispered holding back my fear, anger, and tears. _Sam is right, I need to get a hold of myself and do this. I am the only one who is here to do it._

"Ok, so are you ready now?"

"Yes." I held my head high and waited for Sam to open the door.

The smell of my mom's perfume hit my face hard. The smell of her floral perfume made me want to breakdown on the spot, but I couldn't help but inhale deeply. Sam looked at me and gave me a worried look, but I smiled back at him and he proceeded into the room. As I looked around the room more tears threatened to spill from my eyes. The room was in total disarray. I hoped that they were hiding and were going to jump out of now where and tell me this was all a joke; but that was never going to happen. The comforter was half hanging off the bed, pillows strode every-which-way, and clothes laid on top of the bed. It was as if they had just been getting ready for work and just left.

I walked over to my mom's jewelry box and ran my fingers over the delicate objects that laid inside of it. Pearls, diamonds, rubies, flowed out of the small wooden box; my hand touching every one of them. _She will never wear any of these ever again. _Tears filtered from my eyes and Sam was at my side in the same second.

"You ok? I can do this if you need me to…" he offered.

"N-no," I said wiping away tears, "I can do this." I abandoned the jewelry box and walked over to George's closet.

I pulled open the door and saw roughly twenty suits, ranging in different colors, hanging in a row across the closet._ What am I supposed to pick? George's favorite color was brown, but that would clash with the casket I picked for him… I wish Derek was here…_ I pulled out a grey suit with a charcoal undershirt and a black tie; thinking it would look the best with the casket I picked for him. I held it out for Sam to approve.

"Looks good Case."

I laid it down on the bed and moved over to my mom's closet. Pulling open the door I found a disarray of different pantsuits, skirts, and blouses._ What should I pick? Green? Pink? Purple? Pants? Skirt? _I ended up pulling out a deep-blue blouse and black slacks; it would look good with her skin-tone and with the pink and white casket. I grabbed socks and shoes for both and picked up a string of pearls for my mom. Sam helped me pick up everything and we walked out of the room. When we got to the kitchen we put all of the clothes together and put them out so we could take them to the funeral home.

I looked up at the clock and saw that it was _11:11 am. _I closed my eyes and made a wish to myself;_ Please let Lizzie be ok and please let her get to Derek safely. Please. _I opened my eyes and was met with Sam's eyes staring down at me._ He really needs to stop that._

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, just wondering what you were doing."

"I was just wishing for something…" I said lamely

There was a dead silence after that and I slowly walked out of the kitchen, leaving Sam wondering what I was wishing about. Walking into the living room I realized the house was a total wreck, and I started cleaning. I picked up Ed's hockey stick, Lizzie's soccer ball, and Marti's various things and put them beside the stairs so I could take them up later. I pulled the vacuum cleaner out of the closet and let it suck up the crumbs that were sitting on top of the carpet. Picking up the blankets to fold them up, a piece of paper fell from them._ The note._ I forgot that in my rush to go out and find Lizzie, I threw it down and ran out the door. I picked it up and read the words that were written on the paper, even though I could recite them, I had reread it so many times in my mind.

_How could he think that I wanted to marry Sam? Sure we had gone out a couple of times, but I have realized that he will only be a friend to me, Derek knew that. And how could he think that when the past few days have been blissful, even though I have been ridden with pain? I just don't understand! I love him, and I want to be with him, but he is long gone… But wait! He said that he would be back for the funeral! Just because he said he will be watching from a distance doesn't mean I won't go looking for him… I will find him._

I put the blankets in a pile on the couch, walked over to the stairs, and picked up the miscellaneous items sitting on them. I put each item in the correct room and then moved to Ed's room to pick up all of the clothes that spilled out on to the floor. After everything was in its respectful place, I felt a little better and made my way downstairs. Walking into the kitchen I found Sam making sandwiches.

"Would you like one Case?"

"Sure." I said with a small smile as my mouth started to water.

"What kind would you like?" he asked as he finished making his.

"Umm… ham and cheese."

"Okeydokey, coming up." he answered cheerfully.

Soon my sandwich was done and we both sat down to eat. After both being full we both decided that this would be the best time to take the clothes to the funeral home.

"I need to take a shower first before we go. Do you need to take one?" I asked Sam as I walked up the stairs.

"No, I took one while you were cleaning."

"Oh, ok. Be down in a second." I grabbed a towel and rag and made my way to the bathroom.

Turning on the hot water, I let it loosen up my tense muscles. The smell of my peppermint shampoo brought familiarity to me and soothed my racing mind as I thought about Derek. All too soon I stepped out of the shower and the cold air of the real world hit me. As I shivered from the bone-aching cold air I looked into the mirror.

The last time I looked into this mirror I had just suffered my first hangover, now looking at myself I was relieved to the fact that I looked a little like myself. My hair looked a limp, and my cheeks were a little sallower, but besides that I looked like regular, old Casey. I brushed my teeth and then I wrapped my towel around myself and made my way out the door. I got to my closet and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. After I got dressed I quickly blow-dried my hair and pulled on my hoodie and Converse.

Walking down the stairs I met Sam, he already had the clothes in the car, and we walked out the door. The car ride was long and silent. I looked out the passenger window the whole time and watched the trees pass by at a quick rate. Sam finally pulled into the parking lot and we got out with the clothes and walked up to the front door.

"Why hello dears." Mrs. Talbet said with a sweet smile.

"Hello Mrs. Talbet. We brought the clothes for my mom, dad, and brother."

"Oh, well they look wonderful dear." She said taking the clothes out of our hands and walked them into a back room. When she came back she was holding something in her hands. "These are your parent's wedding bands, would you like to keep them?"

I never thought about them not being buried with their wedding bands, but it would be nice to keep that part of them with me.

"Sure, I would love to keep them." I said as I took the small rings from the old woman's hands.

I looked at the two rings sitting in the palm of my hand as Sam and I drove away from the funeral home. George's ring was a simple silver band with nothing extravagant on it at all. Mom's was more intricate and beautiful. It was an antique silver band with an oval diamond in the middle, flanked by two sapphires on each side. It was given to her mom from my great grandma, and it was passed down to my mom, and one day she hoped to pass it down to me._ I doubt this is how she wanted to pass it down to me. _

I slid the ring over my left ring finger slowly; it fit my finger perfectly. I admired it for a few minutes, but took it off and clutched it and George's ring in my hand. Sam gave me a few weird looks, but pretty much kept his eyes on the road. Soon we were home and we both got out of the car. As we were walking in the house phone started to ring._ Derek…_ I sprinted to the phone and answered it as fast as I could, sitting the rings on the counter.

"Derek?"

"Umm… hello?" a girl's voice answered on the other side.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought someone else was calling…" I answered embarrassed.

"It's ok. Is Casey McDonald there?"

"Yes, I am she."_ Who is this?_

"Hi, I am Kaylie. I stole Derek's phone to talk to you…"

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**(**enter 'don, don, don!' music!**) Well this chapter wasn't the best, but I am pretty ok with it. I hate that it is so short, but there wasn't much to put into this chapter except for fluff for the next two chapters. I feel like in this chapter I lost the characters in the story, and I am sorry for that. Just so you know I already have the next chapter in the works and I hope to have it out by next week:) The next two chapters are going to pull everything together, and I hope that I can do the characters justice. Please review and let me know how you feel about this chapter, and if there are any problems you see with it. I would really apperciate your constructive criticism:)**

**Hope to hear from you! **


	11. The Pain Of Another

**Hello!:) I know that it has been longer than I promised, but here is the next chapter. I personally love this chapter, and I hope you do to. And for this chapter you need to know that Derek deleted all of the messages that Casey left him about her and Sam not being together.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD but I love Michael S.:)**

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As I stood at the bus stop, I couldn't help but to think about the hundreds of phone calls I got last night._ 'Derek, it's Casey, Lizzie ran away and I think she is running to you. Call me when you get this, please.' 'Derek, I really need you to answer your phone!' 'Hello, please call me back.' _And the only phone call that I answered brought me to the very bus stop I was standing at.

"_Lizzie, why did you run away?"_

"_I just couldn't take it anymore! It felt like Sam was trying to take your place, and I just couldn't handle it." she cried into the phone._

"_Ok, it's ok Lizzie. Where are you right now?" _

"_I'm walking down the street to the bus station." She answered._

"_Ok, well I don't want you riding a bus at night, so do you think you could crash at Jamie's house for tonight? Do you think that his mom would mind?"_

"_Ummm… I don't think so."_

"_Good. You can catch the first bus in the morning, and I will be waiting for you here." I said, thanking God that she was fine._

"_Derek… where are you exactly?"_

"_Oh, I'm in Brant. It's about an hour and twenty minutes by car, so it should be around two hours for you to get here."_

"_Ok, I'll get the first bus in the morning. Goodnight Derek, I love you."_

"_I love you too Squirt." And with that I hung up the phone._

Now it is _11:11 am_ and Lizzie's bus is rolling towards me. It stops and the doors open to reveal Lizzie standing there with nothing but her cell phone, wearing pink, plaid pajamas. Her eyes twinkled as she hopped off the bus and ran into my arms to give me a bone-crushing hug. _It's strange that I saw her just last night, but I feel like I haven't seen her in years…_

"I'm so glad you made it here safe Liz." I said as I pulled her back to look at her.

"Me too. Derek, you don't know how glad I am to see you. I'm sorry I ran off like I did, I just couldn't stand being around Casey and Sam's love fest. He tried to sleep in your room and I totally lost it, and that's why I ran awa-"

"Calm down Lizzie. It's ok, I understand." I interrupted her rant.

"Good!" she said happily, "So, what have you been up to here?" she asked as we walked towards the motel I'm staying in.

"Just been hanging around at the motel, and spending time with Kaylie…" I said as my face turned five different shades of red.

"Oh yeah! I forgot that Derek 'The Lady's Man' is back," she said as I big smile spread across both hers and my faces, "When am I going to get to meet her?"

"We were actually going to visit her after we get to my room to get you changed."

"Changed? Into what?" she asked.

"I went and bought you an outfit last night when you called, because it sounded like you bolted out of the house without a second thought."

"Oh, thank you Derek! I was really dreading walking around all day wearing my pajamas!" she giggled. I couldn't help but to giggle with her.

"Ok, well here we are," I said as we walked up to my door and unlocked it, "The clothes I got you are in the bathroom."

"Thanks Derek!" she hollered as she ran into the bathroom and about fifteen minutes later she finally resurfaced.

"Wow Derek, I am really surprised," she said as she spun in a circle, "I actually really like this outfit!" she said beaming.

I was really surprised myself. The grey t-shirt with a cartoon earth, with a title underneath it saying, 'Keep Me Safe', and the blue jeans I got her fit almost perfectly.

"Now that you are appropriately dressed, are you ready to go meet Kaylie for lunch?" she giggled and nodded her head.

I grabbed my keys and we walked out to my truck. Since my breakdown last time Kaylie and I went for lunch, we decided it was best not to meet there. Instead we were going to a steak-house about ten minutes from the motel. As we drove we listened to the radio and Lizzie filled me in on what had been happening at home; how Casey had brought everything back from college and how she reacted when Lizzie threw her my letter.

"So you just threw it at her?"

"Yeah, I was really mad and I just chucked it at her." she replied looking down at her hands.

"Wow" that was the only word I could produce.

We pulled up at the steak-house and I spotted Kaylie standing outside of her yellow Jeep Wrangler. Her bright red hair flowed down her back like a waterfall; she was wearing a dark-green shirt with blue jean shorts, and flats. She took my breath away every time I saw her, but it was nothing like the feeling I had when I looked at Casey._ Stop that Derek; forget about her._

She started to walk over to the truck as Lizzie and I started to get out.

"Hey Derek!" she said with a chipper voice.

"Hey Kaylie," Lizzie walked over to my side of the truck and I slung my arm around her shoulders, "This is my little sister Lizzie." I said with a big smile.

"Well, it is nice to finally meet you. Derek has told me so much about you." Kaylie said to Lizzie with a big smile spreading across her face.

"He's told me a lot about you too." Lizzie counteracted.

"I hope it's all good…"

"Trust me, it is." Lizzie replied with a smile of her own.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I am starving." I interrupted.

"Then let's go eat." Kaylie said as she led us into the stake-house.

We walked in and it was a little crowded, but it didn't bother me. As we got seated I caught myself looking around for Casey. I figured that she would have somehow found Lizzie and follow her here, but there has been no site of her.

Lizzie and Kaylie chatted comfortably as I sat back and watched.

"… Yeah, I would really like to Queens and then maybe play soccer professionally." Lizzie said with a triumphant smile.

"Wow, most kids your age are worried about what they are going to wear the next day, and you already have your future planned out? Very impressive!" Kaylie said smiling back.

"Well after you have a keener for a sister I guess it kind of wears off." I said as I tousled Lizzie's hair.

After we finished eating we all went out to Kaylie's jeep and stood around trying to figure out what we wanted to do.

"Well Liz, since it is your first day here what would you like to do?" I asked

"Can we go to the park we passed on the way here?" she asked a smile growing more pronounced on her face.

"Sure we can!" Kaylie said happily, "We can all go in the jeep."

We all pilled in the jeep and I drove to the same park that I told Kaylie my life story at. It seems like it's been a life-time since then, but it's only been two days, and after about five minutes and I was parking on the curb beside the park. I turned to Lizzie and turned on my parental voice.

"Lizzie, I want you to come and tell me when you get tired. You are still recovering somewhat and I don't need anything to happen to you, you got that?"

"Yes _dad._ Can I go now?" she asked a little annoyed.

"Yes, yes. Go run wild!" I said as she hopped out of the back of the jeep and ran towards a group of kids her age playing soccer.

I got out of the jeep and met Kaylie at the front of it and wrapped my arm around her waist as she did the same to me. Being with her just makes me feel better. She has something about her that I love; I just don't know what that something is yet…

We walked together to the same bench that we sat on two days ago and got comfortable. With her head leaning up against my chest and me holding both of her hands in mine watching Lizzie have fun is the best life I could ask for right about now. As I watched Lizzie play I couldn't help but to think how Casey was doing. _Stop thinking about her. She is with Sam and you are with Kaylie. Kaylie is the one that is here for you even though she may think you are a little crazy from your breakdown. Speaking of, she never told me what made her move here…_

"So…" I penetrated the blissful silence between us, "Are you ever going to tell me what brought you to the town of Brant?"

She let go of my hand and sat up. Turning to face me, I could tell this was going to be difficult for her by the way her eyes were already getting misty.

"Well, for starters, my name isn't really Kaylie…"

"What do you mean?"

"My real name is Amaryllis."

"Amaryllis? Really?" I chuckled involuntarily.

"Yes, it was my mom's favorite type of flowers." She chuckled with me.

"Why would you change your name?"

"So my parents, my ex, and the law couldn't find me…" she said as she looked down at her hands. I opened my moth to ask her what she meant, but she stopped me and continued with the story.

"I was your typical grade-A, keener, abstaining, goody-two-shoes girl that nobody wanted to be with. One day this new guy named Reeve moved to my school and he was the typical bad boy that only dated dumb, blonde floozies; which is why it came a shock to the whole school, and myself, when he asked me out. We went out from grade seven through ten and I didn't think anything could go wrong…

One night after one of Reeve's hockey games his friend Tommy invited us to his house because his parents weren't home and he was throwing a party. I was a little hesitant, but Reeve told me that everything would be ok. When we got to Tommy's house almost everyone there was drunk and Reeve quickly joined in with them. I felt so out of place because I didn't drink, and frankly I didn't like Reeve drinking, but the next thing I knew Reeve was shoving a beer into my hand telling me it would make me feel less uptight… I should have known to leave the party then…" she said putting her head in her hands, "After about five beers I was drunk and the last thing I can remember is Reeve t-taking off my c-c-clothes and something that s-sounded like a wrapper… When I w-woke up the next morning and h-he was laying beside me undressed and I-I looked to see th-that I was t-t-too…" she lifted her head back up and tears were welling up in her eyes as her breathing started to come in short intervals.

I pulled her into my arms and held her close to me._ I can't believe that sick bastard did that to her… I can't believe he raped her._

"I d-didn't want t-to do it… I w-wasn't ready… I didn't w-w-want to do it…" she sobbed into my chest.

"Shh… I know you didn't." I tried to calm her down.

After a few minutes she pulled away and scooted closer to me and I wrapped my arms back around her. A few more sniffles, and then she started to tell more.

"I didn't tell anyone what happened to me, but Reeve did. Everyone in my school thought I was a dirty slut because of the way he told the story. In one night of bad judgment I went from being grade-A, goody-two-shoes Kaylie to a C-average, slut. It's amazing how a few lies can ruin your life completely…" she shook her head back and forth.

"So I went about the rest of my grade ten year with no friends and my sanity slowly slipping away from me, that's until I met Darcy. He moved from California, so he had no clue what had happened to me, and we became friends instantly. Everyone told him Reeve's lies, but he refused to hear them; he was the first person to actually believe me. After a few months of knowing him, I told him what really happened to me that night and he went ballistic. He grabbed my hand and his keys and we drove to Reeve's house.

I was to sit in the car until Darcy came back, but then Reeve p-pulled a gun and I ran to get it away from him. As I tried to wrestle it away from him, s-something happened and the g-gun went off… I turned around and s-saw Darcy clutching his side before h-he fell to the ground… I watched him b-b-bleed out and there w-was nothing I could d-do…" again her voice was cut off by sobs._ She went through all of this and she thought my situation was terrible? I will never think that my life is worse than anyone else's… _

"Reeve circled around me and told me that I had k-killed Darcy. That night I grabbed all of my stuff and got on a bus to anywhere and I ended up here, b-because I killed my best friend; the only p-person that cared about me."

"You didn't kill him Kaylie."

"Y-y-yes I did," she whispered so quietly I barely heard her, "I l-let him go to Reeve's house, I had to fight Reeve o-over the gun… I killed him."

I pulled her in tighter to me and held her trying, hoping that all of the bad memories would go away.

"I d-d-didn't even get to s-say goodb-b-bye…" she whispered into my shoulder.

She soon composed herself and at that point Lizzie started walking towards us.

"Der, I'm tired…" she looked out of breath and a little flushed.

"Well then let's go back ho- to the motel." I couldn't call that motel home…

I pulled Kaylie up with me and held her hand securely in mine as we walked back to the jeep. I got in the driver's seat while Kaylie got in the front and Liz got in the back. My hand met Kaylie's on the console and I couldn't help but to smile as I drove. When we got back to the parking lot of the steak-house I looked back and found Lizzie passed out in the back.

I got out and pulled her up into my arms and walked her to the truck, putting her in the front seat and buckling her up. I walked back to the jeep and found Kaylie standing outside of it waiting for me.

"I'm sorry that you had to listen to my sad life story." She said as I wrapped my hand around hers.

"You listened to me when I needed it, so I was happy to be there for you." I said with my signature smirk.

"You think that little smirk is cute?" she giggled to herself.

"Actually, yes. Yes I do." There has never been a girl that hasn't melted in her shoes from my smirk.

"Well I'm sorry to tell you, but it really isn't." she said with a little smirk herself.

"Hmmmm…" I wrapped my arms around her waist and she let out a yelp of laughter and flinched away from me._ This could be fun… _

I reached my arms out and started tickling her sides until she could barely breathe. She put her hands on my stomach, trying to push me away, and I let out a yelp of laughter._ Crap…_ her face contorted into an evil grin and I knew what she was thinking. I took off running towards a grassy patch beside the parking lot and she was on my heals the whole time. I suddenly stopped and turned around and Kaylie plowed into me, making me lose my footing and falling on the ground underneath her.

Her breathe came harsh and raged across my face and mine did the same. She smiled weakly and then her face slowly inched closer to mine until our lips met. It was a soft kiss, but it was… nice. It was like no other kiss I had shared with a girl. Usually when I kiss a girl it is hasty and usually involves my tongue in sed-girls mouth.

Her face pulled away from mine and a smile spread across her face as one spread across mine. I flipped over and she was now underneath me. I pushed some of her hair from her face and looked into her deep green eyes, looking for any hesitation or fear. I slowly pressed my lips to hers. I pulled back and looked back down at her.

"Is this ok?" I asked, hoping I hadn't crossed a very thin, scary line.

"It's perfect." She said smiling up at me.

"You're perfect." I said smiling back. _Gosh that was cheesy._

"I know." She said as she pecked me on the cheek.

My face changed five different colors and I couldn't stop the huge grin stretching across my face. After placing another small kiss on her lips, I got to my feet and stuck my hand out for hers. She happily took it and we walked back to the jeep hand in hand. When we got to it, I helped her get in and leaned in over the window, not wanting this moment to end.

"It's only five-fifteen, do you wanna meet up and do something later?" she asked batting her eyelashes at me.

"Well, why don't you come to the motel and we can watch movies and just hang out?"

"That sounds wonderful!" she said cheerfully, "When would you like me to come over?"

"How about I call you when Lizzie wakes up and you bring over whatever movie you want to watch."

"Sounds perfect." She said with a dreamy smile.

I leaned in for one more kiss and she gladly kissed me back. I could feel her smiling against my lips and I pulled back to see her beautiful smile.

"I'll see you tonight then." I said as I leaned in to peck her on the cheek.

"Tonight." She barely whispered and then she was off.

After watching her drive down the road a distance I turned and walked back to the truck. As I hopped into the driver seat I caught a glimpse of Lizzie out of the corner of my eye and my breath caught in my throat. For a moment I thought she was Casey and that was enough to almost bring me to tears._ I forgot about Casey. How could I already be letting her go?_ I started the car as my head pounded to the sound of the engine.

When we got to the motel I carefully picked Lizzie up out of her seat and carried her into the room. _She looks so peaceful when she's asleep._ I laid her down on the bed and I moved to sit on the end of it to think.

_I don't think I can do this. I like Kaylie and all, but what about Casey? I just left her with all of the funeral arrangements and her little sister followed me here. And what about Marti? I can't be in a relationship right now because I need to find her. But Kaylie makes me feel like all of this bad stuff isn't even happening. And am I going to bring Kaylie with me to the funeral? Heck, I don't even know when the funeral is! Ugh! Why can't I just go back in time and warn them of all of this? _

"God," I whispered so I wouldn't wake Lizzie, "why are you doing this to me? You have taken away my family, my Casey, my life. Why can't you just end my misery?"

"Because he knows that I need you, and you still need to find Marti."

I turned around to find Lizzie sitting in the middle of the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. It looked as if she was about to cry, but she was strong. I pulled her into a hug and ruffled her hair.

"You're the best Squirt," I said smiling, "You want Kaylie to come over and we watch a movie?"

"Yes!" she squealed.

"Ok, let me call her and tell her that you are awake." I pulled out my cell phone and saw that I had put it on silent and had two missed calls. I called my voicemail and heard the voice I wanted to hear most.

"_Hey Derek, just calling to tell you that the funeral is set for Friday and I hope that you do come, and if you could please tell me if Lizzie got to you safely. Bye."_ A few seconds after the second message started to play. _"Derek, could you please contact me in some way to tell me if Lizzie got to you? I am so worried, and I would really appreciate it if you could call me or something. Hope to see you at the funeral. Bye."_

I deleted the messages and I smiled down at Lizzie as dialed Kaylie's number.

"Hey Kaylie, Lizzie is awake if you are ready to come over."

"Ok, I'm on my way. See you in a little bit." She said and then hung up.

After a few minutes she showed up and had five DVD's in her hand consisting of_ Titanic, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stone, The Bourne Identity, and Finding Nemo._

"So, what do we want to watch?" Kaylie asked as she laid all of the movies out on the bed.

"I want to watch Finding Nemo!" Lizzie said happily.

"That sounds like a good choice. What about you Derek?"

"The Bourne Identity, aka the obvious choice." I said smugly.

"So Finding Nemo it is!" Kaylie said as she put the DVD into the DVD player.

We all hopped on to the bed and got comfortable. Lizzie stretched out across the end of the bed while Kaylie and I leaned up against the headboard, my arm wrapped around her, and she holding my available hand. I pressed my lips against her forehead and she snuggled in closer to me. _I think maybe this might be the better choice…_

'_So, Coral, when you said you wanted an ocean view, you didn't think that we we're gonna_

_get the whole ocean, did you? Huh? Oh yeah. A fish can breathe out here. Did your_

_man deliver or did he deliver?'_

I woke up and looked around the room. The room was illuminated by the blue screen on the TV and I could see Lizzie laying at the very end of the bed in a deep sleep. I looked at the clock and it read _9:01pm. _I looked around for Kaylie and found that she wasn't laying beside me like she was before I fell asleep. I looked over to the bathroom door and saw that it was cracked a little and there was a yellow light emitting from it. I got up off of the bed and right when I was about to knock I heard Kaylie's whispering voice.

"_Yeah, he is asleep right now, and I figured it was the best time to contact you."  
_"_Umm… I guess you can call me his girlfriend? I'm not really sure."  
_"_Don't say that, he still loves you. I know that he does."  
_"_I think he is just using me as a way to get over you maybe…?"  
_"_It's like when were together I know that he is wishing I was you."  
_"_I just don't understand why you would do that to him."  
_"_Wait, what? Then why does he think that?"  
_"_Oh my gosh! I'll tell him when he wakes up. I can't believe this!"  
_"_He hasn't said anything about going, but I'm sure he will. It is his family after all."  
_"_Well if he says that he isn't I will talk him into coming."  
_"_Ok, maybe I can call you later and we can talk more about this."  
"Ok, bye."_

I heard her hang up the phone and heard the sound of her feet walking on the tile of the bathroom floor. The door swung open and her face fell into terror.

"How long have you been standing there Derek?" she asked looking down at her feet.

"Long enough. What do you think you were doing?" I asked furious.

"Look, I know you're mad, but I needed to talk to Casey myself."

"You had no right. You know what she did and why I refuse to talk to her."

"But that's the thing Derek, she just explained to me what really hap-"

"No. There is no way I am going to stand here and listen to you. I think it is time that you left." I said as I took my phone from her.

"Derek, just let me explain." She pleaded.

"Kaylie, there is nothing to explain. You went behind my back and talked to _her._"

"But Derek, what you think happened isn't right."

"Just go."

"But Der-"

"Kaylie, leave! And don't come back." I shouted.

"Fine. I know when I have lost a fight, but Derek you need to stop being stubborn and mad, and just talk to her." She picked up her bag and walked out the door.

I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head into my hands._What have I done? I just told the only person that was here for me to leave and never come back._

* * *

**So... what'ch think? I think it's a little choppy in a few places, but that's just me. I hope I did good on Kaylie's background history. It was a little hard to write, and I wanted to get across the pain that she felt, but at some parts I feel like I over did it. **

**Please review and tell me how you feel about this chapter. It would make me super happy!:)**


	12. Miss Me Princess?

**So the other day I was reading the chapter that I updated last, and I realized that it was completely and totally HORRIBLE! I can't believe that I posted that garbage for y'all to read! I was sooooooo ashamed of myself, so to redeam myself, I totally redid the whole chapter:))) This chapter is all in Derek's POV, and I think it's ten times better than the other one! I hope you like it!**

**I just want to take a minute and say that I am so thankful for every single review ya'll leave for this story. If it wasn't for the reviews, I probably would have abandoned this a long time ago. So thank you for all of your support, and lovely reviews:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LwD, but we all know I want Michael to be my babydaddy;)**

* * *

Getting out of the truck, I realized that this was going to be the worst day of my life. I would be burring my family, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Sure I could have stayed in Brant, but I would have never forgiven myself for not coming, and Lizzie really wanted to come. This is going to be her first time to see the bodies; I hope she is up to it.

My heartbeat increased as I looked down at the cemetery and saw three caskets—a pink one, a black one, and a grey one—in a row surrounded by tons of people cloaked in black. I looked up at the sky and breathed in the cool air that surrounded me. Lizzie, Kaylie, and I decided that we would stand at least twenty feet away from the funeral so nobody would really be able to see us. As we walked up closer I could make out everyone that was sitting around the caskets. Truman, Noel, Trevor, Max, Sam, Emily, Sally, Kendra, dad's business partners, Nora's friends, and as I got closer I could see a person that was crying so hard that they almost fell out of their chair; and I would notice that beautiful brown hair anywhere. I stopped in my tracks as Kaylie and Lizzie moved forward. I shook my head, trying to tell myself that I could do this, but this tiny voice in my head was saying_, You know you can't do this. _My breathing became labored and I practically slumped down into the grass. Kaylie turned around and a terrified expression crossed her face as she ran back towards me.

"Derek, are you ok?"

"Y-yeah, I just got kind of light headed. I'm fine." I continued to sit in the grass and she sat down beside me.

Lizzie finally turned around to see us about fifteen feet behind her and she came running back.

"Derek, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Liz, I'm fine."

"Oh, well… do you… umm…"

"Lizzie, spit it out." I said with an unwanted, annoyed tone.

"Can I go sit with Casey? She just looks so alone and I don't think I can sit back here watching her."

"Sure."

"But Derek, she is ou- wait… did you just say 'sure'?"

"Yeah, you can go sit with her. I don't mind." I lied.

Of course I minded. I was the person that wanted to be with her right now the most, but I can't cause that ship has sailed, and I'm standing on the dock alone… well maybe not completely… I looked over at Kaylie and smiled when I saw she was staring back at me. I couldn't believe how I treated her and we made up practically as soon as I saw her. I had been trying to figure out how to tie my tie when she showed up.

"_I think you need some help…" she said as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom._

"_W-what are you doing here?"_

"_You called me…" _

"_Oh yeah. Listen, I'm really-"_

"_It's ok Derek," she walked closer to me and took the tie out of my hands, "you don't have to apologize, I understand. You've been under a lot of stress, and I shouldn't have done that…" she folded the tie a couple of times and then it was hanging around my neck, looking like it was supposed to._

"_Yeah, but I shouldn't have reacted like that. I know you were just trying to help," I took her hands in mine, "I'm so sorry."_

_A smile spread across her face and I grabbed her into a hug. The smell of her perfume enveloped my senses, and I smiled a small smile knowing that she was here to stay. When she pulled back I pulled her in closer to me and kissed her on the lips, and she kissed back._

"_It's ok, but there is something I have to tell you."_

"_Can you tell me about it later? We really have to get moving." I said as we walked out of the bathroom and I grabbed my keys._

"_Sure…"_

As I looked into her eyes I could tell there was something that she was dying to tell me.

"What were you trying to tell me earlier before we left the motel?"

"Well… umm… did you hear any of the conversation that Casey and I had the other night?"

"Umm, kind of. It was a little muffled and I caught about half the things you were saying."

"Well when I questioned Casey about the whole Sam and her thing, she told me that it wasn't what you thought it was."

"She lied to you…" I grumbled and looked down at the ground.

Of course she would lie to Kaylie and try to get her to make me see reason. Typical Casey. She is so predicable it isn't even funny. I won't listen to this.

"No she didn't Derek. She started crying… I don't think she would do that for me to believe a lie."

"You don't know her like I do."

"Well anyways, she told me that it was all a misunderstanding. Sam wasn't proposing to her, he was trying to get her to stop drinking."

"Now I know she was lying. Casey has never touch alcohol in her life; she's too much of a keener to do that."

"Well from what she was telling me, it sounded like she was drinking to take the pain of losing her family away…"

The memories hit me so hard that the realization almost knocked me over.

_"Are you ok? I heard you throwing up earlier."  
"Yeah, I'm ok. I just have a really bad migraine."_

_She ran out of the kitchen and ran towards the front door, stumbling a couple of times._

_She tripped over the curb I turned and looked at Sam, knowing he was hiding something. Casey wasn't usually __that __clumsy._

_Why was Sam acting so weird? Why did Casey look terrified and tripping more than usual?_

_We walked in the house and Casey stumbled over nothing, nothing at all._

_"What is wrong with you Casey?" I asked as I pulled her up to look into my eyes.  
"W-what do you mean?"  
"I know that you're naturally clumsy, but come on Case, you haven't walk two feet without tripping all day. What's wrong?"  
"Nothing D-Derek. I'm f-f-fine!" she said stuttering, which only meant one thing; she's lying.  
"Casey, stop lying, tell me wh-"  
"Derek, she said she was fine." Sam interrupted._

How did I not see it? With all the stumbling around, the confused and scared faces she was giving Sam. I should have known. I lowered my head and stared intently at the grass as I contemplated all of this, and Kaylie sat beside me just waiting.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know, she didn't say…"

"But she told Sam, and not me! Why would she do that?"

"I don't know! You're going to have to talk to her."

I looked up towards the funeral and saw my uncle step down from the podium and Casey stood up. She walked with her shoulders back and she looked strong. How could she have turned to drinking? She's the strongest person I know; or at least I thought she was. As she started her speech, you could see with each passing word she was getting closer and closer to a breakdown. I watched as he face crumpled up in pain and tears washed down her face. My heart twisted and my breath got caught in my throat as I watched her literally breakdown in front of me and all of the other people in the crowd. She sunk to the ground, holding her chest, and Lizzie ran up to help her.

"Kaylie, I have to go down there."

"I'll come too." And with that we were pretty much sprinting down towards the funeral.

Everyone turned their heads as Kaylie and I came running to Casey. There were a couple of gasps and some yelled my name, but I pushed everything away, trying to get to her. I skidded to a stop and Kaylie was right beside me as I dropped to my knees so Casey could see me. She looked up to me with those big, blue, memorizing eyes of hers, in total shock.

"Miss me Princess?"

"D-Derek? Is it really you?" she asked as she reached her hand out to touch my face.

I melted into her touch and nodded my head, and in the blink of an eye she was in my arms. The smell of her perfume made me smile as I realized she smelled exactly like Nora; she must have used her perfume. She dug her fingernails into my back, and even though it hurt a little, I hoped that she would never let go. Then all of a sudden she pulled back and started punching me in the chest.

"Der-ek! How could you leave me like that! And take my little sister with you! How could you leave me here to take care of this all by myself! How could you l-leave me?" she dissolved into tears and collapsed into my chest, sobbing.

"Case, I promise, I will _never _leave you again."

"Never, ever?"

"Never, ever."

As Casey and I sat on the ground in each other's arms, Lizzie walked up to the podium and pulled the microphone to her mouth.

"Ok, well this has been horrible… We're happy you came to support us and to say goodbye to our parents and _brother_…"

Everyone started to get up and leave after they walked up to the caskets and said their last goodbyes, and as they did so Casey had detached herself from me and we were now sitting down in chairs with Lizzie, Kaylie, Sam, Sally, Kendra, Max and Emily standing around us.

"Ok, so who are you exactly?" Emily asked as she stared at Kaylie.

"Kaylie; a friend of Derek's."

"Emily, do you really have to do that now? Can't it wait till later?" I asked annoyed out of my mind. Sure, I enjoy Emily's company, but she is too nosey.

"Yeah, I guess…"

"Derek what are you doing back? In your letter you said you wouldn't come back." I looked over to Casey, and even though this was probably the worst day of our life, I could tell that she wanted to smile as far as her face would let her.

"I know, but Kaylie told me what you told her and then it all clicked in my head. The throwing up, headaches, the overly clumsiness, it just all made sense."

"Wait." Emily interrupted, "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant! Casey! I'm your best friend and you cou-"

"Emily! I'm not pregnant."

"You're not?"

"No, I just got to the point where I couldn't take any more of the pain, and I kind of opened the liquor cabinet…"

"You got drunk!" Emily screeched so loudly that anybody in a twenty mile radius could hear.

"Em-ily!" Casey screeched back using the same tone she uses when she is mad at me.

"Sorry…"

I looked around to the faces of the people surrounding us. All of them were covered in pure shock. Max and Kendra's jaws were on the ground, and Sally, Emily, and Lizzie looked as if their brains had exploded. It was almost comical. Sure I was surprised when it finally came together for me, but I knew somewhere deep, deep down, Casey had a bad side.

"Why would you do that?" Sally finally spoke up.

"I don't know. It just felt like there was nothing else I could do…"

"You could have talked to one of us." Max added.

"No I couldn't. None of you would have understood."

"I would." Lizzie piped up.

"And me too. You were not in this alone." I said as I put both of her hands in mine.

"I know," she said as she dipped her head and tears visibly fell into her lap, "I just had to be strong for the both of you… I couldn't be week. The alcohol took away the pain."

"But you should have came to one of us first." I said, pulling her into a hug.

"I know," she pulled away from me and stood up, walking over to Kaylie, "Thank you so much for being there for Derek when I wasn't, and for helping him see the truth. I can never repay you."

"You already have. You've made Derek the happiest I have seen him since we first met." She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Well you must come back to the house so we can get to know each other."

"Sounds like a plan." Kaylie smiled at Casey.

"Well then let's go. Do you guys wanna come?" Casey looked around our circle of friends. They all nodded their heads.

"Ok well there are a few more things to be done here, but y'all can go head, and we'll catch up."

They all turned to leave except for Casey, Lizzie, Kaylie, and I. I didn't even ask Kaylie if she wanted to catch a ride with any of them, cause I knew that would put her in an awkward situation, and plus I didn't want her to be bombarded with questions from Emily.

"I'll just go wait in the truck."

"Here are the keys." I tossed the keys to Kaylie and she made her way up the hill to my truck.

"Casey, I'm going to go say goodbye…" Lizzie said as she eyed the caskets.

"Ok, I have to go talk to the priest about what I have to pay him, and then we can leave after Lizzie finishes." Lizzie started to walk over to dad's casket as Casey quickly turned to me, "Go with her. I'm not just sure how she is going to take all of it." I nodded my head and started to walk to Lizzie.

When I got to Lizzie she was staring down at dad with a quizzical look on her face that I didn't really understand. As I looked down at him my heart ached to hug him, to tell him I love him, to be a better son to him. He would never be there again to help me in the strangest ways with my problems, or to make a joke that only he thought was funny. He was gone and he was never coming back. Staring down at my dad, trying not to let the sudden wave of tears in my eyes free, I completely missed Lizzie moving over to Nora. I quickly wiped away the few tears that did escape and walked over to her.

Nora looked beautiful laying there even though most of her forehead was covered by a huge cut. The color of the blue blouse contrasted with her skin in a way that almost made her look like she was still alive. Lizzie reached her hand out and placed it on top of Nora's; I almost fell, amazed that she was able to touch her like that. I wouldn't have even thought of touching her, to afraid that it would make all of this too real. I never got to tell Nora how much she meant to me, and I would carry that around with me the rest of my life. I wish I would have been less of a heartless jerk and told her. My thoughts were interrupted when Lizzie suddenly jerked over to Ed's casket.

As soon as her eyes met his body she fell into me and I thought she had fainted. I looked down at her and saw she was fully conscience, she was just in shock. Her hand reached out to touch his face and I almost swatted it away, but this is something she has to do. Her pointer-finger traced the scar all the way to his neck, with her eyes following, and then she looked back up at his face. She slowly leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead, and it made my stomach ache. He's really gone… I will never have my little brother back. I was the worst example for him to look up to, but he thought I was the best big brother in the world. The sad part is that I never got to tell him he was the best little brother in the world. Sure I treated him like gum on the bottom of my shoe, but come on, I'm not that heartless not to love my own brother. Lizzie pulled back from him and landed into my arms, sobs overtaking her body, and I just held her, praying that one day this heartache will end for her.

I quickly looked around for Casey and her eyes locked with mine, then she looked down to Lizzie and was at our sides in less than two seconds.

"Lizzie, are you ok?"

"No! I'm not ok Casey! The boy I love is laying in that casket dead because of me!" Lizzie lashed out.

"Wait," I stopped her from saying anything else, utterly confused, "What do you mean?" Casey and I never told her what the cornier said about how Ed died.

"Edwin was the first to see the other truck, and before it hit, he threw himself over me. Right before everything went-" she took at breath, trying to hold back tears, "before everything went black, I heard, '_Let your heart guide you...but listen closely because it whispers…'_ It is our f-f-favorite part from_ Land B-B-Before Time._ It was _our_ p-part." Lizzie dissolved into tears as Casey, Kaylie, and I hugged her.

Ed didn't die on contact. He felt the pain of literally being ripped open… did dad feel it? Did Nora? What about Marti? She could still be in pain somewhere… My chest heaved in an unnatural way, and I couldn't breathe. I panicked and started hyperventilating, falling to the ground. Casey and Lizzie tried to calm me down.

"Derek," Casey said calmly, grabbing both sides of my face, looking straight into my eyes, "Derek, you need to calm down. Just focus on me. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Come on Derek, just focus."

My breathing sort of leveled out and I broke down into sobs. I know it's not the manly thing to do and that I have been crying a lot, but this is just too much; I can't handle this. I can't handle having my family dead and my baby sister missing. I can't take this anymore. Casey pulled me into a hug, but unlike before at the morgue, it didn't make me feel any better. But it did make me feel a little better knowing that she was here to help me; for me to help her. Soon enough I calmed completely down and I could stand back up.

"I'm sorry about that… I don't know what happened."

"Derek, it's ok to be upset and cry. It's ok to let your feelings out considering the circumstances." Casey counseled, rubbing my back.

Then there was a strange sound behind us. We turned around just in time to see dad's casket being put into the ground. We stood there and watched as Nora's and Ed's followed; having little pieces of us being buried with them.

"Come on, let's go home." I said with a small smile.

I thought I would never be able to say that again._ Home._ It just sounded… right. After hugging each other for a couple of minutes we all turned to leave, piled into my truck, and were on our way home.

As we pulled up into the drive way I notice Max's, Sam's, and Kendra's vehicles parked on the side of the road. I had forgotten that we invited them over. To be honest, I really just wanted to be alone with Casey and Lizzie, but that's not going to happen.

Once we got in the house I noticed that everything was different. My chair was on the complete opposite side of the room, the couch was twisted sideways, and the TV was nowhere to be seen. I looked over at Casey and she gave me a sheepish grin.

"What happened here?"

"Well… umm… To make a long story short, I smashed in the TV with the phone, and I moved the room around to make it look decent."

"What?"

"I had a mental breakdown yesterday and threw the phone at the TV. And guess what! I'm stronger than I appear to be." She said with a smug expression.

"Impressive McDonald… Very impressive…." I smiled back at her.

The couch was already occupied, but my chair was wide open, just waiting for me. I grabbed Casey's hand, walked over to my chair, and sat in it, pulling her down into my lap. She looked at me surprised, but I just reclined back and pulled her back with me. It felt good to be back home and have Casey back in my life. It's like there is a little less pain now. That's when I remembered that Kaylie was here.

But she didn't look upset at all to see Casey and I like this; she looked rather happy. Not to mention that it looked like Sam was making a move on her. She looked up for a second at me and smiled, and I couldn't help but to smile back.

Everyone laughed, cried, and told stories. After it started to get dark everyone started to go their separate ways. Lizzie went upstairs as everyone walked out the door, and I saw Kaylie get up to leave with Sam. I picked Casey up, sat her back down in my chair, and walked over to Kaylie, wondering what in the world she was doing.

"So… Miss Amaryllis," I whispered, laughing a little, "where do you think you are going?" she smiled back at me.

"Well, Sam said I could stay in the guest room at his house, and I thought it would be best if left so Casey, Lizzie, and you could have some time together."

"Ok, but if he does something that you don't feel _comfortable_ with, call me ASAP and I will come and get you."

"I will, I promise. I'll come by tomorrow before I leave to go back to Brant so I can say goodbye to you and Lizzie."

"You're going back?"

"Yeah, my life is there Derek. I will visit as much as I can."

"Pinky-promise?"

"Pinky-promise." She interlocked her pinky with mine and I smirked as I pulled her into a hug.

"See you tomorrow Kaylie." I placed a kiss on her forehead and she walked out the door. I pulled on the collar of Sam's shirt, bringing him back to me.

"Look Sam, don't try anything with her ok. She's had a bad—and when I say bad, I mean really bad—past with guys, so don't do anything unless she tells you. Got it?"

"Yeah D, I got it." and with that I let him go.

After I watched them get in the car and drive off into the night, I went back in the house to see Casey sitting where I left her, crying. I quickly ran over to her and pulled her up into my arms.

"What's wrong Case?"

"I j-just miss them s-so much…"

"Shh… I know, I miss them too."

We sat there for and immeasurable amount of time in silence, just holding on to each other to stay afloat. Then I looked up to the clock and noticed how late it was.

"You need to go to bed Casey."

"I know… Can I sleep in your room?" she asked not looking at me.

"Sure thing Princess." I smiled down at her as she beamed up at me.

"Ok, let me go take a shower first, and I'll meet you there." And with that she was out of my arms and sprinting up the stairs.

I got up and walked to the kitchen. I hadn't eaten all day and my stomach was staging a protest. Rummaging through the fridge I found some pepperoni and cheese and pulled them out. I found a new loaf of bread in the bread box and proceeded to make two pepperoni sandwiches. After woofing them down and drinking a large glass of milk, my stomach finally went silent.

Feeling like I could crash any second I walked up the stairs and made it to my room. As I entered I was so happy that I brought all of my stuff back. Before I left the motel, I was really hoping that there would be some need for me and Lizzie to stay. So now I unzipped my bag and brought out my green plaid pajama bottoms, a green t-shirt, and changed. I crawled into my oh-so-missed bed and pulled the comforter up around me; feeling the cozy warmth of being _home_. My door creaked open and my breath was taken away by the girl that walked in and shut it back. Her hair was wet, hanging down her back, and she was wearing my old _D-Rock_ shirt with a pair of pajama bottoms. She tip-toed to the bed as I lifted the comforter, and she slid under snuggling up to me. I rapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head, taking in the smell of her pomegranate scented shampoo.

Her head tilted upward and I looked down at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Slowly my face gravitated towards hers and when her lips touched mine, it felt like nothing I had felt before; almost magical. I kissed back hoping that she felt the same way I did, and apparently she did, as she moved to where she was straddling me. I trailed down her throat, kissing every inch of visible skin. I moved back up to her mouth and landed on her lips. She opened her mouth and I slid my tongue in exploring every part of her that I could. Slowly she pulled my shirt over my head, and she placed little kisses down my bare chest. Soon she was trying to take off her own shirt and I knew that this had to stop before something we would regret happened.

"Casey…"

"Hmm?" she moaned as she moved back up to my mouth.

"We need to stop before this goes too far." She pulled back from me and her eyes glistened in the moonlight.

"You don't want me?"

"Oh, trust me, Casey. I want you, but not like this…"

"Like what?"

"Vulnerable. We just lost our family, and I would be taking advantage of you…"

"Oh…" her chin quivered and a tear fell from her eye.

"Princess, don't cry. I want you, trust me, I really do. Just not tonight, ok?"

"I believe you." She laid down on top of me and I wrapped my arms around her tightly.

Laying there I could hear every noise around me. The sound of the wind blowing, the sound of crickets, Casey's heartbeat, my heartbeat; I could hear all of it, and I absorbed every minute of it. Soon I heard Casey's breathing even out and little snores. I let my eyes droop and I was soon asleep, dreaming of a place where everything was normal.

_Brrrrrring! Brrrrrrrring! Brrrrrrrrrrring! _I rubbed my eyes, trying to adjust them to the light, as I gently leaned over to my bedside table, trying not to wake up Casey, and picked up the house phone.

"Hmme?" I mumbled.

"Is this Derek Venturi?" the voice on the other side asked.

"Mmhmm…"

"Derek, this is Chris. From the hospital morgue." I instantly became alert and terrified. I jolted up, leaving Casey falling back onto the pillows, mumbling something incoherent.

"Have you found my sister? Have you found Marti?"

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**Sooooo... Is it better? I hope it is!**

**P.s. If the "intamate" scene is a little weird, I'm sorry. I'm not really good a writing that kind of stuff in my oppinion...:/**


	13. How Is It Going To Be Ok?

Ahhhhhh! I am sooooooo sorry that I haven't updated sooner! I totally got wrapped up in Kames, and forgot that I left all of you with such a cliffhanger! It makes me want to hate myself! Buuuuut, since it is my FF birthday, I felt like it would be the perfect time to update!:)

This chapter is a whole lot shorter than any of my other chapters, but I felt like it didn't need to be long because it just needed to give what I put. I know that probably didn't make sense, but you will understand. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Really?

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"Casey! Wake up! We have to go to the hospital!" Derek yelled as she shook my shoulders.

"What?" I said as I rubbed my eyes.

"It's Marti! They found her!" Derek yelled as he got up and started rummaging through his drawers for clothes to put on.

"What! They found her?"

"Yes. We have to get to the hospital, like now Casey. Go get dressed."

I jumped out of the bed and ran into my room throwing on the first thing that caught my eye. As I threw my clothes on I couldn't keep the smile off of my face._ Marti is alive, and we're going to see her._ In the distance I could faintly hear Derek yelling at Lizzie to get ready. After brushing through my hair a couple of times and running to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I was ready to go. Sprinting down the stairs I was surprised to see Lizzie and Derek waiting for me. We all ran out to the truck and got in our respective seats right be for Derek started speeding down the road.

As he drove I saw a small tear escape his eyes._ Derek is going to have a piece of his family back…_ I smiled at the thought and caught his hand in mine. His eyes didn't leave the road, but I saw a smirk tugging at his mouth. Quickly he whipped into the hospital and I had to hold him back, keeping him from jumping out of the truck while it was still moving.

We all got out and ran towards the entrance, all hand in hand. As the nurse at the front desk gave us directions to where we could find Marti, the thought went through my mind that maybe Marti was found dead. I quickly removed the thought from my head as we rounded a corner and came face to face with Chris.

"Whe-where is she?" Derek panted as he came to a stop.

"Before you go see her, I just want to warn you that she has been badly injured. There are huge gashes across her face and on her arms, and she ca-"

"Ok , we got it. Now where is she?"

Chris pointed into a room and the breath literally got knocked out of me when I noticed where we were. My eyes moved over to the door beside the one that Derek and Lizzie rushed into; it was Lizzie's hospital room. I looked in to find Derek falling to his knees beside the bed that held the once small, wrapped up body. The little girl laying in the bed was the girl we have been waiting to find the past week, and now we finally found her. Chris tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to find him with a grim expression on his face.

"Miss McDonald-"

"Call me Casey."

"Ok, Casey. There is something you need to know… During the wreck Marti was thrown from the car; the police think that she wasn't buckled properly. From the police report it seems that she was found about twenty feet from the wreckage, and a woman that lived in that area found her an hour after the ambulance left. She comes and visits her every day."

"What so bad about all of that?"

"Well when she was thrown from the van, she got a lot of glass in her eyes-"

"Casey!" Derek's voice came strangled.

I rushed into the room to find tears rolling down from Lizzie and his faces. I looked over to find Marti bang up and bruised. There was one huge gash across her face that was stitched up, going diagonally across her left eye. Looking down at her tiny arms I saw that they were still bandaged up like they were when we first looked into this room. As I watched Derek look at her, he almost seemed to be panicked.

"What is it Derek?"

"Casey!" Marti said as she smiled, not even looking in my direction, "Is that you?"

"Yes Marti, can't you see me standing here?"

"No."

Derek looked up at me and I covered my mouth with my hand, trying not to cry, talk, anything. _She got a lot of glass in her eyes…_ I looked over at Chris and he was nodding his head as if he were agreeing with me. Realization hit me like a ton of bricks;_ Marti is blind._ I slowly sat down in the plastic chair behind me and sobbed into my hands. I tried to keep quiet, but a few loud sobs escaped my lips.

"Casey, why are you crying?" Marti asked from what felt like a million miles away.

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even look up at her. _How are we supposed to take care of her? We're two eighteen year old kids that have to take care of our blind, little sister! How did this happen?_ Pulling my face into my hands, I tried to hold it together, but a few sobs slipped from my lips.

"Are you crying because I can't see?"

My head popped up and I stared at Marti. Even though she is just eight, she is a very perceptive girl. I shook my head 'no' and Derek shot me a look, and I realized that she couldn't see me. The tears poured from my eyes even faster and I couldn't breathe. Derek was at my side in a moment, wrapping his arms around me, trying to calm me down. I could faintly hear Marti and Lizzie talking but most of their words were drowned out by my sobs. Soon the sobs became too loud and Derek took me out of the room.

"Casey, it's going to be ok." He said as he placed both on his hands on either side of my face.

"H-h-how is this g-going to be o-ok? She's _blind_!"

"I know, but that just means that we have to come together closer as a family."

"What family Derek?" I hissed out, "We're two teenagers trying to take care of two kinds and now one of them is blind."

"I know, but we can make it through this. We've been knee deep in crap all week and it has only made us stronger." his hands slid down to mine, intertwining them, "As long as we are all together we can make it."

His words floated through my mind and he is right. We can make it through this as a family. I smiled up at him and nodded my head in agreement. Pulling me into a hug he placed a kiss on my forehead and I could feel that everything was going to work out some way.

"Do you want to go back in?" I nodded my head and we walked back into the room to find Lizzie and Marti chatting happily.

I walked over to the bed and rested my hand on top of Marti's smaller one.

"Casey?"

"Yes Marti, it's me."

"Are you better now?"

"Yes," I smiled at her and then looked up at her brother to find him smiling too as he took her other hand.

"Derek?"

"Smarti." He smiled so much it looked as if his face would split in half. He wasn't the last Venturi left.

"I have missed you guys."

"We've missed you too Smarti." A tear slipped from his eye.

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I know, I know. It is verrrrrry short, but I felt like it needed to be short so it could soak in, and so the next chapter could be suuuuper long! I hope I didn't disapoint!

Review?:)


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